Would you cut off someone that lied about having a child?

Like this?
If she was a friend, it would become more apparent what the situation was and whether she was 'like this' or not.
All you've said is that your colleague lied about having an adult child. I don't think you can draw any conclusions from this one thing.

I sometimes don't want to explain to people that I'm a widow so I don't correct them when they assume I have a husband.

I wouldn't avoid them. There can be all kinds of reasons for people to lie and make stuff up. One of the most common is she feels the odd one out and has been given a hard time in the past for having no kids.

I have no kids, and it still gets brought up a lot and gets tedious! "Why have you got no kids, MungofP?"

I am self-assured enough to just answer truthfully but some people may have wanted kids and can't have them, or are less confident.

How the fuck do you cut off a work colleague? Refuse to work with them? Start excluding them from nights out? Walk out when they enter the room? Yeah, that would get you sacked in very short order in most places.

There’s a person where I work who tells the most outrageous lies. So easy to prove , we just laugh , roll our eyes and say ok. It’s so ridiculous.

I’d assume that there was some sad back story to it

I think I would feel rather sad. And shuffle discreetly away from the situation. Not brave, just that I really do not do drama real or imagined at work.

How do you know there is or was never a child?

If someone asks me about children I always give the number with the child who is no longer with us. I suppose I don't technically have that child anymore, but they are part of the family and always will be and it's important to me they are included. So that could be both true and produce an inconsistency to onlookers.

Unless you know the back story I wouldn’t assume she was lying. There may be details you don’t know. They are unlikely to be happy about the situation.

👍🏻

As I said, black and white. I go on the people I meet, rather than statistics (which are more often than not made up anyway). I'm perfectly safe.

I go on odds to keep myself safe. Odds on most liars are to be avoided.

I would hate to have a black and white view of people in the way that you do - it's so narrow-minded and self-righteous. I have a friend who used to say that her dad worked abroad. He was in prison, for multiple murder. Yes she lied, did it make her dangerous? No, her dad was dangerous and in fact admitting any link with him could have put her at danger. Also why should she have to answer questions about why her father did such horrific things when she herself had no clue? People sometimes have to lie to protect themselves, it's sad if you can't see that. After a decade she told me the truth, I certainly don't think any less of her, in fact I am grateful that she felt able to confide in me.

when I was growing up in the 80s/90s the local hairdresser would talk endlessly about his wife, the holidays they go on, her job, all normal married talk. He was gay, and single, but was worried that would put off clients so created this whole imaginary life instead.

so I would like to think about the reasons why she’s lied

Agree with PP. Having to go to the funeral of a son or daughter would be awful whatever age this was. You might only recount the good memories

In the late 1980’s I worked with someone who made up a story about their teen aged child having and then dying of cancer. She had time off during all this and bereavement leave until the lie was discovered. It was my first job and I was of similar age to made up child and remember thinking how strange. She left/was sacked and there were stories circulating about her having treatment for mental health issues

Has she admitted that she completely made this person up? I'd be interested in her reasons, if she's sharing them. If she's made up elaborate stories, asked for advice about her child, and/or used the child as a prop to get coworkers to behave differently (e.g., asking someone to cover while she attends her daughter's wedding) I'd be annoyed. Overall, though, since it's a colleague I'm friendly with an not a close personal friend, and the fact that she has a child or doesn't wouldn't have influenced the friendship, I'd probably be wary of her but remain friendly at work. I wouldn't cut her off - you'll still have to communicate and somewhat get along professionally no matter what.

I would tread very carefully here, 'inventing' being.a parent can happen for so many reasons, some true - miscarriage, stillbirth, baby who died, ex step child, was a foster parent, helped raise niece/nephew, etc. If there was never a child at all, women who totally fabricate usually have a lot of grief about not being a parent.

I'd not gossip about it and simply accept there may be more of a bacķ story than you ķnow and be extra ķind about it.

I think its possibly more likely this lady has suffered the loss of a child or a stillbirth and still referee to that child as if there still here. Or perhaps there referring to a niece nephew who they view as there own they could even be a kinship carer.

Did anyone ever lie about having a boyfriend just to fit in. When you are 20s and everyone is going loads of places with their boyfriends. When you say you have no boyfriend they go aww, fake sympathy. They treat you as less than them because of having no boyfriend.

Are you sure it isn't the same for her,?

I was wondering if this was the reason.

Op is there someone who she has become a mother figure too, step child, friends child, a foster child, a care leaver who she's befriended, who doesn't have any other family?

Are you certain she doesn't have a child?

It seems a weird thing to lie about. Or its a complicated arrangement that she can't be bothered to explain.