To not want DD to go out to a club/nightclub on Christmas Day?

Two of my dc are adults, and one is turning 18 in a few months.

I've always said to them that they should do whatever makes them happy on Christmas.

It's not about me, if they are happy, I'm delighted. They just tell me what their plans are and I work around that.

I would hate them to feel obligated into spending time with me out of guilt.

I think the one thing OP definitely has to enforce is common sense around the taxi question.
No way would I allow her to just hope for the best, given the chances of some predatory bloke working the late Xmas night shift specifically to prowl for drunk and lone young women like Herself.
I’m not being alarmist: this is a big concern in Dublin, for example, and recently a women-only taxi co-op has at last been set up.
There’s just been so many attacks and threats against women trying to get home in the small hours in GB and in Ireland for years, and we aren’t free from risk at all.
I’d at the very least sort out a number for her, proven to connect to a verified and recommended driver/company before agreeing to her plans.

My take is slightly different (but then I have never been much of a clubber!). Sure she is 18 but presumably still lelives at home and you support her living costs etc. Which means that she's very much part of the family and should act like it, even if that means putting on a brave face and eating some pigs in blankets with your parents. I don't like that we should be encouraging young adults to be completely selfish just because they've turned 18. I would point out that you'd like to have christmas dinner together at xpm and after that she's free to do as she wishes.

how will you stop her?

And yet that’s what 99% of 18 year olds do on Xmas day. You enjoy getting pissed with your family for the first time and usually start an argument with Great Aunt Margaret culminating in the throwing of mince pies and cackling.

Or was that just me

Yes, they do. Not all of them, granted, but plenty of them do.

I would be miffed too at her going out from 2pm. Fair enough if she wanted to go out in the evening but I would also be wondering where she is going during all this time. You say she only recently turned 18, so she is still sixth form age/college. Unless she has a lot of older friends, surely they would also be expected to be seeing family during the day. I would be asking more questions about where she is going and who with.

I honestly thought all nightclubs were shut on Xmas day. Never really thought about people going out.

I think it would be reasonable for you to expect her to be home for Christmas Dinner.

Her wanting to go out afterwards is reasonable and you're all likely to be just sitting around in a food coma anyway surely?

I wonder if this is going to turn out to be one of those teen things where "everyone else is going at 2pm" and she ends up sitting on a sofa somewhere while the "everyone else" finishes up their Christmas dinners?

Yes they do. Maybe not all but some do.

Mine are primary aged. I just think it should the the adult who makes the decision where to spend Christmas without either mum telling them or guilting them into it. It should be for them to consider where they want to be, not you.

I don’t think she’s telling you the truth. Nightclubs don’t open on Christmas Day.

Of course if they are travelling or studying abroad which one of mine did, that’s quite different, but to go out with mates at 2pm on Xmas day is quite different !

I knew nightclubs open on Christmas night. Maybe I'm not as stuck in the dark ages as I imagine!

@StrawberryCreamField Sorry if I'm being dense but if the nightclub isn't opening untill around 11pm then why does DD want to go out around 2 and where is she planning to hang around for 9 hours on Christmas day?

This is 100% not true. I worked in clubs and bars for a number of years and none of them open. Christmas Eve is mental but not the 25th.

Round our area clubs have started running 2 -8 pm sessions for those who can't do late nights any more but I doubt it's one of those she is going to.

why thank you, my children enjoy spending time together as a family so I think maybe that helps, yours may not? and I think it’s a question of respect for your parents, I have to say my large friendship group is the same.

I have no idea how you mandate this. I went travelling at 19yrs and didn't give my Mum the option but also that level of micro managing is ridiculous. Do they get to make any Christmas plans that don't need your approval first?

Big of you to reconsider where your adult children should spend Christmas if they got long term partners. What if they wanted to go away or spend it with friends?

Whatever er about her rights at 18, I can’t blame this young woman’s mother for not being enthusiastic about her plan. Doesn’t OP also have rights, at least to her own reactions?

(Im surprised the daughter has other clubbing pals whose parents are also laid back about a 2pm departure from a family Christmas (that’s assuming there is one, of course. I guess it’s a bit different if GPs, loose aunts etc, aren’t coming)

i really don’t understand all these people saying you are unreasonable, she is 18 and an adult yes but if she is living in your home, then there are certain days that are non negotiable, I have two adult teenagers and they both know Xmas day is spent with family, I would reconsider if they had long term partners, as it is mine are seeing there partners on Boxing Day. We will also have a family meal another with the partners. It is one day a year, I’m sure your daughter should make the effort

She’s 18, I should imagine spending the day with her family and siblings would be boring for her, life’s for living at that age, and she’s 18 so not really a lot you can do about it.

She's an adult, so I don't think you have any right to stop her spending Christmas Day however she chooses, really.

I'd make the Christmas dinner a bit earlier so she can line her stomach! I'm surprised that any club is open on CD, but anyway. I think generally if you let them free, they come back to you.

These responses are nuts. You get to be pissed off that 2 days before your daughter is cancelling the Christmas plans to do what she wants unnecessarily. Go out with her friends fine but not from 2pm missing the main event!