Opening presents on Christmas Day vs in front of the giver

Either is fine and it's no big deal. If you've gone to the trouble of making sure you've exchanged before Christmas I would expect to wait until Christmas to open.

Personally if I'm forced to receive a present then having to actually open it in front of the person is even worse.

Agree. I gave a friend a present - wouldn’t normally but she had me over for dinner last week. It was not expensive but she couldn’t get it except from me as it’s from where my son lives. I was anticipating her pleasure on opening it! She just put it down and said she’d keep it for later. I felt if I insisted it would make it seem a bigger deal than it was - like I said it wasn’t expensive. But yea I would have liked her to have opened it there and then.

Honestly, my SiL is like this and it makes me feel so awkward. She also says she gets joy from seeing the reaction of the recipient to the gift. But I view this as quite selfish if I'm honest. I put a lot of thought into gifts when buying but don't feel I need the validation from the person I'm giving it to. As a recipient it makes me feel really pressured when she gives me a gift as I know the expectation is that I'll have to look really overexcited and happy, even if the gift isn't something I'd have picked, so it's not even always a genuine response she's after!
Unfortunately my 5yo DS hasn't quite got the hang of empathy yet and didn't hold back at all last Christmas from saying he thought his gift was "boring and babyish", so I then had the added embarrassment of trying to placate SiL when truth be told I kind of agreed with DS!

I hate opening gifts in front of the giver. It really puts you on the spot!

You’re making the gift about you, not about him.
My MIL is like this, insistent we open gifts with them before Christmas if that’s the last time we’ll be with them so she can see and it makes me really uncomfortable.

Oh I find opening gifts in front of the giver painful.
for both parties 🙈

I agree with you OP. You were having a mini Christmas thag day… he’s not a child thag he needs to save them.
I fact I think your DH could have had a quiet word to explain that part of the joy is seeing people open them.

So hardly anything to open on Christmas Day then? I don’t get it. Open everything Christmas Day and then thank the giver by phone/text/card/when you see them.

Also… how many christmases have you had the pleasure of him opening gifts - just focus on that.

My granny used to always insist we opened presents in front of her and she’d make us move to her chosen location so she could see us open whatever gift. I understand the desire but it made it into the most awkward parade. Particularly, as it would always be something not really for me - for example I mention I like a flower in July and it’s a completely different flower set of something that suits her but not me and I think the thought is sweet but it makes me feel so awful and fake. I tried hinting that I do like flowers but not too many or similar.

he probably wanted to save that awful feeling and save any awkwardness for his girlfriend - assuming there isn’t any with you because you’re his mum.

just be really wary of pushing them when they settle down. It’s incredibly easy to push them away.

I can’t believe you said this ‘out loud.’ You know this is a bit needy and you-centric right?

To be fair you also perfectly illustrate why people slip into thoughtless ‘this-will-do’ gift buying. For some people, if they don’t get the boost to their ego from seeing the gift opening, there’s no point putting in effort. Don’t become that person.

Your DH stepped in to save you from embarrassing neediness. Thank him, he’s a good man.

Totally understand! It’s lovely to share the moment. My DCs now video call me as they open their gifts. We kind of got into the habit during birthdays at university. It’s not the same but it’s a great compromise!

This ^ you don’t have to pretend either or hide disappointment🤣

Am sure he and his girlfriend will appreciate all the effort you and your DH went to when they open it on Christmas Day, the important thing is you got to spend time with him before Christmas and it’s his choice when to open it. Have you thought that maybe he wanted to wait until Christmas Day as it’s his first Christmas without you so it feels like you are still part of the day. Surely even with a houseful of guests you can take 10 minutes out to FaceTime your son?

I’ve never opened a gift in front of the giver. I always keep the gifts until the occasion and enjoy opening on the day of occasion. I find it performative and frankly, a lot of pressure, to open in front of gift giver ( I mean, what if they think they got me the best gift ever and I actually hate it?unfortunately my face will show how I feel about a gift before I even open my mouth)

Noooooooo! Utterly cringey.

Sorry yabu. Even you understood that he might have wanted to save it for Christmas Day because he will be swapping gifts Christmas Eve with his girlfriend. He wants to have a piece of his traditional Christmas instead of it being just an excuse to exchange gifts. That’s actually very sweet and as it seems to be his first Christmas away from you it’s probably very important to him to hold on to that. While I understand wanting to see someone open their gifts it’s a little selfish to push and get annoyed when they want to save it for the actual special day.

I hate opening presents in front of people. There’s so much pressure and anticipation on their part it feels very uncomfortable. I’d much rather do it later.

Yes this is basically it. It's hard to no longer be the matriarch of Christmas and learn to take a step back and let them come up with their own traditions. It's harder when they have kids because you have to butt out to a certain degree. I think it's harder with boys as men tend to just follow what their wife does and discard any traditions.

youre being unreasonable, he's not a little kid anymore.
I HATE opening presents in front of others I find it so awkward. Especially if you have a track record of not giving 'great' presents and having to act super happy lol

Oh ffs, let the MAN choose when to open his gift, he's not a child! His partner must be dreading the type of mil you will become with that type of controlling push.

I know I’ll be sad when my daughter is grown and does grown up things like saving her Christmas presents. But I do it now. If I get a present, it goes under the tree so I’ve more to open!

I’m making my daughter save her presents from our Scottish family and my god is it killing her 🤣

@Arrienas a grown up child who tried to avoid my family for a few years to do their own thing I totally get this. They wanted their own thing and you travelled to see them anyway AND tried to force them to open your gifts immediately.

please please give them breathing space or they’ll never want you around Xmas again

Me too. In fact I think I'm worse as I'm seeing family members after Christmas and will still insist that they take their presents home with them and open them in their own time/space to save them any potential arkwardness.

Could be as other people said but could it be his girlfriend’s culture? My oh is from a different culture and gifts are opened privately and he explained it’s seen as rude to open the gift in front of the giver