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Original poster

Shocked at uni drug culture

163 replies

OneGreyCat · 23/12/2025 17:13

AIBU to think this is concerning? DD is really struggling at uni and I’m not sure how worried I should be. She’s at a Russell Group, she’s doing well academically, has friends and is part of societies mainly hockey which she did at school too. She does go out and socialises but she isn’t a massive drinker and has never been into drugs. Which brings me to the issue…the main problem is the drug culture. It’s absolutely everywhere and she’s finding it overwhelming. The people she lives with openly take drugs, have friends over most nights, come back very late even on weeknights, and carry on partying, making noise and doing drugs in the house with strangers who she doesn’t know.

DD told me she doesn’t want to be a killjoy as she doesn’t want to be isolated but she’s exhausted and feels like she can’t escape it. She’s not someone who wants to stay in every night, but she also doesn’t want drugs to be the centre of everything. Has anyone else’s DC struggled with this side of uni life? Is this just something they have to put up with, or is it reasonable to think about reporting it ?

I don’t want to overreact, but I also don’t want to dismiss how unhappy she is. It’s just such a shock to me because when I was at university lots of people smoked cannabis and we knew others were doing class a type drugs but it was a small pocket of people, DD says it’s everywhere for her.

OP posts:
simplesimoneatspie · 23/12/2025 21:19

Doseofreality · 23/12/2025 17:15

Were you not young once? Everyone was off their face on Ecstasy at Uni in the 90s.

And it makes bit difference whatsoever that it is a Russell Group Uni.

Edited

Er no…we weren’t!

50notNifty · 23/12/2025 21:14

I think the only relevance of it being RG is that a lot of them will have loads of cash!
It's tough when she does like partying up to a point...I just always drank alongside the drug takers....but you are definitely having a different experience/ on the outside a bit

TheHateIsNotGood · 23/12/2025 21:13

If anywhere is more likely to consume drugs, its Russell Group - simply because they attract students with a bit of money behind them and ergo drugs cost money so-o-o-o......

However there's plenty of students that don't participate in drug-taking as de rigeur and your DD must see them out.

ThisTicklishFatball · 23/12/2025 21:11

I forgot to add that the so-called uni experience is all about drugs and alcohol. Nobody is taking on loans and debt for the study and learning; it’s for the wild culture inside universities that has nothing to do with academics. The so-called independence people like to talk about at university is really just fun fueled by drugs or alcohol. Most parents are very supportive of this, as you can see in this thread.

CaptainMyCaptain · 23/12/2025 21:07

Doseofreality · 23/12/2025 17:15

Were you not young once? Everyone was off their face on Ecstasy at Uni in the 90s.

And it makes bit difference whatsoever that it is a Russell Group Uni.

Edited

Also in the 70s.

TesChique · 23/12/2025 21:05

Lol @ russell group

We'll never stop trying to make that a thing in this country will we?

I went to a russell group. Drugs were fucking rife. The medics were the worst.

Thepeopleversuswork · 23/12/2025 21:02

I was at Manchester University in the 1990s and drugs were ubiquitous. I did partake but I often reflect that if I had wanted to avoid it it would have been hard. One of my close friends there was straight laced, didn’t drink or take anything and found it really oppressive. Looking back on it its actually pretty chilling.

I think moving is a good idea. There will be like-minded folk also want to get away from it.

ThisTicklishFatball · 23/12/2025 21:01

The so-called uni experience has always been awful like this, revolving around drugs and alcohol. Most parents seem to support the drinking and drug culture, and many students do too. People who don’t fit the mold often face bullying and harsh judgment. The culture of bullying that starts in secondary school carries on into university. That’s why I always suggest that people who don’t fit into that mold stay at home and commute if there’s a university nearby. I’m in my early 40s, and my younger siblings and I used to travel 50 minutes each way, join the activities we liked, avoid the party scene entirely, and head home after all our commitments. If my children ever choose to go to university, they’ll live at home and commute. These days, you can work from home and connect with people all over the world online, only joining the parties, clubs, and societies you actually want to be part of, without having to deal with less favorable influences.

Teathecolourofcreosote · 23/12/2025 20:53

OneGreyCat · 23/12/2025 17:32

Thanks all for your advice. She’s living with different people next year which should be good for her. I think she’s just generally shocked by the openness of it all and the safety aspect. There have been times she said where drug dealers have been in the building, and it’s not just the drugs but the noise than comes with it. She goes out on weekends and sports nights but on random evenings there are people in her kitchen doing drugs and blasting music until 3/4/5am.

Does the uni have alcohol free halls? They are popular among the non partying types. You can of course still drink if you want to meet friends in the pub but it's not brought home.

There's usually plenty of movement by this stage of the year so getting a swap shouldn't be that hard.

Hohumdedum · 23/12/2025 20:50

I would have absolutely HATED that.
I didn't experience any drug use at uni because fortunately I found a crowd who were like me and very against drugs. There was a lot of drinking but again I avoided it. Admittedly a lot of my friends were through Church but I knew plenty of people who weren't in to drugs. There must be lots of others like her there somewhere.

I'd be trying everything to find somewhere more peaceful to live!

SatsumaCandlesCloves · 23/12/2025 20:21

Well I was madly into going out but didn't do constant drugs at all bar the odd joint and drank.
I wasn't aware of any other drug taking either

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 23/12/2025 20:15

DoIdriveaVauxhallZafira · 23/12/2025 20:12

What's a shabeen?

Show quote history

Was this Hulme by any chance? Always loads of shabeens there!

