Do you even like your adult sibling?

I love my brother. I'd be heartbroken if anything happened to him. But no i don't particularly like him. We have very different values. I think hes a shit parent, but he probably thinks the same about me. He's a misogynist, racist and homophobic. Money matters more to him than anything. Im the complete opposite.

I’m not particularly fussed either way. We can go for long periods of time without contact and it suits us fine. She has very different views on life than I have and is obsessed with creating a perfect image for her social media but I’m extremely private so I tend to keep her at arms length so I don’t end up being part of her content.

I like both of mine but we aren’t close. They are close with each other, bit of a three is a crowd situation I think.

I have very minimal contact with my siblings. It’s almost like we’ve been bought up in a different family. Not just values but how we conduct ourselves.

my sister got with a 30 yo man when she was 16. My mom being a single mom just didn’t have any control & despite calling police when she went out with him she learnt very early doors that legally there was nothing to be done about it. So despite hating it she accepted this man into our lives. What followed was years & years of hell. He was an abusive alcoholic that thought nothing of trying it on with me when I was 17 locking my mom out the house as he tried to corner me in a room. Luckily the neighbour heard the commotion & threatened him. I was lucky as he didn’t get close to me but he was chasing me round the house & trying to get into the room I barricaded myself in. My sister blamed me for being a tease. He threatened my 14yo brother just to intimidate us. Broke windows etc.

she eventually left him after 6 kids. Yet her life is drama, drama & more drama since. My poor mom was put through the wringer with her & when she died I found I was having to pick up the pieces for her to jump from one problem to another. Never seeing that she is very much the cause of most her woes. I had to cut contact. She’s an all consuming beast. She makes friends easily enough but if that person has a normal life she will dump them saying they’re boring. She wants to be friends with fellow train wrecks.

My only brother and I have never had an argument or disagreement in our lives, but this is partially due to him being 9 years older than me and being a glamorous, charming figure during my childhood when I saw him as one of the adults. He was so kind and generous towards me and gave me excellent advice in my early career.

We’ve always been in touch, though both have moved around, and the relationship has changed into me being more of a sounding board giving ( asked for ) advice to him.

It’s been interesting lately comparing our different takes on our childhoods and our parents’ rocky marriage. I would have liked, at times, another sibling in between our ages for more companionship - we grew up almost as only children - but I wouldn’t have changed him for the world.

I am extremely close with both my adult sisters, class them as my best friends. We’re 42, 40 & 38 now and closer than ever. I’d be lost without them, truly.

My brother and sister are the two best people in the world. We see each other at least every couple of weeks and my sister and I WhatsApp daily.

That’s not my experience at all. Most of my friends see their siblings all the time especially those who have sisters. DP talks to his sister at least once a week and we see them at least 6 times a year and they live 300 miles away. I’m struggling to think of anyone that I know who has very little contact with their siblings

I was bullied by my only sister throughout our childhood. She made it very clear that she didn't want anything to do with me. But I do actually feel for her, because she was obviously lacking during her own childhood.

When I started going to the senior school she was already at, she told me not to go near her or tell anyone that I was her sister. I've never forgotten that, as well as all the other things she used to do to hurt me.

We rarely see each other now. I made a huge effort to be involved with her 4 DC during their childhood, and I'm glad I did that.

I find it a tense atmosphere when I'm in her company.

DM says she wasn't aware of the extent of the bullying. Who knows?

It is lovely to hear all the positive stories on this thread 😊

I have one younger sister, she has a busy life. I will phone and text every couple of weeks but she either doesn't answer or does but has conversations with her DC (all adults) at the same time and is in a fluster. Texts are normally unanswered.

Haven’t spoken to one brother in over 8 years. I spent all my childhood and most of my adulthood protecting him from the unreasonable demands of our parents. I then saw him treat his own kids in similar ways and not protect them from an alcoholic mother or dreadful step mother and I had to step away to protect my own sanity. My DM thinks this is all my fault. Realised other brother couldn’t give a shit so I stopped contacting him to see what happened. Unsurprisingly I haven’t spoken to him since last Christmas. My mum also doesn’t contact me unless she wants something. It’s a very sad situation and I realised I was the social glue holding my family together in a semblance of normality. As soon as I stopped doing this it all fell apart. I dread this happening with my kids.

I adore mine. We all live across the countty but make an effort to meet up in the middle at my parents regularly (every school holiday for a weekend). We are all going to one brothers for xmas. We talk most days on WhatsApp, tag each other in silly stuff on social media and favorite every couple of weeks so the kids can speak to au ties and uncles and cousins. I'd go as far to say as my brothers and their wives are my best friends.

