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Original poster

AIBU to think this is quite strange?!

63 replies

BengalBangle · 23/12/2025 16:16

For context, I'm Autistic, so had a lifetime of being the strange one, but wanted to check this out to see if IABU...

Most boring story in the world ever, my Mum who is not my Mum (friend who is 25 years older than me, whom I became a '2nd daughter to' because she lost her adult daughter and I lost my Mother at around the same time) sent me as a Christmas present slippers I sent her 3 years ago!

They were bloody lovely, expensive slippers and I'm not upset she didn't use them (some long story about them not feeling right), but what is the logic in sending them back to me?!

Asking as, am I'm wondering whether it's my Autistic brain, or is this weird?!

OP posts:
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T1Dmama · 26/12/2025 12:56

BengalBangle · 23/12/2025 16:45

I sent them to her 3 years ago. She'd asked for the same brand and style as mine, which are very expensive and recommended for people with our foot conditions.
I don't care about her not wearing them. I care about her telling me 3 years later that they did not work and they are my Christmas present.

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It’s weird and upsetting!

Do you see her much? Are you close?

Maybe she saw you as a daughter replacement for a little while to help her grieve but is now backing out of the relationship and making it more just like generational friendships?

Did she send them to you knowing it was you who had gifted to her or do you think she’d forgotten they were from you? Your posts make it sound a little like she actually wrote in the present that she was regifting them back to you

T1Dmama · 26/12/2025 12:39

Thirstygherkin · 23/12/2025 16:20

No she’s not regifted

she has told the op they don’t work for her so she’s sent them back.

She has probably she just come across them after putting them in a cupboard!

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OP said

”sent me as a Christmas present slippers I sent her 3 years ago!”

so she has regifted… but back to the person that originally bought them for her!

T1Dmama · 26/12/2025 12:39

Thirstygherkin · 23/12/2025 16:20

No she’s not regifted

she has told the op they don’t work for her so she’s sent them back.

She has probably she just come across them after putting them in a cupboard!

Show quote history

OP said

”sent me as a Christmas present slippers I sent her 3 years ago!”

so she has regifted… but back to the person that originally bought them for her!

T1Dmama · 26/12/2025 12:38

Thirstygherkin · 23/12/2025 16:20

No she’s not regifted

she has told the op they don’t work for her so she’s sent them back.

She has probably she just come across them after putting them in a cupboard!

Show quote history

OP said

”sent me as a Christmas present slippers I sent her 3 years ago!”

so she has regifted… but back to the person that originally bought them for her!

Rednotdead · 25/12/2025 12:52

Just laugh it off and wear the “bloody lovely, expensive slippers”.

Cherrysoup · 25/12/2025 12:06

Was she aware you gave them to her in the first place but thought you’d get use as they’re specific for the foot condition you both have? Either way, it’s a bit odd to re-gift stuff. I’m amazed at how often this appears to happen.

RaininSummer · 25/12/2025 10:57

Sending them to you as your Christmas present is weird so I assume she forgot that you gave them to her. At least you like them.

QuizNight · 25/12/2025 10:53

I initially thought that she’d forgot that they came from you but I actually think she thought they’d be the perfect gift for you as she knows they are expensive and the kind you use. I’m not sure how she missed the etiquette of not gifting back but she probably thought that they belong to her and so she’s technically giving something of hers to you (even if it came from you in the first place).

I don’t know how to vote as you’re definitely not being unreasonable to find it strange as it definitely is. A bit unreasonable to care so much that you gave it so much thought it led to you posting on here about it. I’m intrigued what you gifted her this year as I’m nosy.

CautiousLurker2 · 24/12/2025 21:00

My experience as an AuDHD person (recently diagnosed) but mum of 2 AuDHD almost-adult kids is that… we tend to attract other ND people into our circle.

So, yes, what she did is strange. To NT’s probably ‘rude’. But the fact is she valued your gift, and the giftor, sufficiently not to regift or to donate to charity.

I’d both accept it was a bit strange - and smile with a bit of humour that cared enough that she returned it.

