DH going to the gym on Christmas Day!

She didn't say that. She said he's into his fitness. There are plenty of women with kids who train. Some gyms have crèche facilities and other gyms have classes where mums and dads can bring their kids along.

I don't go to the gym now. But when my DS was young both myself and my DH did. Admittedly not when he was a baby. But from a young age my DS had a junior membership and we went as a family.
From when my DS was a baby though I used to go running and I fitted my runs around when my H was at home .When he got to school age I ran while he was at school.

I am very very aware of the benefits of exercise. Now I'm older I walk every day and have an exercise/ hand weights routine which I do at home.

I just don't accept that her H can't give the gym a miss for one day of the year. If he can't do that I would suggest he actually has either an unhealthy addiction to exercise - which is " a thing" - or he is opting out of family life in Christmas day.

Not as tragic as sitting on the sofa all day eating too much.

I’ll be going out for a walk while my husband cooks our dinner 🤷‍♀️

I suspect the OP is taking into consideration what her parents reaction will be when he goes off to the gym on Christmas day. If, like me, they grew up having to do the 'done thing' by joining in with the festivities when all you really want to do is relax in bed with a box of chocolates, glass of whatever takes your fancy, and a good book or internet, then him disappearing for a couple of hours to do as he pleases won't go down well and may cause an atmosphere. Of course I 'played the game' and did/continue to do everything a traditional Christmas expects of me, cards, presents, cooking, entertaining, then sit and take a massive sigh of relief when everyone's gone and I can relax in my PJ's!! Play the game folks, it's only one day

Do you go to the gym? You sound like you don't and you don't understand why he would want to or what he might get from it?

My exh and I always had gym membership when our daughter was little, I've never not had it and she's now 18yrs. We went as often as we both wanted, there was also a creche on site I put my daughter in too.

I assume you don’t have kids though so it’s fine.

I think it’s fine to go, no one is forced to stay in all day but I think morally it’s one day of the year where people should put their kids before their friends.

I personally would want to spend the entire day with my kids on Xmas day.

I couldn’t imagine wanting to see my friends more than my kids on that 1 day.
Surely you can just see them the day before or after.

But if this is what he wants to do then so be it.
Its his choice to make and perhaps you could start doing something special during that time with just you and your DC.

From what OP says he goes to the gym every day.

Surely she is entitled to expect him to give it a miss for one day?

Why does what he wants trump hers?
A marriage is supposed to be a partnership. Going to the gym every day when you have a small child is a luxury not many, and certainly not many mothers, can get away with.

I'm not married by the way - I'm very single. I'm not bending over backwards to excuse anything. I just don't see that someone going to the gym for 90 minutes on Christmas day is a huge big deal

Some open and some don't. My local council gym closes on Christmas and boxing day

You seem to be very well informed about OP's H .

None of us know the state of OP's marriage.

She says surely he can give it a miss " for one bloody day" and that very much suggests her H goes to the gym every day of the year.

Why anyone would think her wanting him to give it a miss on Christmas day is unreasonable is a mystery to me.

Also a mystery to me is the " cool wives" once again bending over backwards to excuse men's behaviour and calling any one who dares to criticise it " controlling"

That's odd - because I used to work in pure gym. Worked Christmas day and new years day and both days were busy. I'm not being disingenuous at all.
I just don't see that someone going to the gym for 90 minutes on Christmas day is opting out of being a husband and father.

Opting out of being a father - in its true sense - is not having anything to do with your child. I last saw my father when I was three - he didn't turn up for an access visit. Not a Christmas card my entire life. Not a birthday card. (It's completely fine by the way, his choice and that's that.

Paid my mum the absolute minimum in child support (peanuts). And went on to have another family who he does acknowledge. Pretty sure there are plenty of women in similar situations these days too.

I didn’t know the gym would even be open on Christmas Day. The poor people being forced to work.

I find this response OTT and a bit bonkerish. He's going to the gym which has massive mental and physical benefits, he's not to the pub to get drunk with the lads. Plenty of women have commented on this thread they will be taking time out for themselves, even the ones with children.

I have seen so my posts about "christmas burnout", "feeling overwhelmed at Christmas" and "seasonal stress". It nice to hear that people are taking time out to get some exercise in for a number of reasons. I think banning it and not allowing that time is more likely to cause mental health problems and ruin Christmas day due to people feeling locked in.

I fairly often take the dog for a long walk while my in laws are around on Christmas Day....it's best for everyone. And I really like my in laws.

We go on Christmas Day also as it's a social thing for us with friends, but both of us go.

Well it's obviously an issue for OP otherwise she wouldn't have started the thread.

She says his friends " roped him in". