To be thinking something so awful?

😂 You’re letting your dad ruin every Christmas you have and you’d rather that than let him spend Christmas Day on his own. Why would they feel any differently about their mum?

You started off sounding frustrated and upset, but really just having a vent. You’ve now notched it up to sounding bonkers and taking your dad and their mum with you. Your poor sisters. I wouldn’t answer the door to a single one of you.

Because that's the day she wants and her family go along with it. Would I prefer xmas day sure but it's not the end of the world, certainly isn't ruining my life.
It should be your sisters that you are annoyed at, they are making the choice to spend the day with her.

Because it's clearly what your sisters want.

They don't even want to drink a bit less so they can enjoy Boxing Day with their dad without being hungover.

This is their choice, not their mother's.

They simply don't want to see him on Christmas Day and if I were you, I wouldn't either due to the way he treats you.

Seriously @iamsoashamedofmyself I’m started to understand why your sisters go to their mums; you and your dad both sound a bit joyless to be honest. I can practically hear the chains of doom clanging…

And I say this with kindness. You only have your dad’s side of the argument on this. You can never know the full picture

Invite her too if your Dad is in such turmoil about it. I would never ever leave my Mum alone on Christmas Day. Never. Kudos to the older sisters for not leaving her.

Your dad is so unreasonable. I understand hes upset at not having his 2 eldest with him on Christmas day but he should not let that ruin his day with the people who are there. You and your mum. If anything, it should make him appreciate you all the more.

As a mother, I would never allow my mood to affect my children's Christmas. I get up and paint on a smile, no matter how im feeling. Thats what parents do. They put their children's happiness first. Im sorry your dad cant do that for you.

You are right about the first wife being awful, but your dad is no better.

Think about it OP. In years to come are you going to subject your own children to your dad's miserable attitude on Christmas? Or are you going to stay away because you dont want to ruin their day?

I don’t come from a spilt family, but it’s rare we can can all get together on Christmas Day. We just have another Christmas Day a few days later. Twice the fun!

You are all being ridiculous. Christmas isn’t one day. It’s a season. Celebrate on the day that suits you. What the hell would any of these parents do if their children wanted a quiet Christmas at home or had to work
shift work or moved to the other side of the country or Australia. You all need to grow up

I’m sorry it’s upsetting you all so much, but it does all sound a little bit dramatic? We have two celebrations in my family due to circumstances, and the Boxing Day meal is just as much fun tbh (I go to both every year) and despite the children’s ages ranging from 1 to 9 none of them are tired & grumpy on Boxing Day, nor are any of the adults hungover and miserable? It kind of feels like you’re all determined not to have a good time on either of the days.

This is just what happens with split families though isn’t it? If I was one of the elder daughters, I wouldn’t want to leave my Mum alone, especially when my Dad has gone on to remarry and have more children (the OP).

When marriages break down, you kinda kiss goodbye to the wholesome family sitting down on Christmas Day with all the kids from different marriages all tucking in to the turkey together. When he decided to impregnate more than one woman it’s kind obvious Christmas routine will change for both himself and the different sets of children. It’s rare Fathers can have all their children there on Christmas Day - especially in this instance when the first wife is alone. Surely you can see that they can’t leave their Mum on Christmas Day. Would your Mum and Dad consider inviting the first wife to join you all?

If your Dad has had forty years of it, you think he’d be used to it by now - is he still genuinely heartbroken that he sees adult children on Boxing Day? It’s not like they’re toddlers and he’s missing them opening presents. They’re grown women.

As a parent, having one of my children with me would be enough to make me happy. As long as I know the others are okay

I'm a step mum to two adults DDs. We have never had them visit us on Christmas day because their mother displays the same behaviour and has the same mental health struggles as you dad's ex wife.

My DH has never ever sulked or created a bad atmosphere on Christmas day because he was sad they weren't here. He's happy because they are happy and is content that additional stress is not being added to them in an emotional tug of war.

Your dad is not being fair to you or his wife. You've bought into the narrative that he is a victim but he isn't and he really isn't being kind or fair to his wife and youngest daughter.

Him sulking is not being reasonable whatever way you look at it and you need to take a step back from the situation. You and his wife should be enough.

YABU on so many levels. Wishing someone dead is vile, but wishing them dead because of one day is beyond. My DH has to work xmas day so we've always celebrated on boxing day. It's life.
As someone else said it's the day not date. 25th is arbitrary, no reason why you can't do presents, dinner with all the trimmings and make core memories (please 🙄) on any other day.

Your dad needs to get over it. Its one day. 30 years of christmas bei g "horrendous" is absolutely ridiculous.

Just do your own Christmas on Christmas Eve. It’s a better day full of anticipation anyway.

I didn't say she was innocent

But your dad has been doing this for FORTY YEARS. He's ruined that many Christmases for you and his wife for no actual reason and you're okay with that?

Eurgh. Stop babying him. He's an adult man who needs to get a grip of himself.

You can't change the Christmas Day arrangements. But why don't you all choose a different day? Have your celebration the Sunday before Christmas? Steal her thunder. Spread the joy. Take the little ones to meet Santa.
That doesn't help you this year but plan ahead for next?

My dh has 2 older kids who always spent Christmas Eve and Christmas Day morning with their mum. Dh never saw them on Christmas morning since the time they split up. It's shit. Even now they are adults they have Christmas Eve and most of the day with their mum.

Your father sounds churlish and childish. It’s only one day, My family all have our own Christmas Day and we meet for dinner in the 26th and have a great time.
There’s nothing stopping your family from having a lovely day on the 26th all together.
Its clear the first wife won’t change and the daughters won’t challenge her on it so move on and plan your own family day together and ditch the petty behaviour

And again, have you ever heard her threatening to slit her wrists?