User7854653 · 24/12/2025 20:54

How old is she? Could honestly be the start of dementia. Usually manifests as slightly odd behaviour years before serious issues begin.

gamerchick · 24/12/2025 20:48

She's forgotten where they came from.

You must have liked them to buy them. Enjoy your new slippers.

GhostsJulianforPrimeMinister · 24/12/2025 20:47

Yes I can confirm strange .. Happy Christmas 🎄

Purlant · 24/12/2025 20:45

Well she knew you had a pair and loved them, maybe she thought you could get some use out of them?

tommyhoundmum · 24/12/2025 20:40

acacia333 · 23/12/2025 23:46

My stepmother regifts stuff to me at Christmas that I’ve given her and my dad over the years quite regularly. One was a scarf I’d given 12 years previously and in the original (battered) box but she’d tried it on first because had lots of dog hairs on!
I also get stuff she’s clearly been given from others & bargain basement stuff collected throughout the years, all generic like bath bomb sets or candle from Aldi. Not a money issue as they’re well off with second home, designer clothes and expensive hobbies etc
I have asked my dad, politely, not to get me anything at Christmas many times but to no avail - I think he has no idea what she’s wrapping up to give me on their behalf! Don’t want to appear ungrateful but it does sting a little!

I don't know why people don't just give things to a charity shop

Jane143 · 24/12/2025 20:22

BengalBangle · 23/12/2025 16:45

I sent them to her 3 years ago. She'd asked for the same brand and style as mine, which are very expensive and recommended for people with our foot conditions.
I don't care about her not wearing them. I care about her telling me 3 years later that they did not work and they are my Christmas present.

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Don’t feel bad. She sounds caring. Probably thought they’d be good and quickly realised they weren’t, so gave them back to you as she knew u liked them and had spent a lot of money on them. Be happy you have her in your life and she is thinking of you at Christmas x

Oldwmn · 24/12/2025 19:06

But what did MIL do?

angelfacecuti75 · 24/12/2025 16:56

I don't think yabu. But if she is a nice lady otherwise , don't let it ruin your relationship. And maybe take it as a win that you now don't have to buy another pair of expensive slippers for yourself. She probably forgot u bought them 4 her. Sorry for the abbreviations ...I can't be arsed lol.

Stanislas · 24/12/2025 14:33

Apologies. Mil told dear godmother that she had sent a present previously given. Godmother was very distressed and so was I because I thought godmother was strapped for cash and we could easily and discreetly helped out instead of embarrassing the lady. I am showing my old age.

Eyeshadow · 24/12/2025 10:58

It may be that she bought the same ones to give to you, knowing that you like them.

Or it may be that she keeps a cupboard of unwanted presents and then re-gifts them (which many people do) but forgot that it was you that gave them to her.

So yes it’s a bit weird but I don’t think she thought too much about it and so I’d just forget it.

Halloweeeeeeeeen · 24/12/2025 10:43

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 24/12/2025 10:00

I'd guess she told the godmother where the gift had come from in the first place, resulting in embarrassment all round?

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I think it’s that she stole the idea of giving a voucher

HappyShortFuse · 24/12/2025 10:39

What a bonus for you. Slippers that you love and will wear = a brilliant gift. It sounds like she has forgotten you gave them to her and regifted them to you (an unfortunate mistake). I’d forget it and enjoy my new slippers.

luckylavender · 24/12/2025 10:10

Have I missed if you’re the same size?

AMurderofMurderingCrows · 24/12/2025 10:06

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 24/12/2025 10:00

I'd guess she told the godmother where the gift had come from in the first place, resulting in embarrassment all round?

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Thank you 😊 I don't know what i expected but that's a bit of a let down 😂😂

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 24/12/2025 10:00

AMurderofMurderingCrows · 24/12/2025 09:56

WHAT DID THE MIL DO?????

I'd guess she told the godmother where the gift had come from in the first place, resulting in embarrassment all round?

AMurderofMurderingCrows · 24/12/2025 09:56

WHAT DID THE MIL DO?????