To not want DD to go out to a club/nightclub on Christmas Day?

The Hive in Edinburgh is open from 10pm to 3am. Quick google will bring up others I'm sure.

Yet despite your weirdly certain statement I can find at least 2 in Blackpool open with 1 second of googling

Too right!! That sounds great no way you could miss that. I wouldn’t miss xmas dinner but each to their own in the evening.

My DH runs a nightclub. Nightclubs don’t open on Christmas Day….shes not going to a nightclub! It’s not commercially viable, everywhere will be empty.

I have similar ages and I’d be really annoyed if they did this and as last minute when you’ve planned dinner etc! It does also sound like a recipe for disaster and potentially no taxis etc and you’ll end up having to sort? I might be wrong.

If it was the compromised version - after 7/8pm and eats dinner with you and does ‘Christmas day’ and then goes out and has a pre booked taxi, that would be fine. No different to after dinner get together at the pub I guess. But it sounds a little suss at the moment .e.g. last minute, not sharing info of who with. Why do they think they are 100% adults the second they turn 18?! Argh….

You’re not unreasonable to want her to spend Christmas Day with her family but she’s 18 and if she wants to go to a club on Christmas Day (night presumably?) that’s up to her. I also have an 18 year old and I’ve started biting my tongue a lot more as ultimately she needs to make her own decisions. I choose carefully the hills I think I need to die on.

Christmas night was always a busy night out in my tiny Scottish town! The local venue would get a late license for the occasion but wouldn’t open til 11pm. I’d have been horrified if my parents tried to stop me going and for the record, my 18th was mid December. I would definitely have stayed home for dinner though - unless I was working as I missed a few Christmas dinners to work in local restaurants.

My birthday is Christmas Eve and the only time I’ve ever even gone out for that was my 18th, the rest of the time it’s been the weekend before.

Christmas is for family and going out either day before or day of would have been an absolute no-no.

My mother would be losing her mind in your position.

Sounds an idyllic way to spend christmas, rather than with an overbearing mother.
You can't force someone to spend time with you.

Glad to see the young people actually going out and intermingling like this tbh. I thought they were all juice bars and selfies in the gym nowdays.
Nightlife culture has given the Uk so much, from the Jazz bars to swinging 60s, punk and rave culture.
I was hoping some young people would still want to go out, have fun and mingle in real life still.
This gives me hope :)

DB and me ,both back from uni or wherever we were ,went out clubbing just for the hell of it on one Christmas Day evening,after xmas day with family.Our parents didn’t mind at all!!It was the 80s and back then it was open but deadly quiet. Had a laugh with DB though .

If they are open, they’re obviously planning a very intimate affair because there’s not a mention of them opening on Christmas Day that I can find.

I agree with you that it’s not ideal. But I think you need to tread very carefully here. You’re asking her a lot of questions and her response is pretty clear. You could keep pushing, but I think that’s only going to clam up and make her more secretive. You could also say that she might be old enough not to need your permission but that you have house rules she needs to abide by if she wants to live there. But it sounds like your relationship is already hanging by a thread. Do you really want this to be the thing that breaks it? With both of you saying things you don’t mean and neither of you backing down?

I don’t quite get the “they’re an adult they can do what they want” comments - adults are generally expected to act with consideration to others, including their family and make reasonable compromises, not act like they are the only person who is important.

If she’s an adult she should act like one.

Blimey, what a way to drive your child away from you forever!

You can't control what other adults do, and people tend to pull away from those trying to control them. Relax or you'll push her away more.

Ok, I’d be saying something along the lines of Christmas is about sharing time with family, showing our love in many ways like Family games, meal, and exchanging gifts

you are 18 so we can’t stop you and it’s your decison to opt out of Christmas Day. Christmas Day is whole deal you and not choosing just bits you want for yourself such as still receiving your gifts . If you disappear at 2pm then you’re opting out of Christmas Day with the family. That’s fine. Welll leave you out of celebrations and you can do your own thing all day. We won’t be adjusting our plans for this new schedule. You’ll need to feed yourself around your own schedule by the way. And we’re drinking so we’ll not be available to pick you up if you suddenly find yourself in a bind.

let her mull on that. But follow through. You can always save her presents for he4 birthday once the reality of that hits.

she is still living at home, only just 18. But she’s stretching her wings to do her win thing. Don’t go head to head with her, no threats…just shrug your shoulders and casually say that’s fine so you don’t want to do Xmas then

id also agree nightclub is a ruse…there’s someone involved who she’s in love with and is prioritising for the endorphins she gets from that kick. That’s young people for you!

So she moves out......

What the fuck. What a completely weird and random comment.

Yup. And the OP won't answer my question which is how will she stop her?

This makes sense. Maybe a secret boyfriend?

Op I think she’s meeting a guy (or girl) and spending Christmas with them.

18 or not, if she lives under my roof, I’d want to know who with and I would want her to have Xmas dinner and go out after at around 4pm.

Sounds to me that she is planning xmas dinner somewhere else but doesn't want to tell you.

Is the Pleasure Beach even open on Christmas Day evening??? Isn't the bar situated within the complex?? I doubt the club even opens much before 10 pm. Where is your daughter planning on being from 2 pm onwards? I wouldn't have an issue with her going clubbing in the evening. Missing Christmas lunch though would annoy me, especially if the change of plan is sudden. I would prefer her to eat Christmas lunch at home, and then go and meet friends. The fact she's being evasive of who she's meeting, and refuses to pre-book a taxi, suggests to me, that she may not be going where she says. I suspect that there's a man involved, and she's planning on staying over. If she is lying, then your biggest issue is why? Does she feel that you pry? Or could she be with someone or going somewhere you won't approve? I definitely wouldn't accuse her of lying, because you have no real proof of that at all. Ultimately, you can't stop her from leaving at 2 pm and missing lunch/evening at home, because she's an adult. All you can say is that you're disappointed that she won't be there for lunch, and tell her to have a nice time with her friends.

Google tells me it's closed on Christmas day and Boxing day. She's obviously doing something she doesn't want you to know.