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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want DD to go out to a club/nightclub on Christmas Day?

587 replies

StrawberryCreamField · 23/12/2025 14:26

Would you be happy with this? DD (18, her birthday was last week) wants to go out to a nightclub on Christmas Day. I don’t think she should as Christmas Day is a day to spend with family and for her to spend with us and her siblings and she could go out on any other day/night. DD is still saying she wants to go out though. DH thinks I’m being unreasonable and he thinks it’s fine for her to go out on Christmas Day. AIBU?

OP posts:
AgnesMcDoo · 23/12/2025 14:58

She’s 18. She gets to go if she wants to

LoudSnoringDog · 23/12/2025 14:57

I’d rather my adult kids go out Xmas day tbh. They always have awful hangovers on Xmas day

Cakeandcardio · 23/12/2025 14:54

Userengage · 23/12/2025 14:32

When I frequented nightclubs there were many open on Christmas Day. In London anyway.

Show quote history

Same for me in Scotland! It's a popular night to go out, surely?

DaisyChain505 · 23/12/2025 14:54

StrawberryCreamField · 23/12/2025 14:43

DD hasn’t provided any proof that the nightclub in question is open or that she’s going to it, I only have her word for it.

Why would she need to give your proof! She’s 18 not 8. Back off and stop being so controlling.

ClaredeBear · 23/12/2025 14:49

StrawberryCreamField · 23/12/2025 14:43

DD hasn’t provided any proof that the nightclub in question is open or that she’s going to it, I only have her word for it.

Go with it. Grand plans like this often fall through and if they don’t, she might get it out of her system and decide against it next year.

AngelofIslington · 23/12/2025 14:47

I’m surprised that posters are surprised nightclubs are open on Xmas night. It’s one of their busiest nights of their year

SillyNavyTiger · 23/12/2025 14:46

StrawberryCreamField · 23/12/2025 14:39

She’s planning to get taxis but is refusing to pre book and says she will work it out on the night which I’m not happy with. She will be missing Christmas dinner too which I’m not happy with.

do 18 year old really care about Christmas dinner? It's just a fancy roast, nothing special.

If she lives at home, she sees you and her family every day of the year. Would it make a difference if she was playing a Christmas football match or if she was away skiing with friends?

As long as you know her plans in advance, which you do, let her have fun. It's Christmas, it should be a happy day, not a boring day being stuck at home being bored out of your head.

Keep a happy vibe, and she'll be looking forward to come home for Christmas in a few years. If you are resentful and controlling, she won't be spending many with you in the future

LavenderBlue19 · 23/12/2025 14:45

Where's she going at 2pm? It's fairly obvious that a nightclub is not going to be open then.

I know everyone is saying she's 18 and an adult, but this sounds suspicious. I wouldn't mind her going clubbing in the evening, but missing Christmas dinner, going out so early and not pre-booking a taxi (does she think the taxi drivers will be sitting around waiting for her call on Christmas Day?) all sounds to me like she's doing something she doesn't want you to know about.

QuietLifeNoDrama · 23/12/2025 14:45

Kindly OP, you don’t need to be happy with her decision but it’s not her job to make you happy. She’s not a child anymore. Christmas is going to start to look different over the next few years.

sundayvibeswig22 · 23/12/2025 14:45

At that age I loved going out Xmas night with my friends.

Original poster
StrawberryCreamField · 23/12/2025 14:43

DD hasn’t provided any proof that the nightclub in question is open or that she’s going to it, I only have her word for it.

OP posts:
AngelofIslington · 23/12/2025 14:41

I was going to say YABU as she’s 18 and Xmas night at a nightclub would be a great time for her. They are most def open BUT then you said she’s going out at 2pm, I’d def not be happy with that

Original poster
StrawberryCreamField · 23/12/2025 14:39

She’s planning to get taxis but is refusing to pre book and says she will work it out on the night which I’m not happy with. She will be missing Christmas dinner too which I’m not happy with.

OP posts:
InterIgnis · 23/12/2025 14:38

There are definitely nightclubs open in London on Christmas Day, and I imagine this is true for other major cities too.

She’s 18, so it’s up to her.

Arlanymor · 23/12/2025 14:38

She wants to see her mates and why shouldn't she? I think provided she is there to spend time with you all in the morning and you have your meal before she goes then I really don't see the issue. Everyone else can fall asleep in front of a movie and she can spend time with her friends. I don't know why people don't think clubs are open - they definitely are - pubs too! But I would make sure that she knows exactly how she is getting there and back - pre-booking a taxi and the like, because logistics can be really difficult on bank holidays.

IndigoIsMyFavouriteColour · 23/12/2025 14:36

Compromise by having her stay for dinner and then leave afterwards

Miranda65 · 23/12/2025 14:36

It's absolutely fine because 1) she's an adult and 2) she will have seen her family earlier in the day.
She's 18 and she wants to be with her friends, just like we all did at 18. She doesn't need permission, obviously, but it would be nice if her mother could be a bit more enthusiastic!

Musicaltheatremum · 23/12/2025 14:35

My PTs son is working in a nightclub in Edinburgh on Christmas day.
We used to eat at 7pm so would not have been happy with my children going out at 2pm but would have compromised to them going out later. They may be adults legally but I think it's just decent to do the family Christmas first then go out later.

titchy · 23/12/2025 14:34

StrawberryCreamField · 23/12/2025 14:29

She is saying she wants to go out from 2pm and then go to the nightclub later on. DH thinks it’s fine but I’m not happy.

She’s bullshitting you, fairly obviously. Prob meeting someone…

museumum · 23/12/2025 14:33

Clubbing on Xmas day evening - no problem. We always went out Christmas night to see friends after the family day.
But missing the Christmas meal by going at 2pm - no. I wouldn’t like that at all.

HewasH2O · 23/12/2025 14:33

How is she planning to get there?
How is she planning to get home?
Is she planning to impose herself on someone else's family from 2pm?
How does this impact your own mealtimes etc?

Dartmoorcheffy · 23/12/2025 14:33

Im pretty sure no nightclubs are open on Xmas day.

Crabwoman · 23/12/2025 14:33

Probably better than going out on Christmas Eve and being horrifically hungover on Christmas Day.

I am surprised that they are even open Christmas Day, it's usually Christmas Eve/Boxing day.

I wouldn't be too keen if she was going in the middle of the afternoon, but it's a nightclub so surely it won't even open until 11pm, so she can spend the day with you and then go out at night?

Userengage · 23/12/2025 14:32

saltandvinegarchipsticks · 23/12/2025 14:30

Obviously nightclubs (a) don’t open on Christmas Day and (b) open late nights. So there’s something fishy here!

When I frequented nightclubs there were many open on Christmas Day. In London anyway.

BartholemewTheCat · 23/12/2025 14:32

She’s an adult OP. Christmases are going to be different from now on.