To not want DD to go out to a club/nightclub on Christmas Day?

But where does she want to go all afternoon? Just to someone else's house? I'd be wondering why. Is there somewhere other than your house that she'd rather be spending Christmas and for what reason?

There’s quite clearly more going off here if you don’t believe her. If mine said they were off to a nightclub I’d have no reason to doubt them, yet you clearly do. And where will she be from 2pm? And with who? None of her friends spending the day with their families?

There’s always been clubs open on Christmas Day. It’s very common in the gay scene - especially as many gay men used to be excluded from family gatherings etc.

Shes 18 and kindly she doesn't need to provide proof or have you be ok with it. There are 365 days in a year there is no law that says people need to stay home eating a roast. If you keep forcing the issue next year she may not spend any of the day with you

I can't imagine anyone is going to particularly enjoy sitting down to an enforced dinner with at least one person who doesn't want to be there.

Add in do as I say and not as I do.

When you point out they do it as well to whatever your argument was.

While you’re under my roof you Will….

Hilarious when the adult child has their own house and suddenly the parent has rules to follow in their home. But but but Im your mum how dare you!

Well in lots of places there’s shortage of taxis at Xmas or prices are astronomical. You don’t want your teen out 2am Boxing Day where she can’t get home and is alone in a dodgy part of Blackpool or risks getting in an unlicensed car with a random bloke. I used to pick dd and friends up from outside a local nightclub in sixth form sometimes and there were lots of ‘cabs’ touting that weren’t real taxis. I personally would struggle to enjoy Christmas Day evening and sleep knowing she was out without a plan to get home.

Don’t guilt trip your daughter, let her live her life. I’m 34 & still crippled with guilt when I don’t see my mum at Christmas, she didn’t mean it but I won’t do this to my children.

of course - but it’s also the age at which over protectiveness or worse is no longer excuseable to the child themselves and at which you can very rapidly drive them away

Welcome to the life of being a parent with an adult child @StrawberryCreamField

As has been said, Christmases will be different from now on. She's not your little girl anymore.

Sorry posted too early. She should though have Xmas dinner with the family and go out after. She IBU to want to go at 2pm

Yep, the one phrase guaranteed to annoy a teenager is "because I said so", lol.

She could decide to go to a night club in NYC on christmas day and get a flight tomorrow.

There is nothing you should be able to do about it. Shes 18. Not 8.

You can be not ok all your want she’s 18 a bloody adult.

So what if the nightclub is a lie that just means she knows she has to lie to you. Which is a bigger issue that she feels she can’t be honest with you.

again if she doesn’t want to do Christmas Day she’s 18

If she doesn’t want to pre book a taxi. She’s 18!

Also never had a problem getting a taxi Christmas Day.

And again SHES 18. SHES AN ADULT.

Why, though?

This is the sort of question my parents could never answer with anything other than “because it’s what we do”.

A proper reason might convince her to stay. But I’m not sure there is one.

Ah those were the days. Clubbing on Christmas Day night after a day spent with family. YABU

Just make it very clear that you’ll have been drinking so won’t be able to come and collect her if there aren’t any taxis so they need to either pre-book or sort out someone else’s parent to do it. But otherwise, you just have to let her make her own mistakes. By 18 plenty of teenagers are living away from home at university and doing all kinds of daft things their mums probably wouldn’t approve of. They have to learn.

Again, it's irrelevant whether you're okay with it or not.

She has just turned 18. There was a post recently where a woman met a young man who was 18 (she believed he was older) and a lot of posters thought this was incredibly wrong that she had slept with him and should have checked his age more thoroughly.
While I agree she is an adult, she is still living under her parents roof. A fair compromise is going out at 5pm. If she was planning on going out with friends (and presumably not that many will have turned 18 yet so will be a limited number if going to a club where they are likely to be extra vigilant on ID) surely they could do something then rather than all afternoon and night.

Is it that arbitrary? Sit down and eat dinner with us and then go off and do your own thing.

I also don’t feel ok with her not pre booking her taxis

But...why?! We never pre-booked a taxi when we went out. Ever. And that was the 90s/noughties. Sometimes we got one, sometimes we struggled. We figured it out.
Now most places have Ubers it's even less of an issue surely.

You keep repeating the same points, OP. Are you taking on board any of the posters saying that she's 18, she's an adult, and she can do what she wants?

OP, you keep saying you're "not okay" with her plans but she's 18 years old. Whether you're "okay" with them or not isn't relevant. If she wants to spend her day with friends and go out for drinks or clubbing then that's her choice.

Are you struggling with her growing up in general?

It’s the is the nightclub open/don’t know who going with and taxi situation I wouldn’t be happy with.
Even when they are 18 you worry.
If she was working as a waitress in a big hotel and taxis booked I’d be ok with that, some teens deliberately choose to work as it’s good money and tips.
Vague and no proper plan isn’t ok to me.

Why?