To be thinking something so awful?

It sounds like an awful situation, so unfair of the ex-wife to dig her heels in every year and insist you are the problem for 'being born'.

I hope if the situation doesn't change your father can learn to see the positives of the festive days he does get to spend with all of you together. It's a tough one but you might need to just wait it out and do xmas on Christmas Eve etc in the meantime. The ex-wife can't win if you are all enjoying yourselves regardless of her dramatics.

I would also suggest for your peace of mind you try to engage less with the vitriol this woman has for you - I know it's tempting but she clearly has a screw loose. It shouldn't be unreasonable to ask your sisters not to show you the messages / report back what she says about you in future. The less you think and know about this woman the better.

I think it’s that OP wants to ruin the first wife’s Christmas…

Hmm.

OP, I don’t think you’re bothered about this because your Dad wants to have all of you together on Christmas Day.

I think you’d like to punish your Dad’s first wife by making her spend Christmas Day on her own, without her daughters and grandchild.

Perhaps you should examine your motives a bit more honestly.

Oh, and if this is true (which I doubt) and your “d”f would throw a roast dinner you’d cooked in the bin bc he’d rather sit and mope over his microwave meal then he is an abusive piece of shit.

Are you taking any of this in OP?

Just to recap you want your sisters’ mum to die so that your sisters will spend Christmas with your dad… yea YABU. They’re adults now and they can choose to do that now and they have decided against it….

Only because he allows it; if he celebrated, instead of throwing food in the bin because 'it's not worth it', she couldn't. Not that I think she is. How old are you OP? Do you have a partner?

I’m not sure how anyone can defend a woman who threatens to slit their wrists if their children decide to spend time with their father on any given day of the year. She sounds so bitter and unhappy.. and awful.

I don’t think anyone is defending the woman - simply saying they can understand why the sisters wouldn’t want to leave her alone at Christmas, if that was the case.

What most people seem to be agreeing on though is that the father is a pathetic, miserable, victim-complexy wanker to be running his new wife and other DD’s Christmas for however many years bc “he can only enjoy Christmas if his other DD’s are there too”. I don’t believe a word of it. And if it is true and this loser of a man eventually did get his other DD’s round on Christmas Day I bet he’d find something else to be miserable about.

It sounds to me like he just enjoys ruining yours and your dm’s Christmas OP.

You and your dad sound very petulant over this. You can choose to have a good time you know.

I get it OP. I know plenty of grown adults who are totally controlled by their mothers, and wouldn’t dare go against their wishes
because of the emotional manipulation that would come their way if they did.

That said, your dad is choosing to mope over this and he could choose not to.

Have you thought of moving your family celebration to Christmas Eve or even the Sunday before Christmas so everyone is still fresh? You could then have very chilled low expectation Boxing Day together.

This sounds very dramatic tbh! Lots of people never spend Christmas Day with their siblings, children or parents. I cannot remember the last time I spent Christmas Day with my siblings or parents. Maybe 20 years ago or more.

Fabulous drip drip drip feed in this thread. Get over yourself.

I’m not sure how anyone can defend a woman who threatens to slit their wrists if their children decide to spend time with their father on any given day of the year. She sounds so bitter and unhappy.. and awful.

I can only imagine how sick and bored you are of this still being a ‘thing’ decades later.
you are entitled to think and feel any way you want.
I just hope you can understand why your sisters are they way they are and make the choices they do so that all of this doesn’t spillover and cause more damage for you all..

Why not move your day to Christmas eve instead of boxing day? Solves the problem of hungover sisters

How old are you all? I assume you're still very young if you have two sisters over 15 years older than you, and there's so far only one grandchild... And your whole life you've had a terrible Christmas because your dad sulks because his elder daughters choose to spend it with their mum instead of him? And they are choosing - they must presumably be well into their 30s, they really are very capable of telling their mother that they want a Christmas with their father if they want to. They don't want to.

My brother lived abroad for years, I would be very upset if my parents had decided to half-arse Christmas with packet roasts and bored expressions as they felt there was no point making the effort for just me! If this is all true, it's really not ok. Your dad's ex might be a nightmare, though it would in fairness be pretty shit for her to be all alone while her kids leave her to see their father, who has a whole new family. But your father's behaviour is absolutely shocking, what a dreadful way to treat you and your mum! You deserve a proper Christmas too, and if that means you and your mum cook a roast and eat it between just the two of you whilst he sulks and has a bag of crisps, tough!

How old are you OP?

Good god, what a boring non-problem to be so worked up about. Why don’t you just have a nice Christmas Day with your mum so that your dad doesn’t ruin it with his misery? Is he really intent on wasting the rest of his christmases feeling sorry for himself about not spending the day with his daughters? Have another ‘family day’ at some other point in the year. Wicked ex-wife needn’t know anything about it

I've got multiple (young) children and so have accepted that when they grow up, I might not get to see them all on the same day at the same time, just due to them having their own lives and families. This is the case for lots of people. I know some parents whose children live in other countries - and stay there for Christmas!

I can't see it being that big a deal. And what I absolutely would not do is throw a tantrum and cast a black mood over the child who is there. Your dad is behaving awfully towards you and your mum.

You have your non celebration then.......why not eat gruel? Ready made, of course.

His daughters are adults now so can choose. Invite them next year

It's very clear you resent her; I'm sure she knows it too.
If she didn't exist, nor would your half sisters.
Your father doesn't have a 'whole family' as he has two.
Why just a ready made meal? Makes you feel more of a victim?

Where is your mum in all of this? Apologies if I missed it.

having bad thoughts is human - it doesn’t make you an evil person. Try and grasp what you can and enjoy time with your Dad.

Why would your roast get binned?

Surely this is a wind up? 😂

A much more succinct way of saying what I was trying to say - he needs to stop being a mard arse and ruining yours and your dm’s Christmas. What an arse.