To be thinking something so awful?

We have a small ready made roast and that’s it.

Sorry OP, but that did make me laugh.

This

So your dad sulks his way through Christmas every year, ruining it for you and your mum? His ex wife is clearly dreadful, but he sounds like a wet mop too, and he is the reason that your Christmases are miserable every year.

I presume they are adults and nake their own decisions

WTF are you on about 🤣🤣 my kids are perfectly capable of going to relatives on Boxing Day. If it’s fun, they enjoy it. Likewise with adults. If you’re all doom a gloom about “missing the magic” then of course nobody wants to be there!!

Cant you read?

I don’t think that anyone here is denying that threatening to slit one’s wrists is a vile awful way to treat one’s children. I’m sorry your Dads ex wife is so horrid to her own children, and so desperately manipulative. She must be very insecure indeed, and that must be very distressing for your half sisters.

However, everyone here is point out to you that you can’t stop her from doing so. You have zero control over what she does AND zero control over how your half sisters react.

what all the mumsnetters are trying to show you is that you/ your dad DO have control over how you react! That you can make merry your own way. Your Dad is literally cutting off his nose to spite his face and making xmas day a sad “precooked” event in your house. you and your dad only have control over what you do, and how you choose to act and it’s bewildering for the rest of us that he chooses to wallow in his sad feelings rather than celebrate what he does have

My children were 3 and 2 when their father left. They are now 33 and 31, both married and living a few minutes from me and my second husband ( together 24 years). They have never, ever spent a Christmas day with their father. He didn't decorate or make it special and was ALWAYS hung over and then drunk again by Christmas day lunchtime. He was a miserable sod. Children tend to want to avoid miserable sods. Your father could make Boxing Day fabulous for you all and you and his second wife could have a wonderful day with him on Christmas day. He is choosing to go around in a black cloud of self pity.

Vile. You’ve clearly not lost anyone to be able to say that so freely. And I hope your sisters never hear you say that. Agree with everyone here, your father needs to grow up. People don’t see each other other on Christmas Day - that’s life. Have a nice day, celebrate what you have. Or celebrate on another day, whatever

My father has a lot of us kids, different relationships. He’s never seen all of us on one day for any occasion. Thinking about it the last time he spent a full Christmas Day with me I was a young child. The last time I saw a parent or even a sibling on Christmas Day was about 15years ago.

Your father needs to get over this as do you and why shouldn’t his first wife see her children on the day? I don’t understand why it even bothers you?

I completely get you. MN sometimes decides to pile on against someone for no bloody reason, I think once a couple of similar responses are in, the bots kick in and the whole thing becomes silly.
of course your father and yourself have the right of having proper chistmas on chistmas day at least once, and that if she’s saying all those things including threats of withdrawing support or stopping medication etc is horribly manipulative. I’m sure loads of posters here would be very upset to miss ALL Christmas mornings of the small children in the family. I would prob have bad thoughts in your situation, nothing to be ashamed of, it’s not like you’re plotting a murder ffs

You shouldn’t be getting this mentally involved with your dad’s drama.

She throws herself into hosting - with a ready meal? Really?

What about claiming New Year's Day ?
Surely the psycho ex wife can cope with that. She seems to dominate her 2 daughters who should have stood up to her long ago.

It sounds like you have a situation which you feel is currently impossible to change.

You also sound like you a very hurt by her unfair blame.

Is there any possibility you could find a way to support you DDad (and bereaved DMum) to start a new tradition on Christmas Day which you all may value? For example, my parents are dead and due to issues there is little contact with my family. To make Christmas special my tiny family volunteer to help others.
Boxing Day may not be the idealised day, but you are with family, showing them love.

You and your dad need to let it go. ‘Christmas magic’ is mainly just a big myth. The kids can be cranky from the minute they get up. Have fun and enjoy what you have rather than being resentful and jealous.

Boxing Day isn't such a bad deal, but anyway it's up to the daughters now, rather than the ex. They may feel your dad has you so it's fair they be with her on C'mas day.

I think you are upping the drama of this too much.

I fail to see this issue when he sees them on Boxing Day instead and he gets Christmas with you. I think it's your dad that is being selfish by spoiling your Christmas every year over this.

What age are you OP?

Whether they spend Christmas day or Boxing day all together is much of a muchness.
You're not the Waltons.

It's really not that confusing.
OP and her mum and dad have a sad little Xmas with a ready made roast because drama queen dad is still performatively grieving not having his first family for FORTY years.
Her HALF sisters (not stepsisters) spend Christmas with their mother and families.
They all spend boxing day together but they're still not happy because the half sisters are hungover and the kid is a nightmare and annoying dad is still whining because he's not getting his hallmark movie style perfect family meal, while OP is fashioning voodoo dolls of her sisters mother and hoping she dies.

They all need a good shake to be honest. Some people have actual problems.

Sorry but this is absolute self absorbed bullshit. If your dad ( their dad) created a warm, welcoming home they'd be there like a shot and Boxing Day would be the day they looked forward to the most. It doesn't matter what the day is called, it matters how it feels. You've said yourself that your sisters don't want to be there and would rather be at home. If they wanted to have a fabulous day on Boxing Day they'd not drink too much the day before. You sound like my SILs family....drama , drama, drama. Hugely tedious.

This is all very very OTT. The ex wife is obviously awful - but her karma will come in the damage that these theatrics and controlling manners do to her relationship with her kids. Your father needs to chill out and not be so convinced he is missing out on some weird magic. You need to relax and stop fighting other people’s battles / getting so her up about something like this. If you don’t like Boxing Day - just do Christmas Eve instead - on most the continent that’s the “real” day anyway.

After this very long thread I'm still confused.

1st wife and 2 daughters, grandchild spend Christmas day together, correct? No dad there. Event lasts all day with much drinking.

Christmas day is lacking info... do you spend it with your mum, dad? Have a roast? Do you live at home with mum and dad, or are you hosting at yours?

Boxing day is another dinner, but at whose house? You say 'we do a re-do', but is it at your mum and dads, with step sisters and their DH's and son? I'm thinking they shouldn't be hungover at dinner time... can you have a later dinner?

Or just do Christmas Eve with your mum, dad and stepsisters? How does your mum feel about all this, assuming she is hosting.

Maybe she doesn't even need to be told it's happening?

This is not just on the mum. Your sisters can say no to her. It's mad that everyone is moping over this.
If boxing day is such an issue, with hangovers etc why not make it Christmas Eve? Or any other day?