DH going to the gym on Christmas Day!

This is absurd. Going to the gym for 90 minutes =acting like a single man with no responsibility? Being the host - having a meal with in laws?

How do you know he's leaving her to do all the work? Not everyone has a traditional Christmas dinner - my family certainly don't. We don't sit prepping and chopping.

So if he went to the gym today mid morning - that would be fine - but if he did it on Christmas day - that's him opting out of fatherly and hosting duties?

If he was out on the lash every night - opting out of family responsibility. Going to the gym for 90 minutes on Christmas day doesn't make someone a bad father

Plenty of people do it.

He's going for an hour and a half. It's not a huge amount of time. Why should he need to be up chopping and prepping so that he can go to the gym for 90 minutes

The OP said he was going mid morning

What her H is doing is the equivalent to what usd to be the norm: going to the pub on Christmas day while the women stayed at home and did all rhe meal preparations while supervising the over excited children.

He is opting out of being a husband and father and leaving OP to do all the work at home whilst looking after his child and being the host to their visitors.

He is behaving like a single man with no responsibility or obligation.

This will be the first. Christmas his child will be actively aware of and he is more interested in meeting up with his pals to enjoy himself rather than watching his child's enjoyment and actually behaving like a parent invested in family life.

I think maybe it’s acceptable if he goes at a convenient time, and has earlier cleared a certain amount of the Christmas tasks so as not to put a burden on you.

So if he gets up 1.5 hours before everyone else and eg peels all the veg ready for the lunch, gets things prepped etc, and maybe gets everything set up for breakfast, then it could work.

I was going to say not acceptable if you have either DC or guests, but then thought maybe this is a work around.

Just buggering off and coming back when others have done the work parts of Christmas isn’t on though.

I agree with this

And all the posters saying "a woman wouldn't do this..." In spite of the fact many posters have actually said they do similar on Christmas day

So is he cooking or are you? If he goes and then comes back and cooks I think I’d be ok with that. If he’s expecting you to host and cook whilst he’s out then no, if definitely not he ok with him disappearing for that length of time.

Forget the borderline…this is emotionally abusive.

To suggest someone doesn’t care about their child because they are spending 1.5 hours away from them is batshit.

Would you feel the same if a parent did two 45 minutes dog walks on Christmas Day? Like many will. Or if they popped over to see a relative for an hour or 2 leaving a small child at home in comfort with their new toys instead of dragging them out?

Some people don't celebrate Christmas - for religious reasons - it's just another day. When I worked in pure gym the gym certainly wasn't empty on Christmas or new years day

In Scotland pure gyms are manned on Christmas day and staff get the option of doing shifts during the night - if cleaners are on holiday. There's always someone in the building in Scottish pure gyms 24/7 365 days a year

What an utterly ludicrous take.

He’ll be spending 22.5 hours of Christmas Day with his wife, child and in laws. Spending 1.5 hours at the gym does not mean prefers his friends, his wife doesn’t count and she’s low on the pecking order. It’s borderline abusive to be this emotionally manipulative.

Well, you haven't given a lot of context - but I'll play and guess that he has a 19-month old, doesn't do his fair share of childcare or housework, you don't get equal leisure time, he regularly spends a lot of time at the gym, he isn't doing the buying of presents, wrapping of presents, and won't be in the kitchen prepping food before or on Christmas day?

I'm just guessing that it might be something like that because otherwise, I imagine you wouldn't so peed off at this. If the situation is something like, then yes, he is being unreasonable and you have every right to be annoyed.

If it's not really like that, I might have a different opinion!

I'm not Catholic. I just don't know anyone who is who celebrates Christmas like this

On the fence a bit here. I am planning on going to Christmas parkrun.
however I’m somewhat unusually not cooking this year which basically gives me a free morning. My children are older so after the initial 7am present opening session
i suspect both will disappear until it’s time to leave to go to BiL’s house

I think it's a bit tragic going to the gym on christmas day 😂

Is he trying to get a bit of peace? I generally go for an hour long walk after dinner (once the cleaning up is done) on Christmas day, whether we're with my family or DPs. I want to enjoy my evening with the people I love, and if I haven't had that hours peace and quiet, then I'm just going to spend the whole time feeling the need to escape.

Yes my local pure gym is open 24/7- including Christmas Day. The gyms unmanned hours are between 10pm and 6am every night so Christmas Day is no different apart from there’s nobody working at all.

good for him!

And?

I'll be running 10k Christmas morning while my (adult) children sleep in.

Boyfriend is off to the council run gym for an hour while his teenage son sleeps in.

Before I started running, this would have been crazy behaviour to me, particularly early on Christmas Day. Now I understand.

I think it’s ok with only one dc and your parents there - as long as he is engaged the rest of the day and your dd gets plenty of attention. I would enjoy the time with your parents. We find we all benefit from some time to do something for ourselves in Xmas day eg a walk. This usually a few of us but if not I go alone. Dh like to disappear to his study for an hour or two. It works for us but every family is different.

Can't believe it is open Christmas day. I'm in Ireland and gyms would not be open but there are many charity events such as sea swims and fun runs that people get involved in but they are more family/community events, maybe something like that would be better because you could all get involved. Gym Christmas day does sound a bit grim tbh.
I live near the mountains so a brisk walk is something I try to fit in Christmas afternoon

Totally on his side here! I go to the gym just twice a week on average but I particularly enjoy a little Christmas session. I think it’s the cabin fever / constant eating and drinking, a little break from it does you the power of good.

He has a 19 month old DD .
So even if spending time on Christmas Day with his friends in preference to his wife might be seen as acceptable to some pp I don't see how any one with a young child going to the gym on Christmas Day in preference to watching his dc enjoy the day can be seen as someone who actually cares about his family.

Yeah it’s weird and I’d be pissed off!

I can tell all the weekend Mumsnetters are off for the holidays! Useless DP running away from 19 month olds duties for 2 hours on Christmas Day and apparently this is a great opportunity for op to spend quality time hosting Christmas alone. Lol

My DH is going to a gym class on Christmas Day! I’m surprised a class is running but apparently it booked up super fast! The rest of us are going to do parkrun at the same time. We’ll all get home about 10 and shower and be ready for guests to arrive late morning - perfect. I’m just not quite sure when we will do stockings!