To be thinking something so awful?

Could your dad 'get in first' and have his Christmas day on Christmas eve (next year) and leave his ex wife to have them worn out and hung over !

Sorry, I’ve not rtft but I think your df is at fault here and I’m sure others will say the same.

If he made you and your dm feel “less than”
and as though he couldn’t “have a good Christmas” without his two elder DD’s he sounds like a narcissist with a victim complex and he needs to cop himself on.

Presumably your dsis’s are adults now and still choose to be with their mother?

Ever wondered whether that’s what they’ve chosen all along and use their dm as an excuse— did your df leave them and their dm to start a new family perhaps..?

Good god it’s just Christmas. You all need to get a grip. Who gives a shit about it? It’s one day out of the year

It sounds like she threatens them to make them have Christmas with her by eg stopping all childcare.

@iamsoashamedofmyself why don't you all have a chat about what could be done differently next year. Celebrating with dinner and presents on Christmas Eve is a good idea. Could they come by and you all do Christmas breakfast then they go to their mum.

So you’re blaming your Dad’s fist wife for the fact that he is miserable on Christmas Day and makes it a miserable day for you and your mum? That’s not very fair on you and your mum and quite honestly I’d choose to be somewhere else rather than spend time with someone (or your Dad) who isn’t that fussed about me.

Alternative Christmas days can be loads of fun. Maybe a different day than Boxing Day would be better when the kids aren’t knackered and cranky. I’d get them over on Christmas Eve or the day before.

It’s one day of the year. Just make a fuss of him on Boxing Day. We are a blended family and have 4 Xmases this year and every single one will be special for those who are there. It doesn’t have to be anchored around one day/ one meal

Your half sisters are grown ups and should tell their mother they’d like a Christmas with their dad.

@iamsoashamedofmyself

Look your sisters are buying into this bullshit and so are you.

You actually think she needs to be dead for this to stop. she doesnt.

Your sisters are choosing this.
Your father is choosing to mope around and fuck up everybody else's Christmas (includong your mothers presumably?)
And you are choosing to get sucked into this bullshit....

It's nonsense.

"She neeeeeeds the childcare"

1. Firstly Why the fuck would you leave your most treasured possession with this unhinged loon???? So your child can be brainwashed with this nonsense too... Come on....just pay for it like everywhere fucker
2. There was presumably a point in time where your sister was a grown ass adult and hadn't given birth. She could have said mum this is nonsense then. She didn't....the childcare is a BS excuse
3. The other sister has no babies- what's her excuse?

I also dont get why you dont do "your christmas" either the weekend before or christmas eve....like WHAT exactly is she going to do? Get mad... oh no... 🙄

TAKE MY ADVICE: next year book a long xmas break at The Pig or go abroad and leave these dysfunctional fuckers to it.

What about your mum in all this OP? You and your dad sat there gloomy, because the other kids aren't there? It sounds miserable for her. Can't the two of you cheer up a bit? The other siblings need to take control of their nightmare mum and you need to stop dwelling on it. Have them round pre Christmas instead, go away somewhere as a group of 3 for the week, go to someone else's house for Christmas.. There's nothing you can do about the nightmare ex is there.

Yes I agree, but her adult daughters prefer to spend it with her. Their father has another wife and child to spend it with.

OP and her dad are not exactly making it sound like a fun occasion, are they.

I never see my dad on Christmas Day. I love him loads but my mum looked after us full time bar every other weekend when we stayed with him/the alternate Saturday day when we went out for the day. I’m not sure half the years weekends warrants Christmas Day tbh, not sure if your dad did 50% of the parenting though and it’s unfair in that case. I do agree with PPs though that it’s on his daughters now that they’re adults.

Have your Christmas on christmas eve instead of boxing day than their mum can have the hungover adults and grumpy tired kids

God what a load of melodrama
none of you sound anything less than batshit and attention seeking

I mean, you started out by saying he's not had Christmas with his daughters for 30 years. Then it became 40.

I'm beginning to doubt either your version or the version you've been told here. 50/50 and 3/4.of his salary in maintenance? Come on. This is exaggeration isn't it?

Do it on the 24th then?

Well, yes thats a given

But the only people who can change the current Christmas plans is the daughter's by going to their dads and they don't want to.

So the dad has to change his reaction, slap a smile on his face, count his blessings that he has 3 healthy children and a wife and stop moping and making the day a misery fest

Absolutely. The vast majority of families vaguely alternate Christmas, does this mean every other year or so he would be a childish arsehole about Christmas because they were elsewhere? It amazes me that you cannot see how unreasonable and ridiculous your dad is being here. Christmas is one day. I'm assuming your sisters are very aware of this, and there is always a bit of a 'tone' when they do visit.

Sorry, I didn't notice that!

How on earth did you get that so wrong?

OP, are your sisters not old enough to just tell their mum they want to see their dad on Christmas Day?

either way, sounds like you and your sisters all get on well, so just try and enjoy Boxing Day redo. It sounds fine to me and actually your dad is pretty lucky to have good relationships with 3 daughters who all get on well and now a grandchild too.

Honestly, he sounds almost as bad as her by allowing himself to be so upset about it to the extent it spoils your Christmas too.

It is one day and if he sees everyone the next day he could put all his focus into Boxing Day being the big family celebration. Christmas Day could be a visit to church, volunteering, going on a walk, wearing PJs all day and watching films. He is making it into a bigger deal than it needs to be by not accepting it.

Is it "just" you and your dad on Christmss Day, any other relatives you could spend the day with?

It must have been years and years with these over dramatic and manipulative adults threatening to never be apart from their (adult) children or never being allowed to be with them all.

Same could be said for the mother. She is selfish. If it's about the day, what does it matter if she sees them on Christmas or boxing day. She can't even share Christmas day, she has to have it all. She's a selfish bitch.

Shouldn't have had children with more than one woman then. Bloody hell, OP everyone sounds as miserable as sin here.

Your dad needs to grow a backbone. You're his child too so he needs to treat you all equally.

My dc have differant fathers and imagine the uproar it I said I had to spend Christmas with them separately.

I would have a very firm word with him.If my DF behaved like this I would have cut him off a long time ago.