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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not want DD to go out to a club/nightclub on Christmas Day?

587 replies

StrawberryCreamField · 23/12/2025 14:26

Would you be happy with this? DD (18, her birthday was last week) wants to go out to a nightclub on Christmas Day. I don’t think she should as Christmas Day is a day to spend with family and for her to spend with us and her siblings and she could go out on any other day/night. DD is still saying she wants to go out though. DH thinks I’m being unreasonable and he thinks it’s fine for her to go out on Christmas Day. AIBU?

OP posts:
Moonnstarz · 26/12/2025 09:34

@StrawberryCreamField any updates? Did she get home safely?

SilverPink · 26/12/2025 09:32

Just checking in to see if DD came home safely OP 🤞

TidyCyan · 26/12/2025 09:17

vanillalattes · 26/12/2025 08:41

She can call a taxi, or an Uber, or walk home, or ring a friend. Like you say, she’s 18 - many of us were living totally independently at that age, not being cosseted and relying on mummy for a lift home.

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Exactly. I was living 100 miles away at uni at 18. My mummy and daddy weren't picking me up from nights out.

godmum56 · 26/12/2025 09:00

StrawberryCreamField · 25/12/2025 19:04

DH has had a drink but he won’t let me have a drink “incase you need to go and pick up DD”!!!

how will he stop you?

vanillalattes · 26/12/2025 08:41

MusicMakesItAllBetter · 25/12/2025 23:05

And if she ends up alone...?
She's 18, not 28.
So what happens if she doesn't return and is found in a field somewhere (sorry OP).... She stormed off but she's 18, young and stupid. That's why dad should be picking her up

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She can call a taxi, or an Uber, or walk home, or ring a friend. Like you say, she’s 18 - many of us were living totally independently at that age, not being cosseted and relying on mummy for a lift home.

LoudSnoringDog · 26/12/2025 08:14

Your husband is a selfish dickhead

someonethatyoulovetoomuch · 26/12/2025 08:04

I hope she got back safely OP and you managed to have a nice Christmas Day despite the worry & your husbands behaviour.

Willyoujust · 26/12/2025 06:59

You are being very unreasonable. When I was that age, I wanted to be with my friends. Being with parents is boring when you’re 18. She is a grown adult and can do what she wants. You sound suffocating.

Skodacool · 26/12/2025 06:48

StrawberryCreamField · 25/12/2025 20:32

DH is definitely over the limit to drive unfortunately.

If you give in to this you are well on the road to years of your DD needing you to ‘rescue’ her from situations into which she’s got herself. Set some boundaries now, go and get yourself a drink.

Okiedokie123 · 26/12/2025 00:29

Hoping she gets home safe op. I’m surprised anyone else (her friends and other people generally) that want to go to a night club in Christmas Day. And from 2pm onwards to (and she left even earlier than that) something about her plans clearly doesn’t add up!
I’d be cross and upset to op. Especially as your dh was fine about her going but decided you would also be taxi if required.

4forksache · 25/12/2025 23:33

I think your greatest issue should be with dh tbh.

let’s hope dd keeps herself safe.

Reallyohreally · 25/12/2025 23:33

TidyCyan · 25/12/2025 19:52

Would you honestly stand for your DH volunteering you for pickup and quickly necking beer to abdicate all responsibility when he agreed to this "plan" in the first place?

She's not on her own, clearly. If she and friends end up out all night until an Uber is free so be it.

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I would put my kid ( she’s only just 18) first and not drink. I wouldn’t cut my nose off to spite my face because DH had volunteered and then had a drink. I’d rather just be able to pick daughter up if needed. I would be absolutely furious with both of them though in fact I’d be furious ( but relieved) with both anyway even if she comes home in a taxi.

Mylovelygreendress · 25/12/2025 23:12

StrawberryCreamField · 25/12/2025 19:04

DH has had a drink but he won’t let me have a drink “incase you need to go and pick up DD”!!!

He won’t let you ??

MusicMakesItAllBetter · 25/12/2025 23:06

Cherrytree86 · 25/12/2025 20:29

@MusicMakesItAllBetter

taxis exist you know…

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And she runs out of money 🤷🏼‍♂️
Seriously.... I'm glad I'm not your child.

MusicMakesItAllBetter · 25/12/2025 23:05

vanillalattes · 25/12/2025 19:50

If her 18yo is old enough to storm off and plan her own Christmas, she's old enough to get an Uber home or call a friend.

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And if she ends up alone...?
She's 18, not 28.
So what happens if she doesn't return and is found in a field somewhere (sorry OP).... She stormed off but she's 18, young and stupid. That's why dad should be picking her up

MusicMakesItAllBetter · 25/12/2025 23:03

TidyCyan · 25/12/2025 19:52

Would you honestly stand for your DH volunteering you for pickup and quickly necking beer to abdicate all responsibility when he agreed to this "plan" in the first place?

She's not on her own, clearly. If she and friends end up out all night until an Uber is free so be it.

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Absolutely not, I've expressed this in previous comments.
He should stay sober and collect his daughter but the whole house doesn't sound very thoughtful of one another (sorry OP).

MusicMakesItAllBetter · 25/12/2025 22:59

Unicorn34 · 25/12/2025 21:38

I used to do this many years ago - wish I still could! I understand you'd like her to stay home but if she's been with you all day then why not?

She went out around 12....

Reallyohreally · 25/12/2025 21:51

StrawberryCreamField · 25/12/2025 20:32

DH is definitely over the limit to drive unfortunately.

He can still sit in the passenger seat and go with you. I wouldn’t let him off the hook !!!

CrazyGoatLady · 25/12/2025 21:49

StrawberryCreamField · 25/12/2025 19:04

DH has had a drink but he won’t let me have a drink “incase you need to go and pick up DD”!!!

What is with you all trying to control each other? You're a grown adult. You can have a drink. You can choose not to pick up your adult DD and let her face the consequences of not planning her night out better. DH can't stop you. You can't stop DD going out, or DH enabling her, but you can quit trying to control others and quit allowing others to control you. This all sounds very unhealthy.

Reallyohreally · 25/12/2025 21:44

I would stay up ( or go to bed with my phone)and not drink ( I’m not bothered anyway tbh) and go and get her if needed . I’d be mad as hell though with DH and with her. I think if she’s going to live in your home as an adult she still has to abide by certain rules ie to give you a minimum of information so that you aren’t worrying and tbh for own safety really . When she leaves home you won’t be there to see what she does but while she’s under your roof it’s only fair

Unicorn34 · 25/12/2025 21:38

I used to do this many years ago - wish I still could! I understand you'd like her to stay home but if she's been with you all day then why not?

SmoothOperatorCarlosSainz · 25/12/2025 20:40

It’s unreasonable to expect your daughter at 18 to abide by your must stay in rules. However!

  1. you need to have a discussion with your daughter that she is responsible for getting herself home. She needs to be responsible if she wants to go out
  2. You need to discuss boundaries with your DH. Why is it okay for him to have a drink Christmas Day but you MUST not because you might need to pick your daughter up! If he cares that much he would stay sober.
vanillalattes · 25/12/2025 20:39

StrawberryCreamField · 25/12/2025 20:32

DH is definitely over the limit to drive unfortunately.

So? Your DD can get an uber or a taxi home.

AgnesMcDoo · 25/12/2025 20:38

You really are determined to ensure you all have a miserable day

Original poster
StrawberryCreamField · 25/12/2025 20:32

DH is definitely over the limit to drive unfortunately.

OP posts: