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Original poster

Shocked at uni drug culture

163 replies

OneGreyCat · 23/12/2025 17:13

AIBU to think this is concerning? DD is really struggling at uni and I’m not sure how worried I should be. She’s at a Russell Group, she’s doing well academically, has friends and is part of societies mainly hockey which she did at school too. She does go out and socialises but she isn’t a massive drinker and has never been into drugs. Which brings me to the issue…the main problem is the drug culture. It’s absolutely everywhere and she’s finding it overwhelming. The people she lives with openly take drugs, have friends over most nights, come back very late even on weeknights, and carry on partying, making noise and doing drugs in the house with strangers who she doesn’t know.

DD told me she doesn’t want to be a killjoy as she doesn’t want to be isolated but she’s exhausted and feels like she can’t escape it. She’s not someone who wants to stay in every night, but she also doesn’t want drugs to be the centre of everything. Has anyone else’s DC struggled with this side of uni life? Is this just something they have to put up with, or is it reasonable to think about reporting it ?

I don’t want to overreact, but I also don’t want to dismiss how unhappy she is. It’s just such a shock to me because when I was at university lots of people smoked cannabis and we knew others were doing class a type drugs but it was a small pocket of people, DD says it’s everywhere for her.

OP posts:
Crabwoman · 23/12/2025 17:32

I was at uni 24 years ago and it was rife then, so no I wouldn't be surprised. That was Russel Group and as PP has said, Leeds, Manchester and Bristol are renowned. Probably Nottingham and Durham as well.

She (you) need to get her moved, and be proactive about finding 'her' crowd.

Original poster
OneGreyCat · 23/12/2025 17:32

Thanks all for your advice. She’s living with different people next year which should be good for her. I think she’s just generally shocked by the openness of it all and the safety aspect. There have been times she said where drug dealers have been in the building, and it’s not just the drugs but the noise than comes with it. She goes out on weekends and sports nights but on random evenings there are people in her kitchen doing drugs and blasting music until 3/4/5am.

OP posts:
Konstantine8364 · 23/12/2025 17:29

She just needs to find her people, hockey was known for being full of really heavy drinkers/people who liked a heavy party. I started uni anti drugs and finished with a healthy appetite for narcotics 🤣 but plenty of people don't do drugs, even in the cities known for it like Manchester. Id say try some other societies and try and make friends with different people off her course so she can live with different people next year.

MargaretThursday · 23/12/2025 17:28

I think it depends on who you hang round with.

When I was at uni, I knew people that did drugs, mostly weed, but never particularly hung about with them.

I asked my dc not very long ago. They are, or recently have been, at uni - mixture, one Russell group, one midrange, one performing arts.
They all said similar to me that yes, they knew people did drugs, again mostly weed, but they didn't really hang round with them so didn't see that much.

We all agreed that we'd have known who to go to if we'd wanted to get drugs, but didn't see that much because they weren't in our normal group hanging around with.

Puskiesauce · 23/12/2025 17:24

This has always been a social issue, not just at uni. She needs to say no. She won't be the only one (although it might seem that way).

FortyDegreeDay · 23/12/2025 17:21

There are certain universities which do have a huge reputation for drug taking: Leeds, Bristol and Manchester, in particular.

DD’s best bet would be to use societies to try and find her tribe around a shared interest or hobby - you mention she has course mates and hockey mates. Perhaps she looks at forming a group with those friends for second year accommodation? First year is always the worst as you’re thrown into a huge group of people with differing backgrounds and interests.

hottentot · 23/12/2025 17:20

This was DD experience (sadly) psychotic episodes included 😳

She lives now lives with other like minded people

FieryA · 23/12/2025 17:20

She won't be isolated as clearly these people are not worth hanging around. It's easy to get caught up with peer pressure, so it's great that your daughter is recognising that she is not interested in this kind of a lifestyle. From my experience, there are also plenty of students who know to have fun without the excesses. She needs to find a better group of friends by expanding her social circle.

JacquesHarlow · 23/12/2025 17:18

I think the whole "Russell Group" thing needs to be forgotten quickly @OneGreyCat . I went to Oxbridge and I still saw drugs.

The Russell Group, while containing those universities, also contains cities like Birmingham, Glasgow, Leeds, Liverpool and Manchester. Those places contain MASSIVE party towns and subcultures for those who are looking for it.

My questions are:

  • Can she move out of her house, break the tenancy and request from uni or others some halls accommodation - or find a group of people she can live with who aren't party goers? I spent my third year "in halls" when everyone else rented a house in Cowley. I lived with girls who didn't really rate me at first as I wasn't as awesomely academic or focused as them, but I knew exactly what I would get from the house and we all ended up on very good terms as we all wanted to focus
  • She should also speak to uni counsellor or anyone else who could support with this. Your daughter sounds lovely, she wants to live well and learn without chaos. It's a good thing - people should and will support it

I hope it all works out for her soon @OneGreyCat

Oioiqueen · 23/12/2025 17:16

Is she in halls or in a student house? She might be able to move if in halls.

Edit: drug culture can be the norm on some courses absolutely. I never really came across it in my social circle. Whilst I'm not pointy about drug use, my friendship circles were mostly none drinking church goers or students with placements.

cestlavielife · 23/12/2025 17:16

She needs to move accomodation. Ask for a,swap
What about next year has she sorted accomodation?
There will be plenty other students not doing drugs and partying

HoneyParsnipSoup · 23/12/2025 17:16

How old are you? Drug taking was rife in my life from the age of about 14. By 20 I was sick of it and never took anything again. This was in the 2000s. Ultimately you just have to kind of wait for everyone to grow out of it, most of my friends did by 25.

Doseofreality · 23/12/2025 17:15

Were you not young once? Everyone was off their face on Ecstasy at Uni in the 90s.

And it makes bit difference whatsoever that it is a Russell Group Uni.