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Original poster

He asked me for a handjob 5 days after giving birth.

231 replies

mondaystuesdays · 23/12/2025 18:23

im new here, sorry this is in the wrong place i see posts here seem to get loads of traffic and could do with advice. please be kind though

i have a 5 day old baby boy. He was unplanned but he is loved. I don’t have family support and as a result I live in temporary accommodation by the council with baby. I split up with his dad before he was born but last week we met up and we agreed to get back together. Baby was then born on Thursday and he’s been supportive and staying over since Saturday as we got home Saturday morning.

we’ve just been bonding with him tbh but today I felt more myself and comfortable and we took him for a short walk. Baby was asleep when we got home and I was just resting too as I’ve been worrying about baby not waking up for a feed so I’ve not been resting when he’s been sleeping (google says it’s normal though)

Bf then started asking for a handjob, I said no and when he asked why I reminded him I gave birth 5 days ago. His response was “it’s not like full on sex” and then went to the bathroom after making a comment about doing it himself. He’s seemed to be in a mood all afternoon and has now gone out after saying he’s going out for a smoke.

please be kind as I’m new here but I’ve never posted before so sorry if this is wrong in any way. I don’t have any one else to speak to about this. I just noticed to get it out.

OP posts:
Donttellempike · 23/12/2025 20:02

Hi OP, just ignore the incel wankers. If it wasn’t so tragic it would be funny 😄

RightSheSaid · 23/12/2025 20:02

You split up for a reason. Those reasons haven disappeared with the birth of your boy. Things won't get better they will just be magnified by lack of sleep. Ditch him now and stop wasting your time.

SouthLondonMum22 · 23/12/2025 20:01

Get rid of him. Yuck.

LittleMi55Nobody · 23/12/2025 20:01

mondaystuesdays · 23/12/2025 18:23

im new here, sorry this is in the wrong place i see posts here seem to get loads of traffic and could do with advice. please be kind though

i have a 5 day old baby boy. He was unplanned but he is loved. I don’t have family support and as a result I live in temporary accommodation by the council with baby. I split up with his dad before he was born but last week we met up and we agreed to get back together. Baby was then born on Thursday and he’s been supportive and staying over since Saturday as we got home Saturday morning.

we’ve just been bonding with him tbh but today I felt more myself and comfortable and we took him for a short walk. Baby was asleep when we got home and I was just resting too as I’ve been worrying about baby not waking up for a feed so I’ve not been resting when he’s been sleeping (google says it’s normal though)

Bf then started asking for a handjob, I said no and when he asked why I reminded him I gave birth 5 days ago. His response was “it’s not like full on sex” and then went to the bathroom after making a comment about doing it himself. He’s seemed to be in a mood all afternoon and has now gone out after saying he’s going out for a smoke.

please be kind as I’m new here but I’ve never posted before so sorry if this is wrong in any way. I don’t have any one else to speak to about this. I just noticed to get it out.

put him back under the rock whence he came from...you deserve more than this toad has to offer...good luck xx

KimuraTan · 23/12/2025 20:01

Sunloungerhogger · 23/12/2025 18:32

Congratulations OP on the birth, I hope you are recovering well, and enjoying your little one - you and he come first. I’m sorry you don’t have much support nearby. I do have one very serious piece of advice - you don’t say how long you were together before you split up, but given the baby’s father doesn’t appear to so far to have indicated he’s going to be great, I recommend not putting him on the birth certificate. If you do, he will have joint parental responsibility and you’re basically saddled with him, but if you don’t, assuming you don’t marry him, you retain sole parental responsibility. This doesn’t negate the requirement for him to pay child support.

This. 💯

Congratulations on your little baby!! Tell this wank stain of a man to get lost and rebuild your life for your little one’s sake. Do not put him on the birth certificate and don’t jeopardise the council help you will get as a single mum to a newborn. Best of luck 💐

TakingTheTime · 23/12/2025 20:01

What ahorrible pig he is. Get rid. It might be hard to cope for a while, but you and your baby don't need a loser like that.

Donttellempike · 23/12/2025 20:00

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This with bells on 🔔

ThePeachHiker · 23/12/2025 20:00

My two favourite people at baby group were 17 and 46. The three of us were called ‘the no sleep club’. We bonded over our lack of sleep and inability to tolerate stupid parenting advice. If the first baby group is rubbish, try another. Congratulations on the baby, sorry about the bloke. He needs to grow up.

