Would you drop this friend

Tbf then its partly your own fault if theyre sending cards and asked for your address and you didnt give it.

If shes sending say 80 cards I can understand why she might forget to text if she lacked 1 address amongst the 79 cards she did send

Expecting you to travel back from a party by yourself as a competent adult really isn't dodgy. Nor is not texting you to check you got home safely the next day. Some people do, some don't, but it's not a big deal either way. Her friend changing her mind was outside of her control - and I wouldn't have given it a thought either, because I would have assumed you were capable of navigating public transport on your own as an adult. If you weren't, the responsibility is on you to say so and ask for help.

Ditto with the thank you cards/texts - it's a very Marmite type thing on here, very polarised between "it's so rude not to, you must!" and "life has moved on, it's pretty old fashioned and not required".

Presumably you give a gift to celebrate your friend -so her enjoyment ought to be the main thing, not your need for expressions of gratitude or validation.

Try just assuming that your friend is of the other type to you, and not getting offended at something that likely has zero intent, zero thoughtlessness and zero ill-feeling behind it.

You clearly do have lots of resentment "Doesn't seem to care about my feelings" - when actually, that only stands up if:

1. She has all the same beliefs as you about "the right way to behave" in these incidents
2. She is intentionally not doing "the right" thing

What's far more likely is that she has different beliefs, has zero bad intentions, and it's just never occurred to her that you would feel that way.
You'd feel better in life generally if you endeavoured to understand that people might see life differently and not take those differences personally.

Dump her then as you obviously have resentments.

She also said she’d have to get your address to send you a thank you card. You seem to be ignoring that bit. Then you didn’t give her your address. Why did you not just send your address then you’d be justified if she still didn’t thank you?

So what exactly were you expecting? Most people would, quite reasonably, expect a grown adult to be able to catch a train/tube/bus independently unless there were significant learning difficulties involved.

I think a week after the wedding is a bit soon to expect thank you notes. You did take a nice gift and there should have been one, but later. But you didn't give her your address. Is she supposed to extract it from your brain by telepathy?

The tubes, well it was half 11 at night, i'd been drinking and navigating getting across London on your own in a strange city that time of night can be quite scary, especially when some lines were shut.

Girl. You're a grown woman and you can't find your way around public transport and what did you expect her to do, escort you home on her birthday? I found the London tube system really easy to navigate. If you were so drunk you couldn't figure it out, you could have used Lyft or one of those services. And it was 6 years ago. That's a long time to hold a petty grudge.

I think you should distance yourself because you don't seem to like her.

So... what's the actual problem then?! If you weren't expecting them to see you home, why are you annoyed that they didn't?

She’s very rude not to say thanks in the text

For my big birthday I recieved some lovely gifts, I messaged everyone to say thank you straight away

Just because that's what you decided to do, that doesn't mean people who leave it a couple of weeks are being rude. There's no official timescale to thank people.

Regardless of whether their wedding was 'some lavish affair' or not, it's still very normal for a couple to have a bit of time to themselves to chill after a wedding, even if they don't have a honeymoon.

But for all you know, it would have occurred to her to say thank you - we'll never know, because the OP texted her to demand a thank you only a week after the wedding. She may well have been planning to sit and message/send cards to everyone soon, or she may have been planning to have the afternoon tea and then say 'We've just been for our afternoon tea and we had such a lovely time, thank you so much' afterwards. But the OP didn't wait to find out. And then didn't provide her friend with an address for the thank you card - even though the friend literally told her she would need it in order to send one.

This happened SIX YEARS AGO and you're still on about it now? Not only was it six years ago, but it was also a complete non-event. You're a grown woman and it was up to you to sort your travel. It was her birthday, not yours. Of course you shouldn't have expected her to accompany you home if she wanted to stay out.

Whether you're from London or not, the Tube isn't difficult to navigate. The maps and signage are extremely clear.

But she's already told you how much she's looking forward to it by text. Why does she need to send you another text to repeat herself? The thanks is implied, no? And she's given you the offer of a formal thank you card, but you've not provided your address.

She probably would have texted you, when she was sending thank yous to everyone else who bought her a gift, but you texted her before she had a chance - because you apparently think a week is too long after a wedding for someone to get round to doing their thank yous. She then replied to acknowledge the gift. What else did you want? Another text?! You're being weird.

Even if she had forgotten to thank you, ditching a friend over that one thing would be mad.

It was only a week after the wedding when you texted her. When you texted her, she acknowledged the gift and said she was looking forward to the afternoon tea. Did you expect an additional text from her after that to thank you again?! If she doesn't have your address, presumably you weren't expecting a card in the first place, only a text. You got a text from her in response to yours. Why do you then need another one?

You didn't 'have to' text her to get a thank you from her - you chose to. By texting her only a week after her wedding fishing for thanks, you preempted any thank you she might have been planning to send. She didn't thank you unprompted because you only gave her a week before you prompted her.

Blimey, the London (non)incident was SIX YEARS ago, and you're still bearing a grudge?

... There's maps all over the underground and you can use Google maps which tells you how to navigate it. I'm not from London and have never expected any help from my friends there on how to navigate what is quite a well signposted system. Did you tell her that you were uncomfortable and would struggle with this or did you just expect her to know? Because I'm not sure many people would expect another adult to struggle with it.

Sorry but you don’t text thank you a week later then send thank you cards. Thank yous should be sent out within 5-6 weeks after the wedding latest. My sil got so rude with me about my lack of thank yous. But I was dealing with a terminally ill dad, a house move and a toddler. She received her thank you one month after the wedding. I wanted my photos back so I could use them on the card- that took 28 days. I think you’re being a bit uptight about this. She said they weee sending thank you cards

I agree with you OP, it’s rude. I think it just doesn’t occur to some people to say thank you, unfortunately. I’ve been to a couple of weddings where that’s happened. I guess it might be to do with upbringing. It was drilled into me to say thank you for gifts.

Ok I’m going to say it

YABU

For the reasons:

1. you messaged just a week after the wedding about your gift you gave, most people are on honeymoons or are still processing the wedding, busy and sorting bits out enjoying newly married life. I might go is even far to say that she may have taken your messages a dig, “hope you enjoy your afternoon tea” she might be thinking hang on it’s only been a week. I haven’t even got round to giving out thank you’s yet!

2. She said to you that she’s looking forward to it and ask for your address to send you a thank you. You’ve complained that she didn’t send you a thank you and have ADMITTED TO NOT GIVING HER YOUR ADDRESS. The capitals because I can’t believe you are asking if YABU when you are part of the reason if not the main reason that you haven’t received a thank you card because you didn’t supply your address.

The gift was lovely that you gave and of course I’m a big believer of thanking guests for their generous gifts but, expecting a thank you a week later and not supplying your address… it just sounds like you expect a big hoo haa of a thank you instead of just realising you don’t give to get a reaction back