Do you even like your adult sibling?

I cant stand my sister and her family

My brother died on Wednesday. I loved him dearly.

I adore my sister. We couldn’t be more different but she’s the other half of me. We speak at least once a day and I don’t know what I would do without her

Love my sister dislike my brother

Don't hate him, but not got much in common. Really only bother now round Christmas etc, but get on ok when we're thrown together. Only people I can think of who are close to their siblings are the same sex, and close in age. Can't think of anyone I know who's particularly close with a sibling of the opposite sex, or with a large age gap. Though most are like me and get along ok for family stuff, but don't have much relationship outside of that.

This is me and my brother too. Absolutely nothing in common but there is a love there.

No I didn't. And my only sibling has just died. Im cold about that apart from the impact to our living parent. I also cannot share in real life that this death benefits me. In many ways. I probably will seek counselling on this point alone. To be relieved that your sibling has died is a little extreme.

My sister is one of my favourite people in the world. She wasn't growing up but over the years is more and more important to me.
The same thing has happened with my parents and their siblings. In their 80s they are now all each other's best friends.

I could have written your post, it’s exactly how I feel about my sibling. Things blew up last year because they crossed the line with family. I’m under pressure to reconcile from family members to make the peace be the bigger person, they are making the effort now etc. but the effort is minimal, it’s only for show, I do not trust them because they have not acknowledged or apologised for their actions. And their actions were the ultimate shitty behaviour- think not acknowledging disabled family members. They don’t share my values and have crossed the ultimate boundary with me. When we were younger I always accepted their attitudes and appeased them believing that family ties were so important.

now I will accept their attitudes olive branch, but there’s no roots their, no remorse, no action, no accountability. So we can be cordial, polite, friendly but I will only match their efforts I will never expect a close relationship with them again.

I’m not sure what I’m being asked to vote on here….

I used to be very close to my sister and would’ve said we were great friends but things happened and now I have accepted that she’s my sister but not my friend. And that’s ok!

Has he seen your younger brother?

I have a brother and a sister. Brother is great, older and was always supportive and kind from teen years on. Lovely sense of humour, generous and warm.

He left home for uni and then lived abroad for many years so the relationships with my sister became closer, unfortunately. She is deranged and makes my life a misery. Hides it from everyone, including our brother, so I'd look like the mad, evil one if I ever brought up the vile things she's said and done to me over the years.

Have finally realised she isn't my responsibility and will be keeping her very much at arms length from here on in. 30 years into adulthood I thinks now it's me who's deranged if I keep thinking she's going to grow out of it.

My brothers are wonderful. I can't imagine life without them. We have great fun together, and I haven't argued with either of them since we were children.

I love my sister to bits and miss her terribly. She lives abroad so I only get to see her one or two times a year. I hope that changes in future. We are two peas in a pod! We are very close in age but she treats me like a kid and endlessly pampers me. Always buys me expensive presents when she travels on work and tells me all the gossip back home so we can have a laugh! Can’t imagine my life without her! So supportive, kind and lovely!

Absolutely - I love all three of my sibling - but if you have to make a sort of effort at any relationship - friends/spouses/relations

I secretly love all of mine and wish we saw more of each other but sadly they think I’m a bit annoying and boring. I probably am to be fair. I love it when we do see each other but I find it totally exhausting.

That’s so sad, maybe she felt bad for leaving you.

1 younger brother, we got on fine through childhood, really close in our 20's, lived together for a few years out of choice. He was really supportive when I married my DH (and they get on really well) and through health challenges with our oldest, and is a great uncle. But his now wife is controlling and very possessive of him, and he tends to go along with what she wishes for an easy life - he lacks confidence in himself I think and she uses that to her advantage. He tends to visit us without her, and when we visit she usually has 'an emergency' which means she isn't there, same with my parents, who are the kindest most generous people. It's a shame, I wish better for him, but any attempt to discuss drives a bigger wedge between us. I love him deeply, but there is an element of sadness for the relationship we once had I think, and I know my parents feel the loss too.

I’m really lucky love my siblings to bits all very individual to each other and have chosen different life styles.

maybe that’s why it works.

I have a twin brother who I love very very much. We'd not spent much time together since we were children, but I spent 2 months with him earlier this year while our mum was ill. He is a wonderful wonderful person and someone who I trust implicitly. I miss him, he's coming over in Feb and I can't wait to see him.

Double post

I admire my siblings greatly. Don't dislike either of them but we do have quite different values on a lot of things. They're also very different to each other but we're all civil when we're together. When we visit each other it can get a bit awkward after a few days but I bite my tongue (and count my blessings).

Love my sister dearly, but she moved to the other side of the world and doesn’t call me. Then it was awkward when she last visited. So, pretty sad really.

I have three siblings. I get on best with the youngest (I'm the oldest). We're both women. I have two brothers who are more problematic. I wouldn't say I dislike them exactly but they are both really annoying in different ways. One is more annoying than the other.

I think the real answer is 'it's complicated'.