Opening presents on Christmas Day vs in front of the giver

Why do you want a compromise?

You gave the gifts to him. They are his to do as he pleases with them.
They are Christmas presents, not 23rd of December presents.

He's an adult and has decided this is a boundary of his. Or he and his GF have decided this is the way they will do things from now on. They don't owe you the honour of doing things the way you have always had them done.

Respect the boundary. Do not call for a compromise. That's just you trying to erode a reasonable line in the sand to salvage some sense of winning, at the expense of your son and his girlfriend's vision of Christmas.

Omg ! He’s an adult . Surely the time to watch him open his gifts has passed ! - awkward or what ?

Urgh, we have a relative who never hands over gifts for our dc until after the day when they can see them opening them. This is the same for xmas and birthdays. If they gave amazing gifts I would perhaps understand, but they're often just cash in a card nowadays so really don't understand why they do this.

Not the same scenario obviously, but our dc don't get many things to open on the day so an extra card/gift can really make a difference

I’m with the ‘keep to Christmas Day’ crowd. When I was single and lived away from family my parents would usually just send money so I even used to take the work secret Santa home (despite getting shit for it at work) as a couple of years it was literally the only gift I opened, so I wanted to do it on the day.

Christmas day here, once I hand a present to someone they own it and should be allowed to do what they want with it

YABU- I’m a save for Christmas Day person, otherwise we’d have hardly anything to open.

I hate the whole performance of opening presents in front of the giver and having to be enthusiastic even when the gift is totally inappropriate/clearly meant for someone else.
It was particularly bad one year when we got presents from one family member and every single one contained an ingredient either I or DP is allergic to. When we said, gently, we got 'oh I just thought you didn't like x'

Yabu. I like to save everything for Christmas Day because it's Christmas and that's when you are supposed to open them.

Again, as others have said, that's making it about you.
You'll get the thank you after he opens it. He's not 6 anymore.

I get uncomfortable opening things in front of people. I think it’s stems from childhood in all honesty as my sister is the same. Being stared at and questioned, hoping you’ll say the right thing and put on the right face. It’s backfired many a time over the years and it gives me anxiety. It’s too much for me so I collect my presents and open them on my own with DH. I send thank yous or call the people who give me gifts afterwards.

I hate opening gifts in front of people so always say I’ll save it for Christmas gift when I receive something before hand. In reality I don’t even save the gifts, I open them as soon as I’m alone and then just wait until Christmas Day to thank them, but it’s just less pressure for me that way.

This will be me tomorrow as well. Hate it! Just a constant internal monologue of “am I smiling enough. Does it look forced?”

I actually hate opening gifts in front of the giver. I'm always afraid that I won't react pleased enough for them.

I think asking someone to open their Christmas gift before Christmas or their birthday gift before their birthday is a bit odd if they don’t choose to open it when it’s given to them. If they wanted to do they would have done it. Asking once, when exchanging gifts might just be clarifying whether you’re both opening now or later and avoiding any mixed signals but to ask twice seems a little weird. Especially when your husband felt the need to step in, it just have been awkward (even though you’re saying it’s not a big deal). He clearly didn’t want to open it. It doesn’t really matter if any of us think it’s nicer to do it in front of the gift giver, ultimately it’s the choice of the recipient. I think he’s reached the age where he wants to open his gifts with his partner by his side and share the joy with her. It’s just life and kids getting older. My eldest doesn’t give gifts until she sees us (almost always after the event) and it’s not how I would choose to do it (I always make sure they have theirs before the appropriate day even if that means posting) it but it’s her choice and I accept that.

Mine too. The thing I find weirdest is it’s just normal stuff that everyone buys each other- the expectant look when you open a Micheal Korrs scarf and glove set from TK Maxx is really cringe

shes also nagged people into trying on their clothes presents- there and then- in case she needs to return them, so leave the present opening to go upstairs and try on a dress or similar- and has even taken something away when she judges they don’t like it.

it’s like we’re all suffering from her Xmas anxiety and stress and it’s dominating the day

I really don’t like opening gifts in front of people! And I married in to a ‘take it in turns to open gifts one at a time’ family. Sucks to me me tomorrow!

I hate opening presents in front of people. I’m just instantly incredibly aware of my face and whether I look happy enough, but also not looking fake happy. It makes me really uncomfortable.

But then she can’t find 5 minutes to call her own son Christmas morning to see him open them as she wanted!!!! It seems very selfish, everything in her terms, even though by sparing a few minutes to call she could get the outcome she wished for.

What would the compromise be in this situation?

YAbU. I find it so selfish when people do this- and they do it so vocally and guilt trippy too. You don’t give presents to get your own needs and satisfactions met, they’re supposed to be given without ties.

YABU. While it’s nice to be there when your presents are opened, it’s really sad not to have the presents to open on Christmas Day. Let them enjoy their Christmas.

I think either is fine - if he wants to save your present that's rather sweet.

Other than that, you gotta be a grown up here.

If you bought it for him, its for his happiness then let him have it for Christmas day if he wants.

Its not generous to make the gift about you

YABU

Sounds like the gift you have bought your DS is to make you happy, not him.

My 21yr old is going to his GF’s parents this year (they live together now so alternating has started) and they opened a few bigger gifts yesterday. It was nice to see their reaction and DS has been using his gift this morning.