To be thinking something so awful?

So the solution is that you want her to die??

do you not thing that might mean they won’t be in the right mindset to start celebrating Christmas with your dad as a replacement?
for one they’ll be heartbroken, for 2…they might still not want it with you, their dad and stepmum anyway. Doesn’t sound like they’re too bothered about Boxing Day.

how much time do you all spend together the rest of the year?

Not so much with flu/ cold type things, but if it involves vomiting I’m a huge baby. I’ve hated vomitting since I was a child. Well, I know no one exactly ‘likes’ it, but I have a particular hatred of feeling nauseous and being sick.

Sorry your dad is just as dysfunctional as his ex.

everyone needs to get a grip. It’s just a day.

Your dad needs to stop sulking and you all need to stop letting his first wife "ruin" Christmas. You are all ruining your own Christmas, the day is what you make it.

If she raised them, they should spend Christmas with her -if that's what they want.

So she’s a fucking selfish narcissistic drama queen who emotionally blackmails her adult DC to make sure she gets everything her own way.

I don’t think you’re unreasonable to have those dark thoughts - she sounds hideous and thinks the world should revolve around her.

Is that what your dad tells you?

why? You’re not depriving her of Christmas Day. Win-win?

So every single Christmas Day since before you were born has been spent with your dad sulking and refusing to celebrate, and instead of being annoyed with him for ruining literally every Christmas you have ever known, you are annoyed with his ex wife?

I’m amazed your mum hasn’t divorced him too. I’d have been out of there after year 2, I certainly wouldn’t have entertained this nonsense for 40 years.

Yes, he does, you're just too close to him to see it. It's very sad.

OP, where is your own mum in all this? How does she respond to your dad's behavior? How does she treat YOU on Christmas Day?
There is a huge silence here and I am wondering whether your mother got sick of your father not considering that SHE was good enough to celebrate with and departed!

He's had 40 Christmases to find a way to enjoy himself and make his new family happy and yet wallows and makes everyone miserable?

I think you'd serve him better by telling him to get a grip.

Slightly different scenario but I’m the 2nd wife and my dh has 2 children from his first marriage and we have one together.

Regardless of what your sisters mum has said/done in the past I think your father’s behaviour is terrible. If my dh even dared to say that Christmas wasn’t enough without his other 2 and made our child feel lesser he’d be on his own and spending Christmas with no children. He still celebrates Xmas day with all the cheer and trimmings and sees it as a bonus that we get to celebrate twice, each day is just as special . Yes he’d love my dsc there but for many reasons we’ve had to accept this won’t happen and we don’t wallow we make the best of the situation and that for us means Xmas is 2 days not one.

Disgraceful behaviour from an adult.

It might do, but that doesn't give him carte blanche to treat you and your mum like total shit every single year.

Your dad needs a slap, he's wasted every Christmas being heartbroken and miserable when he really didn't need to. It sounds like he enjoys the misery and the attention it gets him.

Yes I understand it’s unfair but clearly it’s not going to happen, so….crack on?

You have to admit it’s a bit silly ruining Christmas (the season, not the 25th) every year over this. What does your mum think?

Your dad needs to give his head a wobble, so woe is me.

Beat her to it! Have a full Christmas Day on Christmas Eve, complete with midnight mass. Let her have them hungover and tired for once! Then you won’t mind Christmas Day being more subdued, you’ll be full and hungover too🤭