DoIdriveaVauxhallZafira · 23/12/2025 20:12

Friendlygingercat · 23/12/2025 17:43

When I was a mature student (1980s) I lived on a very tough council estate. There were shabeens every weekend and drugs were part of the culture. Often you could hear gun shots coming from a notorious club. Break ins and muggings were common. It was a huge culture shock for a middle class woman like myself but I just got used to it. I lived there for 5 years before I moved to a tower block which also had a resident drug dealer.

What's a shabeen?

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 23/12/2025 20:06

OneGreyCat · 23/12/2025 17:32

Thanks all for your advice. She’s living with different people next year which should be good for her. I think she’s just generally shocked by the openness of it all and the safety aspect. There have been times she said where drug dealers have been in the building, and it’s not just the drugs but the noise than comes with it. She goes out on weekends and sports nights but on random evenings there are people in her kitchen doing drugs and blasting music until 3/4/5am.

This is fairly normal for students. It was when l was at uni.

The drugs are what’s keeping them awake all night to have parties. I never went to bed before 6.00am for most of my Saturday nights.

suburberphobe · 23/12/2025 20:01

there are people in her kitchen doing drugs and blasting music until 3/4/5am.

Fucking selfish.

But OP, drugs have been part of uni life since the 1970's. I was in Oxford - not at the university - then and students were taking cocaine then too. Nothing like that awful industry is now. It was niche then.

God knows where they got it from. LSD was the big thing then.

ExtraOnions · 23/12/2025 19:55

I was at Leeds in the mid 90s.. in first year I went out every night, even in 2nd / 3rd year when I was in a shared house we were out 4 nights a week.
lots of booze, and weed .. the worst decison I made were powered by alcohol not drugs
TBH I took more drugs in my home town before I went to Uni .. but it was all rave culture

hottentot · 23/12/2025 19:50

OneGreyCat · 23/12/2025 17:32

Thanks all for your advice. She’s living with different people next year which should be good for her. I think she’s just generally shocked by the openness of it all and the safety aspect. There have been times she said where drug dealers have been in the building, and it’s not just the drugs but the noise than comes with it. She goes out on weekends and sports nights but on random evenings there are people in her kitchen doing drugs and blasting music until 3/4/5am.

This happened to my daughter

She has moved on in her second and third year andvit has been much better

💐It is awful when you live with it all around you. ☹️

Starsea · 23/12/2025 19:47

There was lots of drinking and some drugs when I went to uni. Besides all that I found it utterly draining and uncomfortable living in a house with uni friends. I felt like I could never "switch off", didn't feel I had enough privacy, and too many people coming and going. I enjoyed going out about once a week, but 2-3 times (which was the norm) was exhausting and it was hard to escape it without socially excluding yourself.

Maybe it's the drugs, but maybe it's just the heavy emphasis on socialising which isn't for everyone.

MaidOfSteel · 23/12/2025 19:37

Doped up, random strangers in the flat could post all sorts of dangers. I’d be looking into getting your daughter moved, if at all possible, OP.

And I’m 😮that people are so relaxed about drug use! I’m glad to have led a sheltered life in that respect.

27pilates · 23/12/2025 19:23

SelfRaisingFlour · 23/12/2025 17:44

I know of a student, who moved halls to avoid the first lot of druggy flatmates. She doesn't have to stay there.

^
exactly this.

autumn1610 · 23/12/2025 19:19

OneGreyCat · 23/12/2025 17:40

Also is it normal that they go to parties/out drinking heavily 5/6 times a week? DD goes out weekly for sport social activities and usually either friday or Saturday night as well. She does have the money to go out more but doesn’t want to more than 2/3 nights a week but feels pressured as her flat are out much more often and she doesn’t want to feel ‘left out’. I’ve told her to do what she wants to do but I think she’s feeling the peer pressure especially as a couple of them have remarked that she would enjoy uni more if she went out more often.

At school DD was one of the people who went out regularly and does like to drink in moderation, so I think it’s come as a shock to her the intensity of uni.

We used to go out up to 5 times a week as minimum it was probably Mon-Weds and then whatever else’s was happening. So I would say it is very normal. Less likely to go out at the weekend than in the week. My group were mostly drinkers though and not drugs but in terms of the times 1am was an early night. One of my housemates regularly did coke and on the odd occasion we took pills very very easy to get hold of. Between the 6 people in my house I would say someone was out every night apart from Sunday. In first year I lived with someone who basically failed first year because he was so stoned all the time and need up basically being nocturnal

ScaryM0nster · 23/12/2025 19:18

It sounds like she’s found herself in a party minded flat / accommodation. There will be social groups around that dont have that. She may need to slightly shift her social circles to move into one Thats she’s more comfortable with.

It’s also worth having a chat with student welfare, there may well be a way to move accommodation without penalties if this is the issue.

Homepizza · 23/12/2025 19:11

Dd is in halls that are nothing like that. Maybe because most of them are on a course where they’d lose their place if found to use drugs. But they’re just nice people who study hard maybe go out Friday and Saturday but don’t keep the others awake. Why not ask to move to a quieter hall?

Blueskiesnotgrey · 23/12/2025 19:09

Everyone at my RG uni (Edinburgh), as well as friends at other unis some not even RG!) THAT I KNEW was massively into the rave scene in the 90s, but I'm sure there were plenty of people who weren't into that scene. I can't believe every student in her year, including international students, Muslims, students that live at home etc are all the same.

Staringintothevoid616 · 23/12/2025 19:04

Doseofreality · 23/12/2025 17:15

Were you not young once? Everyone was off their face on Ecstasy at Uni in the 90s.

And it makes bit difference whatsoever that it is a Russell Group Uni.

Edited

Were they? There was one girl on our corridor who did ecstacy and everyone knew about it and were quite shocked, she also disappeared for a few weeks with a band..no one I knew did drugs, everyone got drunk in cider. This was what is now a Russel group uni