Would you cut off someone that lied about having a child?

I'd need more context...how much detail had she said about this 'child' and often has she spoken about them, and how did you find out she doesn't have a child?

Edited to add: my gut reaction would be to try and understand why she's done it...partially because I'm nice, but mostly because I'm nosey lol

Why would you cut her off for this? She's obviously troubled in some way but is she a pleasant person to be with, did you like her before this, has she threatened or abused you in any way?

I once met a bloke where he and his girlfriend had created an imaginary child together. They celebrated her 'birthday' and everything. Bit odd, but hey ho, not hurting anyone.

That would make me feel uncomfortable, yes.

I would obviously continue to work with her as normal but distance myself on a social/friendship level.

How do you know this for sure? There are lots of circumstances (death, adoption, estrangement) where this could be a misunderstanding on your part and not necessarily a lie on hers.

Exactly. I mean, I’d worked with a colleague of whom I’m fond for about two years before I realised she had adult children — she’s my age, and as she’d never mentioned having children still living at home, I’d had no idea she’d had two children in her late teens, who were long grown and living overseas by the time I knew her. It made precisely no difference to our working relationship either way.

I would feel sorry for her. She might have had a child or she might have always wanted to have children or she might feel excluded being the only one not having children.
@Spenning Please try to make her feel accepted and included. Whatever reason she had for lying is a very sad reason and nothing you should judge her for. She must feel so embarrassed the poor woman.😥

That was my first thought.

I know of people that do this so at work so they aren’t treated as the childfree/childless colleague that can be expected to work the worst shifts, or otherwise shortchanged because they don’t have children.

How do you know? They may have an ex step child or relative they are as their own child. Maybe a child died or was removed from their care.

You can not assume you know better when it’s a colleague and not someone you know very personally.

I had a colleague who did similar. Talked about partner and DCs. Except it was known (people in the same village) that she lived with her parents. The DCs she talked about were her sister's. She was actually having an affair with her sister's partner (deeply unpleasant and abusive).

TBH I felt sorry for her. Her real life was the opposite of what she had hoped for. Her talking about what was essentially a fantasy life didnt hurt me.

Sometimes when you are older and childless it becomes a trial to keep repeating “yes, I wanted a child, but couldn’t” and therefore it’s easier to make up a grown up child. Less questions are asked and no false sympathy.

Why would you cut her off? She’s a colleague. There will undoubtedly be a reason she said she has a child, and it doesn’t affect your life so who cares?

How did you find out?

Work colleague? Could it be a fictional child so she can get holidays approved easily. Time off for 'childcare' etc..I'd be curious but beyond that I'd ignore.

Definitely more details needed. Is it an entirely made up person, who she has told you details about, or is it a mention of someone who isn't her child, but who she might have had a material relationship with.

Eg. If someone was talking about school plays and she shared an anecdote, it might have just been easier to say "my daughter's nativity" then "my niece who I raised for 6 years while my brother was in prison's nativity"

When I saw the title I assumed it was someone you were dating but it’s just someone you work with? What does it matter to you whether she has kids or not?

How do you know for certain she doesn't? Could she have step child or ex step child?

I'd imagine the person must be having issues or they wished they had kids so kind of shared their fantasy then couldn't back down? Maybe they had many pregnancy losses or even a child that died?

I guess I would be interested to know the reason why they said it. More than wanting to shun or publicly shame them.

She’s a work colleague not a friend? I’d not be saying anything or discussing her personal life with others.

Try and find out why?

'So, Sarah, you've said you've got a kid but I know you haven't. Come on, out with it, was it a stillbirth, a late miscarriage, childhood cancer, murdered by your boyfriend or taken into care?'

How can you cut her off when you work with her?

I would just continue to work with her as normal. If she was someone that I was friends with outside work, I would try to understand why she'd done this before making any kind of decision.

Definitely try and find out why.

Before I had children I suffered from 8 years of infertility. I often would lie about having children to people I knew I'd never see again. I felt ashamed and I hated 'do you have kids?' question. I had two nephews who were like my children so I just talked about them. I'd have been mortified to have been found out.

My lie was to taxi drivers, hairdressers etc. I wouldn't have lied to my colleagues but at the same time I wouldn't judge anyone for lying about this unless it was harmful to me.

I think it depends on the circumstances.

i am a birth mum and a mum- my eldest was adopted so I have no contact but my youngest is in my care. When people ask I always say I have 2 kids- as I do- just one doesn’t live with me. Those close know the situation, but for me I cannot deny my eldest.

Could it be the case that her child was adopted?

Forgive is interesting language. What impact has this lie had on you?