Very close to my sister, even if we weren’t related I think she’d still be a friend. We laugh together a lot and have similar values and interests.

I love my sister a lot. Not a whole lot in common but we are a close family so we interact more as a family unit rather than the two of us and thats fine. We love each other's kids and when a parent is sick we will call each other to give support. I live in another country to the others so she will need support as the parents age and I'll do my best.

V close to one and close to another. Non contact with one ( his choice) and non contact with another ( my choice)

I absolutely love my brother. Although he’s older, I’ve spent a lot of my life having to care for him- the storyline in Love Actually is painfully similar. Now he is well and for many years has been my biggest ally, the best Uncle ever, my protector and my biggest fan. He still drives me mad sometimes but he’s the happiest I’ve ever seen him now and he only ever brings joy to my life.
Sounds over the top but I’ve nearly lost him so many times and there has been so much darkness in the past, that I appreciate everything about him now.

Love them, don't always like them. Disagree with them quite vehemently on a fair few topics. However, we are there for each other whenever sibling support is needed.

It’s almost as though you help them enough times that when you draw the line, you’re the bad one. This is what it was like with my sister and she wouldn’t take no for ab answer when I drew the line.

Careful who you save, some people with drown you.

My older sister plays mind games with us, turns up ridiculously late etc. We invite her because otherwise she'd be alone. She went down the 'free Palestine' rabbit hole years ago, she got overly involved with Trans rights (which she's now done a turn around on)(insert any, ill thought out, other badwagon) and wonders why her MH is bad. Considering we are from African background, I do puzzle why she ignores the Congo/Sudan/women's rights in Uganda/Nigeria etc.

Nah not really. I don’t actively dislike them really, but if we were colleagues rather than sisters, we wouldn’t be friends. I’d view them as mildly annoying but tolerable.

Not particularly, we were never close as kids and her main topic of conversation seems to be slagging people off who I’ve never met which I have no time for.
We get on the best we ever have because I no longer rise to it when she tries to wind me up and I hold my boundaries (I have asked her to leave my house before due to how she was behaving, she’s not been as bad since).
The balance of power has shifted in my favour and she knows it so she generally behaves decently when she’s here (twice a year, max!)

I could have written this. Dysfunctional family, parents who let us (and each other) down at almost every turn. Doesn’t lay the foundations for future healthy relationships. My eldest brother and I fought like cat and dog growing up, he was so selfish (and still is), and bullied me to watch whatever he wanted on our only tv, wouldn’t lend me his things. I was so generous and put others first, so our values haven’t aligned since we were younger. It’s civil but forced and he makes less effort than me.

my other brother has so many problems I wouldn’t know where to start, kind heart but eating problem (morbidly obese), doesn’t have a single friend and hasn’t done for decades, one gf in his lifetime but many years ago now. I feel really really really sorry for him and the guilt I have eats away at me everyday of my life. Has no social or communication skills, just talks over everyone and will raise his voice until the other person backs down, can be quite short tempered. Hard to speak to or be around and frankly, told me years ago he doesn’t want my sympathy, so I’ve tried to not get too involved but I don’t see how he can turn things around. It’s so sad.

my sister. Boy oh boy. I’ve written many threads on here about her. I wouldn’t know where to start. Endless cycle of relationships that fail, money problems, in debt, no money to rent long term so is in/out flat shares and asking to move in with me (again) is entitled and ungrateful once she does get her foot through the door. We do not speak.

our dad died and no one has a real relationship with mum. She’s an alcoholic. Believe it or not we were privately educated and went through spells of having money and then not as kids, it all starts at home. It’s a mess. Im happier without them but grieve the family I see others having. The normal family, this thread gives me comfort.

I love my DB and am only sorry he lives at the other end of the country and is in poor health. He sometimes surprises me by driving up to see me on a whim and it is so lovely to see him (and his fabulous wife). Wish I could see more of them both - maybe this year!

Sadly no. We are very different people, absolutely nothing in common. She has significant MH issues, which I have tried over the years to be supportive/understanding of but its just never ending and she refuses to seek help. I've had to step back for the sake of my own MH.

People often seem to fret about wanting to give an only child a sibling. But it really is a roll of the dice whether that sibling would be a blessing or a burden in later life! A lot of adult siblings I know are just neutral to each other. I don't think it's that common to be super close.

I have a brother. We don't have a lot in common and don't see each other often, but I know we'd be able to rely on each other in an emergency.