To not want DD to go out to a club/nightclub on Christmas Day?

i bet she won’t go. Her mates probably won’t want to go out at 2pm. If she does go, it will be crap.

there isnt a lot to do on Christmas Day in the afternoon.

You sound like one of those insufferable people who have protected their boundaries and peace into isolation

Sounds like she’s lying to you. Maybe if you stop treating her like a baby she would tell you the truth. Why you would want to force someone to spend the day with you that clearly doesn’t want to is beyond me.

Why do you need proof??

I hate to burst your bubble, but you do realise society doesn’t actually work for many of us. It just works for the bossy, selfish, domineering fuckers

This girl will be at school in yr13. If she doesn’t turn up on 5th they’ll ring mum. They expect more of an answer than how should I know she’s 18 and an adult don’t you know.
I think if you are living with family it’s courtesy to let them know.
I don’t think it’s controlling not to want your just turned 18 year daughter wandering streets of Blackpool in early hours of Boxing Day morning.
If she was a year older and away in Thailand backpacking or away at Uni then it’s up to her and mum none the wiser but if you are living with family you should be considerate. There’s lots of break ins at Christmas - op may want to put chain on door etc. No idea when or if teen coming back isn’t helpful.
Op probably worried she’ll get a call at 3am as shock horror there’s no taxis and have to go and retrieve her. Op may have wanted a drink Christmas Day or have plans Boxing Day eg driving 4 hours to your in-laws on 2 hours sleep isn’t safe.

Yuuuuuuuup. My parents were ridiculously strict, beyond any normal reasoning.

I lied through my teeth as a teen, otherwise I'd never have been able to leave the house!

I was a big party girl back in the 00s, was out every Xmas eve and boxing day. Never heard of people going out on Xmas day! Although I probably would have done given the chance. Not all day but in the evening. Maybe compromise and say presents in the morning and an early lunch then she can do what she wants after that.

Prioritising your own self-interest without any consideration of others is not how society functions. OP would be doing her DD no favours by simply saying “oh never mind Xmas dinner, go do your own thing”. What kind of life lesson is that?

i’m not saying DD should be expected to spend the entire evening playing charades and watching repeats on TV. Nor can OP compel her DD to stay in. But they should be able to have a reasonable conversation and compromise.

I think it's worth being clear about your ability/willingness to collect her if she can't get a taxi and then letting the rest of it go. Perfectly fine to say you're planning on drinking wine and won't be safe to collect her if she goes out.

Christmas traditions/ arrangements need to meet the current wishes of those participating - I suspect there's something in what you usually do that isn't working for her but I doubt you're going to be able to have a productive conversation in the next day.

I'd stop asking so many questions while passing on information around eg. what to do if she gets stuck at a friend's house and wants to leave. Could she have volunteered to join a friend with a 'difficult' family to be a buffer? That's a good basis for advice.

Exactly !! I had to smile when our youngish adult child came in at 2 in the morning and phoned us to see if we were ok ( we were just having a fun dinner at friends that went on longer than usual)

Because I didn’t want to assume she was straight or gay and ‘partner’ covers all possibilities. And so what if she’s lying? She’s 18 and doesn’t have to give in to the 3rd degree.

At 18 you can tell her you’re not happy with it and you can ask her to compromise by going out later but if she’s determined to go you can’t actually stop her.

Don’t make it a battle you can’t win.

I think it's reasonable to want to have an idea of where ANY member of the household is going late night Christmas Day, who with and how to contact them.

When I was 18, my mother was 54 and if SHE had decided to go clubbing on Christmas Day with people whose identities she would not tell me, was being reticent about arranging or disclosing travel arrangements and whether the venue was even open, we'd be having words. It's not necessarily an age thing, just a safety and consideration thing.

YABU she’s an adult she can do what she wants on Christmas Day.

Have all of you who are fretting over the Google AI (which could well be wrong anyway) saying the venue is closed and jumping to mad conclusions about the DD lying, completely forgotten what it's like to arrange a night out when you're 18?!

The plans so far have probably involved vague conversations about times and venues. I doubt very much there is an exact agenda mapped out. If it's shut they'll go somewhere else. Or maybe a friend has hired it out. Who knows.

All this "2pm is too early", "has she booked a taxi" and "oh but it's going to be shut" stuff is almost certainly giving more structure to the DDs night out than she's given it herself.. I mean at that age I literally flew to the opposite side of the world with fewer plans in my head than most of you are giving to a local night out.

The difference is she is clearly lying which makes it sound dodgy…and I really don’t think 6th formers have “partners”, what’s wrong with good old fashioned “boyfriend and girlfriend”

OPs DD does not have the same responsibility to her as her DH does, that is such a weird thought process IMO.

But if her DH did want to go to the pub then I wouldn't see the issue unless he was expecting OP to look after kids (under 18) or cook dinner etc while he was out.

I wouldn't be happy about the secrecy and vagueness of it all either. It just sounds off and like she is lying , I would be more mad about that. Could it be she has met someone and doesn't want you to know about them?

Right but there’s a difference between being overbearing and wanting to be reassured about an 18 year old out on her own in Blackpool on xmas day. I always let my mum know who I was with and how I was getting home. No mobile phones then either. it was out of love for my easy going mum. Why would I worry her for nothing ?

That sounds a bit fishy.

Not that it's worth much, but ChatGPT says no evidence the venue is open at any point on Christmas Day. I'd probably tell her you fancy a night out yourself and will see her there. Or even offer to pre-book the taxi so you can all go along together.

If she had a partner and wanted to go round to theirs in the evening, would that be ok? If so, what’s the difference (apart from the taxi issue, which I think is a bonkers thing for you to fixate on).

I really disagree with this. 18 is not really an adult. She is presumably in 6th Form. She lives at home. It is reasonable for her mother to have some questions about where she is going and who she is going with if she is wanting to ditch the family on Xmas day. 18 is very young to start doing things differently - most families keep “family Christmas” until at least the young person has graduated and started full time work - with some compromise e.g., going out xmas eve and waking up later.

If the OP has looked it up and it is not advertised that it is open then I smell a rat - something is not adding up and it is reasonable to be concerned about the whereabouts of your 18 year old daughter. If it wasn’t a big deal or she was going with nice normal friends she would just say “oh I’m going with Alice and Jasmine” or whatever.

As an aside, the thought of pulling myself from a Christmas Day coma to go clubbing or all things fills me with absolute dread and would have just as much at 18 (and I used to like going out!)

I thought you were going to be in London OP there are lots of places open Christmas day there. I don't think its much different to going to the pub in the evening, which we used to do in our younger days, but we waited till the oldies were asleep in front of the telly before we left!

Couldnt you suggest that new years eve would be much more fun