To not want DD to go out to a club/nightclub on Christmas Day?

If he wants her to be picked up, he should do it! Or be on call if she can't get a taxi.

She might end up not going OP. What a pain really. I was all for yabu, until I realized you don’t know who she’s going with or anything.

Because I might be going clubbing at 2pm? I’d never be so disrespectful.

If you’re running Christmas plans past (essentially) 17 year olds and asking them to confirm their attendance, more fool you.

Because I guess pre-booking a taxi would mean her night has to end at a preset time and she and her mates might not be ready to go home? I don't think I'd have wanted to do that at 18 as a uni student. But then, I never lived at home post 18, once I went to uni that was that. Kids stay at home much longer now, they may be legal adults but they're also sort of in limbo between child and full adult. If she didn't live at home and was reneging on Christmas plans and not visiting/cutting her visit short, I'd be saying YANBU, because that feels a lot more disrespectful when you don't see your family so much. But if you live together, you're together every day and a family Christmas won't be appealing to an 18 y o who is doing the very developmentally expected thing of wanting to grow away from her family and establish her own separate existence. It's always a difficult process, and often painful. But it is not abnormal at this age and stage to be more interested in and motivated by relationships with peers than family.

If DH wants to pick her up, let him get on with it. Probably the safest option, and it's better that she knows she can call a parent if she is stranded or in a pickle. I wouldn't have ever been able to call my parents for help, my dad would just not have bothered and my mum would have created WW3. She's lucky to have a dad that is willing to be a safety net as she tries out her independence.

She's meeting someone. Possibly a boyfriend or girlfriend. What nightclub is open Xmas day mid afternoon?
I smell shenanigans. But then again its tricky as she is 18

Leave her be. She has the option of being with you and “her family” or going out with her mates. And she has chosen her mates. She can see you all year long.

Why do you want to spoil HER Christmas?

I’m a great believer in lettting people enjoy Christmas the way they want to- especially teenagers. I remember my friends at that age being trapped in their homes with forced fun and hating every minute lol. My parents were at the pub so I was free to do as I pleased and tbh my Xmas days as a late teen/young adult were some of my best memories.
my 18 year old intends to spend Xmas day with her partner and their parents. I’ll miss her but she’s an adult and entitled to spend the day as she wishes, as is your DD. Let her enjoy the day.

And the look of distain I would treat my parents to if they made such a ridiculous suggestion 🙄. A coat? Don't be ridiculous, it'll ruin my outfit that I've spend months weeks planning 😂.

😂 I was thinking of my teenage self in the North of England shivering in the taxi queue, it’s all fun and games until it’s 2am cold and raining and you’ve got bare feet in heels and no coat 😂

Well if she didn't agree to plans how can she be changing them?

But the comparison I was replying to was about if one's DH did the same thing, presumably DHs are allowed to be involved in Christmas day planning, or do they just have to do whatever their wife wants without prior discussion?

All you had to do is google it OP

Hopefully she’ll take a coat!

If she does then she'll be like no eighteen year old I've ever met, including my teenage self!

Where I am (Scotland) nightclubs do open on christmas night, also pubs are open during the day/night. Nothing fishy about it

Indeed - the OPs dd did not need to “agree to plans” because at that age and stage it is obviously assumed she will be spending it with the family.

This thread is about one reason you might not be.

What?

When I was just turned 18, my family assumed I was spending Christmas with them, because why on earth wouldn’t I be?

That changes when you move out, and have a family/set up of your own. People spend Christmas with their parents, usually without an RSVP.

At that age I would have been out with my friends on Christmas night. I'd have spent the day with my family though. I have an 18 year old dd and would be grand with her going out, but would expect her to have Christmas Dinner with family as it is once a year and not a big ask. It is odd that she doesn't want to give you any information.

I think she should be allowed to meet up with her friends in the evening, she should spend the day with her family. Why does she need to go out at 2pm? You won’t have had Christmas lunch by then surely?

But there is no indication that OPs daughter agreed to spend the day with them and is changing plans

I mean it is two days before Christmas right now - that’s the comparable scenario with what OP is describing is it not?

As she's an adult you get no say whatsoever.
She can do as she likes and doesn't need to give you any information.
Yes, you'll worry for her safety. But because you want her home for Christmas is not a good enough reason.

I think shes an adult and can make her own decisions