Beeloux · 23/12/2025 20:00

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Well he could have went to the bathroom and finished himself off without declaring it and going in a huff.

Personally I have a very high sex drive and was wanting sex shortly after giving birth but that isn't the norm for many postpartum woman.

OPs hormones will be all over. Isn't it surprising he’s suddenly crawled out of his rock once the baby has been born in the hopes for some intimacy. I would be demanding an STI test before I went anywhere near him.

WonderfulSmith · 23/12/2025 20:00

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MimiSunshine · 23/12/2025 19:59

Do not give that baby his last name. It is not traditional, as no doubt him and his mum will try to tell you.

just have a look at baby’s hospital info and ID bracelets. They will say baby boy your last name. Babies always have the mothers last name which happens to be the dads too as he’d have married her and she’d have changed her name in the olden days.

hes a man child and it’s utterly gross that he wanted you to jerk him off just so he could have a hands free orgasm. What on earth did he think you’d get out of that other than sticky fingers? It’s gross and he doesn’t respect you.

Zanatdy · 23/12/2025 19:59

That’s grim. Assume he’s meant to be there to support you after the birth. Instead he’s thinking of his own needs. I’d be getting rid now.

YorkshireGoldDrinker · 23/12/2025 19:58

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Merry Christmas.

Mwnci123 · 23/12/2025 19:58

Congratulations on your baby op. Go to the baby groups- no one will judge you, everyone will just be getting on with looking after their babies and being exhausted.

Your boyfriend is being unreasonable and needs to grow up. He really should be supporting you right now, not pressuring you. Don't put up with more of this sort of childish and self-centred behaviour.

Donttellempike · 23/12/2025 19:58

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And here it is 😂😂😂😂😂

WonderfulSmith · 23/12/2025 19:58

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Sunnyintervalsandshowers · 23/12/2025 19:58

@mondaystuesdays didn't want to read and run.
Your age doesn't matter, you are the perfect mummy to your little baby, and are all he needs.
Be proud of your achievement in bringing a new life into the world, and go to baby classes - other mums aren't judging your age, I promise, and almost all mums who go to a baby group on their own are looking to connect with people and make a "village".
Hope you get things sorted out. You and your baby deserve the very best. Merry Christmas ❤️❤️❤️

Dinglehead · 23/12/2025 19:58

OP, your ex's behaviour is revolting. You've given birth and you have your own space. Tell him to stay away, enjoy Christmas day in whatever way you can. Even if you have some string lights up, your baby will enjoy them. This is about you, your baby and both of your futures. I don't think your ex has any right to be part of it. He says he wants things to work but what has he provided for the baby?

Please go to the baby groups and reach out to other mums. Also, look at the Freedom Project. It can help to re-establish self esteem. You and your child deserve better than anything your ex can offer.

WonderfulSmith · 23/12/2025 19:57

TheEverlastingPorridge · 23/12/2025 19:55

Top man!

Good for him, he hasn't kept his true self hidden - he has shown you early what he is and now you can decide if you want to keep this prince amongst men, or let the rubbish take itself out

‘when someone shows you who they are, believe them’

YorkshireGoldDrinker · 23/12/2025 19:57

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SpinningaCompass · 23/12/2025 19:56

Please don't stay with this arsehole because you're lonely.

He's showing you who he is.

End it again and mean it this time.

TheEverlastingPorridge · 23/12/2025 19:55

Top man!

Good for him, he hasn't kept his true self hidden - he has shown you early what he is and now you can decide if you want to keep this prince amongst men, or let the rubbish take itself out

WonderfulSmith · 23/12/2025 19:54

Childanddogmama · 23/12/2025 19:52

I think it's okay to ask but not sulk about it when told no!!

Edited

I’m going to quote this just to say it again.

Donttellempike · 23/12/2025 19:54

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Do men want women to be happy? Or do they just want sex on tap?

5 days post partum the father’s sex drive is really not the priority , in a sane world

WonderfulSmith · 23/12/2025 19:54

Women just don't want men to be happy, do they?

Women want men who treat them like humans and not just a sex toy.

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