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Original poster

Opening presents on Christmas Day vs in front of the giver

88 replies

Arrien · 23/12/2025 13:09

DS is in his mid-twenties, for the first time ever he’s not coming home for Christmas, he and his girlfriend are celebrating with their friends at home. Yesterday we got a 2.5 hour train down to him and back to exchange gifts and have lunch with him and his girlfriend. I put a lot of thought into their gifts as did DH and for both of them we bought something that we knew they’d be thrilled to receive. To me part of the joy of gift giving is seeing them open their presents but DS insisted on keeping a hold of them until Christmas Day. We also took presents from grandparents and his brother so I understand not opening them, but I’d have liked to see them open the gifts we got them. I suggested twice we open the gifts now and DS kept saying no no keep them for Christmas morning.

AIBU to think it’s more fun to open gifts with the giver present than to wait and open them alone? DH thinks it’s not a big deal and it gives us an excuse to FaceTime them on Christmas morning. He also thinks DS might just be wanting some things to open on Christmas morning as his girlfriend is French so they are doing their gifts to each other on Christmas Eve after her french Christmas dinner.

When our kids were small we always had them open the gifts in front of the giver if it was reasonably close to Christmas (within about a week), so this a pretty new thing for DS to be passionate about.

OP posts:
Emmz1510 · 23/12/2025 17:20

I think it’s sweet, he wants the magic of opening a pile of gifts on Christmas morning! I couldn’t get too upset about this. Unless of course he’s one of these people who don’t say thank you. If I didn’t get an effusive and genuine thanks on the phone after he’s opened it I’d be pissed off.

Supercooper11 · 23/12/2025 17:03

Arrien · 23/12/2025 13:09

DS is in his mid-twenties, for the first time ever he’s not coming home for Christmas, he and his girlfriend are celebrating with their friends at home. Yesterday we got a 2.5 hour train down to him and back to exchange gifts and have lunch with him and his girlfriend. I put a lot of thought into their gifts as did DH and for both of them we bought something that we knew they’d be thrilled to receive. To me part of the joy of gift giving is seeing them open their presents but DS insisted on keeping a hold of them until Christmas Day. We also took presents from grandparents and his brother so I understand not opening them, but I’d have liked to see them open the gifts we got them. I suggested twice we open the gifts now and DS kept saying no no keep them for Christmas morning.

AIBU to think it’s more fun to open gifts with the giver present than to wait and open them alone? DH thinks it’s not a big deal and it gives us an excuse to FaceTime them on Christmas morning. He also thinks DS might just be wanting some things to open on Christmas morning as his girlfriend is French so they are doing their gifts to each other on Christmas Eve after her french Christmas dinner.

When our kids were small we always had them open the gifts in front of the giver if it was reasonably close to Christmas (within about a week), so this a pretty new thing for DS to be passionate about.

Are you maybe more upset that this will be the first Christmas Day without him rather than the gift opening?

Original poster
Arrien · 23/12/2025 14:35

SillyNavyTiger · 23/12/2025 14:31

When it's your own parents who really care about your reaction and are excited about their gift, yes its a bit mean not to do it in front of them.

I don’t mind at all normally with friends etc. but we got DS something he’s been looking for, for years but unable to get and technically a joint gift but tickets to a sporting event I know his girlfriend has been desperate to go to but been unable to get tickets for. DS’s gift took months of searching and the joint gift involved me cancelling a work meeting as the tickets sell out so fast, that I had to be online and ready to go for the release. I think when you know it’s something they will really love and you put a lot of working into making it happen it can be nice to see their reactions. I care less about the other items which while I know they will like them took much less effort to get!

OP posts:
SillyNavyTiger · 23/12/2025 14:31

When it's your own parents who really care about your reaction and are excited about their gift, yes its a bit mean not to do it in front of them.

luckylavender · 23/12/2025 14:28

I never open gifts before birthday / Christmas & I hate people nagging me to do so. Makes me tempted to give them back.

MsPavlichenko · 23/12/2025 14:21

Arrien · 23/12/2025 13:35

I just want to say, it’s not a big deal and I’m not suggesting it is! I was just disappointed! We aren’t starting a family war or being controlling! I think it’s fair that I’m allowed to express how I’d do things, they express how they want to do things and we reach a compromise!

Yes, but now that he has moved out and is in his own place he can decide how he/ they do things. No need to compromise. You have done it your way in your house, and still can when he visits!

Your DH jumping in suggests he might have thought you were going to keep pushing? That might have been a problem.

ladyamy · 23/12/2025 14:16

In front of the giver, always

BettysRoasties · 23/12/2025 14:13

WimbyAce · 23/12/2025 14:06

I understand this with little people but he's in his twenties......Please do not facetime to watch him opening 😑

I hate FaceTime calls Christmas Day even with the children. It just cuts in your day. I know both granny’s are going to try and FaceTime and whoever ends up delayed as they are already on a call is going to get grumpy.

