To not want DD to go out to a club/nightclub on Christmas Day?

I’m an ex-raver and was a v annoying badly behaved teen / early 20s. There is still no way I’d have fucked off Christmas with the family to go raving/clubbing. Literally one day of the year that you do family stuff. Tell her to suck it up soldier and stay home - even if she does it in a strop. Merry Christmas x

He can expect all he likes. How exactly will he enforce it?

Absolutely fucking not.
He doesn't get to dictate your day.
Tell him that he thinks it's fine for her to go out without any plans relayed to you and to be picked up at any time then he can not drink anything alcoholic and pick her up himself. Unless he's abusive....

Also, I've had a look for you and I couldn't find anything for the rooftop bar but I did come across this page on Facebook, if you have an account

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1B5spzvef4/

I don't think it's ok for her to go out so early (and I was a bit of a cunt at 18).
If she's anything like I was, she'll be going out to get wrecked.... Drugs.
It was such fun at the time and I was 18.... I could do whatever I wanted to because, well, I was 18. To be so secretive about where she's going and who she'll be with.... Maybe I'm wrong but it's a possibility.

It sounds like she's going to go no matter what you want.

I believe that you will pick her up if she needs a lift and your darling arsehole has got drunk because in my opinion, that's what a decent parent would do and not leave their child stranded somewhere even though you want to brain them and teach them a lesson.

Good luck OP, God speed 🙏🏼

Legally she cannot stop her....What can she do, throw her out....ofcourse not. Kids know their rights these days

Yep. It’s the weird MN philosophy of how kids turn 18, are immediately adults and should be kicked out and be independent.

My kids at uni, still respected our family life when home. They would not have dumped us for clubbing on Xmas day. Though they liked seeing their cousins and eating the food, so would not have wanted to miss out!

He can expect all he wants.

Make it clear to both of them you won’t be doing it. I’d be amazed if a nightclub is open on Christmas Day. I thought there were issues around licensing? Even the pubs around here close “early” with Sunday hours.

Bagleys was AWESOME!!!
And the Chunnel Club 🤩

OP commented already that it would be from 2pm that she goes out.....

Clubs were never open Christmas day when I used to go to them. Boxing Day yes, Christmas day no.

Just looking at some of the bigger ones in London, Ministry of Sound is closed until Friday, Koko closed until Friday. Fabric says its open but has nothing on until Saturday. And Google says almost all are shut.

So I'd question where she's actually going.

There used to be a nightclub in Berlin that was open 24/365.

At that age I was as equally as selfish and just wanted to be with my friends more, so I understand it. She will be there until she goes out and will be miserable if she doesn't go out. As parents we have this ideal of how we want the day to be but youngsters don't always share it. Xx

I went raving in the 90's on Xmas day night. To bagleys, a very popular club in kings cross. We were all very excited about it but it ended up being rubbish, it was empty in there!

Of course she can stop her. The 18-year-old is almost certainly still dependent on her and has privileges that can be revoked. Spending Christmas Day with you is NOT too much to ask of your dependent children!

For all the posters saying she is an adult at 18 and can do what she likes, this only works if she is independent of her parents - that is, working full-time and living under her own roof and paying all her own bills. But most 18-year-olds are independent in law only, and in fact very much still part of the family unit and having their lives and education funded by their parents, living at home except during uni terms if they are post-A-level. To all intents and purposes, they are not adults as they are still dependent. Therefore they cannot do what they want and dump their families on Xmas Day. They can do what they want when they are actual adults, living under their own roof and funding themselves entirely.

The evening time then yeah ok but not 2pm! I used to go out on Christmas night but after I'd spent the day with everyone and usually had a few cousins tagging on. I would tell your husband he's having a dry Christmas of he's offering lifts and I'd be having a glass of wine at 11am just to make the point. Tbh I would be disappointed and saying I'm not offering a lift as she can't even be bothered to spend the day with you, why should you facilitate her

2pm?? It would be a no from me. Xmas Day is a family day - and we'd have been just sitting down to Xmas dinner at 2pm. Is she mad?? If she wanted to go out at 10pm to go clubbing, fine, although I'd still think it a bit odd on Xmas Day, but taking off halfway through Christmas to be with her mates? I've never heard of anyone doing this. Everyone knows that Christmas is a family day - unless you come from a non-existent, very small, or dysfunctional family, of course.

Yabu - she is an adult and has a right to decide how she spends her Xmas, and her ideas are allowed to be different to yours!

My kids are all in their teens/early twenties but live at home and i leave it up to them. This year eldest is with his Dad but the othets want to be here, though 18yo wants to go to the pub with friends after lunch.

You have to let them carve their own path now surely?!

Never known a nightclub to be open xmas day, that is odd....As you say your dd is 18, let her go, especially if all her friends are going....At the end of the day, you cannot really stop her, she's 18. Let her spread her wings....

Can you not have a drink op. It sounds mad a nightclub is open but trying for taxis is madness unless there are loads about. I would let her decide say your not happy but she’s 18 and say ok but could she be spending with a partner?

Well, your only choice now is to be (unfortunately) forced to calm your nerves about your daughter’s absence by knocking back far too many glasses of wine to be getting up in the small hours of Stephen’s Day and driving out to get her.

Your husband needs a kick up the hole for even thinking of your picking her up, you who don’t want her going in the first place, while he (aka Cool Dad) is free to get pissed all evening.
This is huge family bust-up territory, him carrying on like this and both of them stomping all over your apprehensions and disappointments for Christmas Day. The least they could damn well do is ensure her disco night is without any other pressures on you.

Please stand your ground about being a taxi service. Whether you are right or wrong about your daughter’s plans, you are not certainly bound to sacrifice what you can salvage from the day and be ready to venture out at 3am.
If DH thinks she should go off doing her own thing on Christmas Day, it’s for him to see she gets home safely.
His attitude is ten times more concerning than anything your daughter is at.
I think you have to render yourself unable to drive legally, or you will be forced into this by some sly shite DH pulls.
Break out the sleeping pills, at the very least.

When I was young and even in my DDs time, she is now 32, going clubbing on Christmas Day, was a real thing! I guess it still is for many people.

Some of the best nights of my life were out clubbing with friends in the 90s.

Tell her to have fun, stay safe and look after each other!

Wow. The young adults in my family wouldn’t see spending time with family as ‘having to sit at home’ with the older adults. We all like each other. I know not everyone is so fortunate, but I’m sure it’s a majority.
I’m also a little shocked at the lack of care for the safety of this young woman when nobody knows where she’s going or who with or how she’s getting there or back.
And I’m genuinely astounded at the ‘she’s an adult she can do what she wants’ comments that absolutely refuse to recognise that compromise is at the heart of adults sharing a house, whatever their relationship to one another.
It’s all very odd.

Is she planning to go to university next year? Once they go away they don’t necessarily come home especially if they think they have to sit at home with you.

I think you have bigger issues than your daughter slinking off on Christmas Day.

Are you the household drudge?

@StrawberryCreamField

This! If he wants her to have a lift he can do it himself and not drink. He doesn’t get to dictate what you do OP, he can get to fuck