Shocked at uni drug culture

Being “raised correctly” and taking drugs are not mutually exclusive.

My ds went to LSE. There were lots of people who did drugs. DS never did (we are south Asian and raised him correctly). But there was no pressure whatsoever. Nobody would judge anyone for not drinking, not smoking or not doing drugs. DS was offered once and declined.

He drank a bit on nights out but never took any illegal substance, he was too scared of dieing.

I think your daughter has had a culture shock. Drugs are rife everywhere these days no matter how many people on MN protest it doesn’t happen in their circles.

She just needs to find her circle.
For most people I know drugs were a normal part of uni life.

But not for me (sadly….).
I was in a group of students (mainly foreign) none of whom took drugs. Not even the odd joints.

I actually wish I had had more experience with the drugs and dance scene when I was young.

Sounds like we are in agreement then.

I don’t know anyone who didn’t do drugs at university. And that was in the 80’s.

I didn't go to uni but when I was late teens and twenties (20 years ago) every single party or night out I went on was full of people taking drugs. Every. Single. One.
Different social circles and types of people, different classes, work colleagues etc. I get pretty confused on here when people are disgusted and horrified at the thought of taking drugs. It was completely the norm in my younger days, and I'm pretty sure every parent of these people would swear blind their child wouldn't dream of it but they all were.
I used to be the only one who didn't take anything then eventually tried some when I was about 23.
I would suggest your daughter finds a way to move out, if like me you see it so much, even after years of saying no, she may eventually try some. Not that that would be the end of the world but its not good for her to get into.

That isn’t what I said, though. I was responding to a poster asking why parents still wanted their children to go to university. That’s one obvious reason. To train for something that can’t be done any other way. Other reasons are available.

Not always. Lots of degrees don't lead directly to professions.

I wonder though if drug taking is general across all courses or if there is more of it in certain courses. A PP has said that DD is on a course that would throw out drug users - would that be something like medicine or law?
Lots of my DCs friends are at uni and are not taking drugs and still having a great time. It's definitely possible!

@Blinkingbother I agree that some degrees may not lead to many career options. My DD is doing a STEM degree as she wants to work in an area that needs specialist scientific knowledge. She’ll need a graduate degree too. 🤷

Because they want to train for professions that require degrees, often more than one. Three is a minimum for my job. There’s no way of becoming a doctor, say, other than by going to university.

I think she may find that the peer pressure and overall roundness calms down a lot over time - the first term people tend to overcompensate to prove they are having fun. Just keep encouraging her to look for real friendships and not feel pressured into a lifestyle she doesn’t want to- it sounds like her flatmates aren’t her natural peeps so she should try and proactively meet others.

My point!!

I find it amazing that people still want their kids to go to uni - why bother getting into fuck loads of debt for a, more often than not, shitty degree (unis are so strapped for cash many depts struggle to educate effectively) and on top of all that employers are waking up to the realisation that employment experience is often more valuable. A job with professional development opportunities is worth far more by comparison and you don’t come out owing 50 odd k!

I went to Oxford in the 90s. Lorryloads of drugs around.

I would also say that if this is her first term at uni, it's possible things might settle down a bit over the rest of the year. The first term is when everyone's finding their feet and going wild because they've suddenly got a bit of freedom

I was thinking the same @BauhausOfEliott. My DD’s in her third year and people have become more focused with every term that passes.

Is the idea better unis have less drug use?

They work in PT jobs around their studies. I’m an academic and one of my most party animal students in a former job was also up at the crack of dawn six days a week mucking out horses in a livery. She must often have not got any sleep in between. She also got a first.

Having a close friend whose dds life has been ruined by drug taking including psychosis and an in patient stay I'm Amazed by the attitude of many on this thread.

She still Doesn't work aged 29 an is now on a cocktail Of prescription mental health meds. Is that what you want for your kids?

In my experience at uni it was the kids who hadn’t been out much at school who were the ones out partying more. I had had a gap year and wasn’t finding the fact you could drink a novelty and felt some of them a bit immature tbh - esp if they had had parents who didn’t let them drink so then they went wild at uni.

I didn’t have any friends who did drugs though and I was in a city Russell group uni. I would suggest moving accommodation. She shouldn’t need to put up with the dealers etc

My DD had this in her first term at uni.

her flat was a mix of students with disabilities and two drug taking party animals who invited the whole nightclub back at 3am.

the rows and drama were insane.

at Christmas, one of the party animals dropped out (apparently hadn’t bothered going to any lectures or doing any assignments), a student with autism moved into supported accommodation to get away from the flat, my DD moved into a specialist accommodation for students in a wheelchair and the other party animal moved into a space in her friend’s flat which had opened up.

apparently the rest of the year was very quiet.

the non party animals subsequently bonded in their hatred of drug taking muppets and got a house together for the second and third year.

No one I knew took drugs at uni (25 years ago)

If my roommates had I'd have called the police immediately

Your daughter will find her people, keep the faith

Agree

What a bunch of wasters they sound. Pathetic people who cant enjoy life without drugs.
You should be proud of your daughter. She sounds like shes git her head screwed on.

I would try and move accommodation to be with more similar people.

DD is at university and hasn't mentioned anyone taking drugs there (and I didn't know anyone who did at mine in the 1990s) though she does go to a lot of social events in the evening to early hours. She told me before about there being a lot of ketamine use at her sixth form and at the village comp before then so think she would say if there was. She did hear about lots of ketamine use at one university and refused to put it on ucas. Its a university with a very good reputation but known for parties and rich students down south. She also had a friend at Bristol and he was partying every night, no drugs involved for him, but next-level every night partying - private school background and sensible, fairly strict parents, partied at sixth form but went up several levels on leaving home.