My parents won’t take a hint that cool bye now you have to spell it out.
He will get grumpy his parents aren’t prioritised for first face time if mine gets in first but his mothers so bloody nosey she wants to see everything.

I excuse myself to another room and come back with excuses of I’ve made breakfast bye 😅

BettysRoasties · 23/12/2025 14:10

Unless the gift is given after Christmas it waits till Christmas Day.

I also hate performance opening being watched and judge for my reaction or lack of reaction. Like oh lovely some Christmas socks 😃

Makes the gift about the givers enjoyment over the enjoyment of the recipient.

WimbyAce · 23/12/2025 14:06

I understand this with little people but he's in his twenties......Please do not facetime to watch him opening 😑

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 23/12/2025 14:05

Runningismyhappyplace50 · 23/12/2025 13:20

I hate opening gifts in front of the giver as I feel pressure to react in a certain way.

Maybe he is starting his own traditions

This! It’s so awkward.

One good thing about Christmas is it allows you to avoid this and have time to rehearse appropriate thanks in your head if you aren’t actually that thrilled.

Also, it’s nice to have a stack of presents on Christmas Day, and to have the anticipation. I can’t believe you made your children open their presents in a piecemeal way as children to please the givers.

VictoriaEra · 23/12/2025 14:02

I always save for the day. Same with birthdays. I also prefer people to open their presents from me when I’m not there. I always worry they won’t like it and I’ll be able to tell.

ImthatBoleyngirl · 23/12/2025 13:43

I hate opening gifts in front of people and I like to open all the presents on Christmas day, so sorry, I think you're YABU

Abracadabra12345 · 23/12/2025 13:42

The fact that he wants to wait makes it even more special

I’ve never opened Christmas gifts in advance and the giver doesn’t expect me to. I mean that’s weird. It’s a Christmas present not a few-days-before/Christmas present

Missey85 · 23/12/2025 13:40

Fuckoffeasypeelers · 23/12/2025 13:30

Eurgh I hate the " I want to see your face" thing
A friend used to do this and it was so me me me and main character , very off putting and stressful to the point I would have preferred no gift at all.
Its lovely to have a little stash of gifts under the tree and to open them on Christmas Day

Exactly why I hate getting presents I never know what I'm supposed to say besides thankyou 😊 ❤️

Missey85 · 23/12/2025 13:37

Sounds like he just wants some gifts to open on the day your his parents that's ok if he wants that why ruin his Xmas? You can wait a few days why does it matter 😊

skybluestars · 23/12/2025 13:36

Flowerslamp · 23/12/2025 13:24

I save anything I get given for Christmas Day because otherwise I'll have nothing to open at Chrisrmas. As an adult there's not much anyway!

This! It’s nice to have a few things to open as an adult on Xmas morning. If I opened everything as I received them from people - I’d have nothing on the morning. I also hate opening presents in front of people.

Pranksters · 23/12/2025 13:35

I only open presents on Christmas Day.

Original poster
Arrien · 23/12/2025 13:35

I just want to say, it’s not a big deal and I’m not suggesting it is! I was just disappointed! We aren’t starting a family war or being controlling! I think it’s fair that I’m allowed to express how I’d do things, they express how they want to do things and we reach a compromise!

OP posts:
4forksache · 23/12/2025 13:32

I’d be disappointed too, but you can’t pressure anyone any more than what you did, so it is as it is. I do understand though.

Fuckoffeasypeelers · 23/12/2025 13:30

Eurgh I hate the " I want to see your face" thing
A friend used to do this and it was so me me me and main character , very off putting and stressful to the point I would have preferred no gift at all.
Its lovely to have a little stash of gifts under the tree and to open them on Christmas Day

Barnestine · 23/12/2025 13:30

Very controlling. Very minor issue in the grand scheme I think.

Createausername1970 · 23/12/2025 13:26

I keep presents until the day, whether that is Christmas, Birthday, Anniversary, Easter etc.

To be honest, your post comes across as being all about you and what you want.

I don't think they did anything wrong.

Flowerslamp · 23/12/2025 13:24

I save anything I get given for Christmas Day because otherwise I'll have nothing to open at Chrisrmas. As an adult there's not much anyway!

Allelbowsandtoes · 23/12/2025 13:24

I love giving gifts, I like to think I choose thoughtfully and its a pleasure to watch people open them - that being said, id never ask them to open a gift in front of me if they wanted to save it.

OP, you sound a bit like my mum and I really dislike the pressure she puts on me sometimes. Something to think about maybe.

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