Would you drop this friend

Really why is her friendship so important to you? She doesn’t seem very kind or considerate to you, has different priorities. I wouldn’t give her any more headspace. I doubt she will invite you to anything, but be busy if she does and concentrate on widening your circle.

Honestly OP you do sound like you are very inflexible, think that your way is the right way and everyone should stick to your idea of standards.

It does seem you were fishing for gratitude after overspending on a gift for a former workmate at a casual wedding and because she didn’t fawn over you with gushing thanks, you’ve copped the hump and looking for reasons to feel aggrieved.

Your updates all do scream ‘me me me me me’ and justifying why you’re right and she’s wrong

I don’t think this woman can go right for doing wrong in your mind so just fade the friendship - it doesn’t sound like it’ll be a great loss to either of you.

Honestly you sound vulnerable and angry and wanting to lash out. And if youve had a breakdown and fallen out with your best friend over something substantial its no wonder. But reactively culling your circle may make it worse not better.

If you haven't told this friend how and whys hurt you id do that first

Multiple posting glitch.

Multiple posting glitch

Multiple posting glitch

Multiple posting glitch

Has it occured to you that these multiple friendship failures might be a "you" problem rather than a "everybody else but you" problem. Because you are the common denominator here, and you come across as very inflexible and demanding, and I can see how you might be difficult to get along with.

Dare I ask what?

I think this is the point tho. Best friend was awful. This ones been a bit inconsiderate at best. Its not the same. Id talk to your friend about feeling taken for granted and if she doesnt care maybe then end the friendship.

But I wouldnt just drop her if youre reeling for a recent hurt

Is that because you hold grudges and cut people off for inconsequential things like this?

W in your 40’s, OP. This is teenage behaviour. The fact that so many people think YABU ought to tell you something. Perhaps what you ought to be reassessing for the new year is your attitude and how you approach friendships.

Well, then, surely it’s time to ask yourself why you continue friendships with people you don’t like and who don’t appear to treat you particularly well, and/or why you don’t communicate clearly with them about hurts they’ve caused you, just seethe inwardly, post on the internet and drop them?

Was one of them from the friend in this post?

Duplicate post

So again imo.. sometimes people pick bad friends and tolerate unacceptable treatment. Then when they stand up for themselves they react overly harshly with other connections.

I dunno what this best friend did, but for whatever reason you ended your friendship. And its made you think youve been too soft and let too much slide so are now racing the other way. Maybe this best friend needed dropping sooner.. that doesnt mean anyone whos ever offended you or taken you for granted needs dropping too. And you may be responding to these 2 events with this current friend disproportionately.

Honestly drop them all if you like but I doubt youd feel better. My advice would be tell this current friend shes hurt your feelings and why.

Couple of instances years a part you haven't raised with her dont make her an awful friend.

People that give gifts in return for thank yous are the worst.

You want some glory out of it, that’s not what gifts are for.

I had a 130 people at my wedding, did I write than all handwritten thank you cards? God no! I went on honeymoon, that went back to work full time.

I would assume my friends and family know I love them and I’m thankful for them coming that’s why I invited them! AND treated them to a canapés and drinks reception and a 3 course meal and an evening disco and more food and free drinks all night.

it’s not about you, it’s about them.

Only two people wished you happy birthday? Then how do these two bits make sense?

"For my big birthday I recieved some lovely gifts, I messaged everyone to say thank you straight away because I never expect gifts and they were lovely."

"After my birthday I managed to send thank you texts and I have young dc and a full time job."

So two texts?! In all honesty I think I get where you are at - big birthdays totally make you assess where you are in life, what matters and what doesn't. Is that what is happening here?

I have a whole heap of friends - four who are massively close and I would do anything for - others who kind of float around and are connected to my hobbies, or are from my previous jobs, or who I tend to connect with at certain points in the year. We float away and come back - there's never any hard feelings, it's just the ebb and flow of life. If she's a floating friend then I really wouldn't 'drop' her (as per your title), I would just accept that the tide is going out now and if it comes back in then that's great, if not then that's fine too. You don't need to overthink it or be so rigid in what a friend should/shouldn't do. Friendships come in all shapes and sizes.

I'm going to a wedding in October of a friend I haven't seen for the best part of a decade! In that time I have lived abroad, she's got divorced, met someone new, I still live in a different country to her. Can't wait to see her and so lovely that she has invited me to be part of her celebrations.

I already cut of my best friend this year so it's been shite.

Are you getting a little trigger happy, shedding friends like this? Don't you think it might be your inflexibility that's causing you problems?

Ok. I agree she was rude. If thats a deal breaker drop her.

But sacking off a friend of 6+ years without warning is to me disproportionate. So is it really about a thank you text? And maybe a tube ride 6 years ago? Because if it is - and youd rather drop her than tell her shes made you feel unappreciated and fix it. Well imo shes been rude but youre being cold and unkind.