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AIBU?

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Does anyone else turn into a pathetic mess when poorly?

44 replies

JulietSierra · 23/12/2025 15:17

I’ve read on here about the dressing gown of doom that many men put on when poorly, but in my house I’m the pathetic one when unwell.

Ive succumbed to the lurgy that’s been flying round my school. I’m not ill, just full of cold with a headache and intermittent temperature. But I’m feeling so sorry for myself and have moaned for the last 4 days. My health anxiety is raging that it’ll turn into pneumonia and I’ve just splashed 30 quid on a jar of manuka honey in the vain hope that it will help.

Dh on the other hand would hardly even notice if he had these symptoms. He’d carry on completely as normal. Last time he had a cold, the only acknowledgment he gave it was to sing that he was in ‘Bogey Wonderland’ (to the tune of Boogie Wonderland) and gave the gym a miss for a couple of days.

I really wish I could give myself a good shake and change my attitude. I’m such a wet blanket. Anyone else as pathetic as me??

OP posts:
JulietSierra · 23/12/2025 16:43

SillyNavyTiger · 23/12/2025 16:20

are you a man?😂

No!!!!! Definitely not! 😂

OP posts:
Endofyear · 23/12/2025 16:37

No I'm pretty stoic, usually pop some heavy duty cold and flu medicine and get on with it - I have 5 kids and DH worked away most of the time they were growing up so I didn't have much choice really! Now they're grown up, I do take it easy if I feel under the weather but I can't remember the last time I was actually in bed ill!

Purplebunnie · 23/12/2025 16:30

You can get inoculated against pneumonia. It cost about £70 some years back. You can get it free on NHS once you reach a certain age and apparently that has some other things in it so worth getting the two

SilverPink · 23/12/2025 16:24

Nope. Im stoic. I hate being ill and any kind of sympathy and attention. I grit my teeth and get on with it. DH always says I’m like the sheep in the field that keels over and dies rather than complaining.

SillyNavyTiger · 23/12/2025 16:20

are you a man?😂

spicycats · 23/12/2025 16:19

Not usually, with colds etc. I just crack on, but I just can’t cope at all with having a headache

zingally · 23/12/2025 16:18

I feel you.
I've had this bloody cold since last Tuesday. I thought I was turning a corner on Saturday, but it's stayed stubbornly as bad for the past 3 days, with no improvement. Super-snotty and completely bunged up, I've been using the nasal decongestant spray, which works for a few hours, but does nothing to subdue the snot-river, despite its claims!
I haven't been able to enjoy any of the Christmas choccies or crisps yet, as my taste and smell is messed up. Very sad.
The first of the visitors arrive tomorrow morning, so I'm planning a hot bath and early night, and hoping for the best.

Apart from throwing some bleach down the toilets earlier, I've got none of the cleaning/tidying jobs done that I wanted to do today. Boooo.

JulietSierra · 23/12/2025 16:16

Crunchymum · 23/12/2025 16:07

Usually no but this particular illness had my crying over my laptop earlier (I am day 9 and still feeling awful, in fact I've given up actually believing I'll get better and now I'm in full on pathetic and sad mode)

I did log on to work and was only meant to do a half day, couldn't even manage that.

Praying for a miracle recovery tomorrow as I'm so over it all now.

Sorry you’re feeling so rotten, hope you turn a corner very soon.
When I’m unwell I really do worry that I’ll never feel well again. I get so sad. I think it’s my anxiety that’s the real issue to be honest. Sick of myself.

OP posts:
Crunchymum · 23/12/2025 16:07

Usually no but this particular illness had my crying over my laptop earlier (I am day 9 and still feeling awful, in fact I've given up actually believing I'll get better and now I'm in full on pathetic and sad mode)

I did log on to work and was only meant to do a half day, couldn't even manage that.

Praying for a miracle recovery tomorrow as I'm so over it all now.

JulietSierra · 23/12/2025 16:03

ThirdStorm · 23/12/2025 15:55

I get pathetic too. I hate that I do. So I try really hard to avoid illness! I used to be able to power through, dose up, etc but in the last couple of years I just don't respond well at all. Get well soon!

I try so hard to avoid it too which is really hard as I teach in Reception! And when I do get poorly I get really annoyed and think it’s so unfair that I should be feeling so bad.

OP posts:
TartanMammy · 23/12/2025 16:00

I really can't cope with being unwell, I need to take to my bed and sleep it off.

Dp on the other hand sees it as some kind of weakness and will just 'crack on' with life whatever the ailment.

suzyowl668 · 23/12/2025 15:57

Feel better soon🌷 You are not pathetic it's not unusual to feel low when unwell, its okay to moan too! Laugh at yourself a bit 😊Most of all be kind to yourself x

ThirdStorm · 23/12/2025 15:55

I get pathetic too. I hate that I do. So I try really hard to avoid illness! I used to be able to power through, dose up, etc but in the last couple of years I just don't respond well at all. Get well soon!

JulietSierra · 23/12/2025 15:50

I don’t have a poorly voice but I have caught myself muttering ‘I’m sick of this’ several times today.

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FlashingFairyLight · 23/12/2025 15:48

Do you put on a poorly voice?
DH does and I can't bear it.

He's threatened that he's got a cold today, he's already zipped his fleece to the top & stalked round sighing.

CutePixieGirl · 23/12/2025 15:48

I try to dose myself up and get out into the fresh air as very often being in the house actually makes me feel worse.

Complaining about being unwell usually means that I am feeling better. If I am truly unwell, I am very quiet and in bed.

JulietSierra · 23/12/2025 15:44

I know, I’m such a drip!
To be fair, I never take time off work sick (last time was when I really did have pneumonia!) and I do crack on with my day but I just feel so bloody sorry for myself and over analyse else single symptom. Wish I could just shake myself out of it.

OP posts:
vanillalattes · 23/12/2025 15:27

No, and it drives me mad when other people do it - sorry!

Thesofathatwas · 23/12/2025 15:26

Not at all.
I am completely intolerant and impatient with any kind of illness for myself, because it has the potential to interrupt my day.

I get dosed up and crack on.

Im a bit like that with my kids too, my spidey senses tell me if there’s something really wrong ( I’ve been a nurse for over 30 years) but can’t get excited over things like minor illness, temperatures (I don’t own a thermometer) coughs, colds etc.

I don’t take any time off work for illness either (unless D&V which the last time I had that was possibly 15 years ago).