To not want DD to go out to a club/nightclub on Christmas Day?

It's hard to know how to respond isn't it, because she is grown up (just) so you can't tell her what to do. You can say it would mean a lot to you to have her there for Christmas dinner and could she please arrange to go out from 5 or 6 pm instead of 2pm. Basically she's telling you that she has a life without you and it might go better if your tone of voice shows that you recognise that.

I’d ask her to compromise and leave after Christmas dinner, which you could also compromise with by bringing forward a little?
Don’t see what harm her being out in the evening will do, she’s young she should be having fun

Unless you live in a multi cultural area it will be hard to get taxis and so on Christmas Day.

She'll have more fun out with her mates than hanging about at home once everyone's lolling around full of food and drink

A) Yes they do, when did you last go clubbing?
B) Pre drinks at your mates then in the pub where it's cheaper before you go to the club at 10/11 ish

It's not "fishy" at all, Mumsnetters always want to make a fucking conspiracy out of everything. God forbid an 18 year old want to hang out with her mates on Christmas, that's completely unrealistic, she must be in with the swedish mafia or something.

She's 18 OP, this is just one of those things, let her spread her wings. She'll have the morning with you still.

You’re her mother, not her jailer. She’s an adult and she wants to go out, surely that’s her decision?

She’s either clueless or bullshiting. Ask her what club it is and google it. Club nights are massive, but never heard of one on Christmas Day.

Oo a tough one.
When I was 20-26ish I used to meet my friend in a pub at 10pm and then we’d go for a few drinks in some bars. But my family stuff was over and done with by 9pm so it was no big deal.
But the fact she wants to go at 2pm and miss Christmas dinner and the majority of the day? Nooo I wouldn’t like that. Why do her and her friends have to go so early?
But at 18, I don’t really know what you can do to stop her?

It wouldn't bother me if she wanted to go to a nightclub in the evening and it would be up to her to sort out and pay for transport but I'd probably question why she needed to go at 2. Can't you eat Xmas dinner together and she goes afterwards?

It's not her job to make you happy. The fact that you aren't happy, frankly, isn't her problem.

She's 18. She's an adult. You can't ground her on Christmas, or any other, day for that matter.

Much better to just let her go and enjoy herself, than to have a miserable grumpy teenager in the house spoiling everyone's enjoyment!

She's 18. She should be at liberty to go wherever she wants without having to run it past you first. Just be careful you don't create a situation where she feels the need to lie about it.

Christmas Day is boring, I don't know why it's that big a deal that she'd rather go out and as you mention a dh it's not like you'll be alone if she goes.

Oh leave her alone and let her be with her friends. I always used to spend late afternoon/xmas evening with friends at that age. I wouldn’t have an issue if one of my teens decided to do the same. I love seeing them have a full and happy social life especially at this time of year.

If you continue to be this controlling and inflexible now you may find when she a fully fledged adult that she’s not bothered about spending any of Christmas Day with you!

I don't think you have to be happy with it, it's completely pointless to start reeling out it's a family day if she lives with you sees you all the time anyway. She may well be going out to a pub first. Christmas dinner is just another roast to them especially if they have one every Sunday.

In the city I live close to they say that about 80% of the usual taxis will be running, due to being driven by people who don't celebrate Christmas.

Think of the miserable day your in for if you do somehow stop her going out, sulking in her room perhaps?

I compromise with my 18yr old and have her on life 360 - especially as she's driving too so I can sleep at night, she's not bothered and sticks to her plans.

I always went to house parties Christmas night at that age. Spent the day with the family and headed out as my parents were settling down to watch a movie never any issues with it.

if she's planning on shagging her boyfriend all night instead, do you REALLY want to be told and shown the packs of condoms?

She wants to go out, unless she's at risk of being kidnapped by a cult or something sinister, let her be.

I’ve googled my local area and all clubs are closed Thursday, reopening Friday 🤷‍♀️

You don't own your children.

Why can't she do what she wants?

If the answer starts with

"Because I...." OR mentions family time then YABU.

You sound controlling. Of course the clubs are open on Xmas, she doesn't have to "prove" anything, she's an adult. Be careful not to smother her OP

I don’t live near one of the big cities and there are a couple open near me.

God, we always went clubbing on Christmas night! You’ll have had the whole day, do you all have to sit round in the lounge looking at each other til midnight? It’s a really fun night when you’re that age.

Why does she need to prove anything? If she’s actually doing something else and is lying to you it would be an idea to think why she needs to do that.

Nightclubs arnt useally open on Xmas day. Boxing nights the night people go out

I’d encourage her to have Xmas dinner at home and go out afterwards, but ultimately, at 18, she can decide how she spends her day. Leave her to it.

She might be your child, but she isn’t a child any longer - “family Christmas” won’t always hold the same appeal for her as it once did. In coming years she’s likely to choose to spend it with a partner or with friends sometimes, traditions will change. Do you really think it’s going to be a jolly day knowing she’s with you under duress?

I honestly did not know that 😂

But good for those who want to go!