Would you drop this friend

It’s a lovely present. When is the voucher valid until?

Because isn’t it possible that she just hasn’t used it yet because it’s ‘only’ been 3 months since the wedding, and was going to say thank you and how lovely it was after she’d actually had it?

You sound quite rigid OP. People have different communication preferences and it sounds like you prefer texts when she was hoping to send you a thank you card. Its ok to have a preference but it's better to be flexible with others rather than expecting them to conform to your way of communicating.

You should have just given her your address for a card.

Did she say thank you on the day when you handed it over?

Because if its a 20 guest wedding and v casual. Maybe it was so casual she decided not to send thank you cards.

And when you fished for a thank you she did say she was really looking forward to it. Shes not ungrateful. And she said shed need your address which you forgot to send.

However she did in fact not say thank you in writing. And I dont think its terrible if you would prefer she had. So talk to her? Tell her that? If shes this great friend you bought an expensive gift for?

It might be rude to not say thank you in writing. But its unkind to end a friendship instead of talking to the friend because one time they we rude (and 6 years ago, they didnt pause their birthday party to check you go a tube home)

But honestly you owe noone your friendship so feel free to "drop" her if you want to, you dont need approval.

"Promised" 💀

I think she isnt responsible for seeing you home safely. You had a plan, and the person you planned with changed their mind. Which a. Theyre entitled to and b. Grown up you should be able to navigate a change of plans. Would it have been considerate to text and check? Sure. But considering it was her bday night out she was likely drunk herself. And some people may have found it patronising to assume you would struggle with a tube route.

Youre entitled to end any friendships you like, for any reason or none

But in 6 years she forgot one thank you card (that she had asked for an address for and you didnt reply with it) and didnt check you got home from a night out 6 years ago. I wouldnt have a. Held onto the night out thing from 6 years ago or b. Consider it friendship ending worthy.

If it bothered me, id certainly tell her and talk about how I felt.

But imo if you haven't raised it with her to try and sort it i dont think those things are reasons to end a friendship.. although if you dont want to be her friend you dont need a reason

I wouldn't have texted after a week, I would have let them enjoy their newly married love bubble for longer. It feels pushy to me. But seeing as you did it. Why didn't you just respond with? 'That would be lovely - my address is X'? Would have been the obvious time to share it then? Plus the tone of her text was thankful, even if she didn't explicitly say those exact words.

The last wedding I went to, I got a card thanking me six months later because life is busy for some people - it didn't put my nose out of joint at all. I'm not sure why you mentioned the amount, if you can't comfortably afford it then choose something cheaper to gift. People's gratitude isn't on a variance scale according to how much you spend after all...

Also not sure about the evening in London anecdote - sometimes plans change and East London to St Pancras is a well-worn route for many commuters. It's easy, not complicated and there are plenty of trains. It would have been nice to receive a text to check you were back safely, but maybe they just considered you perfectly competent to make the journey and it's not something they ordinarily do with other adult friends.

This all seems to boil down to the fact that you feel you do more/you communicate more (and better) with her than she does with you. If you feel the friendship is unbalanced then maybe it is better to end it - but do so with grace, this idea of 'dropping' someone sounds brutal and punishing.

You didn’t give her your address! How could she send a card?

It sounds like it might just be her op. Are they less well off than you? It was a very generous gift for just being invited to the evening. Id let it go and wait for her to make next contact.

Time to ghost this so called friend op!

she doesn’t appreciate you and nor does she seem to care about you in the slightest

I don't understand why you'd want thanked. They paid for you to come to the reception, you gave them a present. Deal done surely. Be happy for them no thanks is needed surely.

Sorry OP but you do sound like just a bit of a fusspot. Texting after a week is very needy. Most people would send a photo of themselves having the tea, whenever that might be (could well be months) or as others have said, perfectly usual to send handwritten thank yous some months after the event.

I also agree it was overly generous financially for an evening invite to a pub reception and a gift that wouldn’t be right for everyone. It’s true, as a pp said, some vouchers do end up being a bit of a burden.

I’d just match her energy and try to relax about it all a bit.

But as far as you knew she may have been writing individual notes or cards.

You appear to have overspent on the present and then got arsey and sent a passive-aggressive ‘Where's my thanks?’ message. Very poor manners on your part.

She said she was looking forward to it. Presumably she'll send a thank you once she's actually done it?

You shouldn't have spent that much if you're struggling. Unfortunately she might not be aware that it's such a big expense for you.

No, it's considered by a reasonable number of people to be old fashioned to think it important/necessary to send thank you cards or even texts.

If you e.g. gave a gift at a 121 meet up, then say thank you then.

At a wedding, people are busy with, you know, getting married.
So for those of us who don't care, we'd think "I'm happy for them they're having a nice time, I'm pleased they invited me, I hope they enjoy the gift". End of. And wouldn't think a moment about whether they specifically said thank you or not, because I think well of my friends and don't need them to act a certain way to validate me.

I find it quite telling that that is the only part of my reply which you responded to.

You expect her to remind you to send your address after she's asked you to and you didn't? Pot, kettle.

I agree with this.

A casual wedding s casual and won’t follow all the traditional wedding rules.

I’d be surprised to get a “hope you enjoy my present” text one week after receiving it, especially as it’s an experience gift.

For heaven’s sake, OP. Even Debretts says thank you cards should be sent ‘within three months’ of the wedding.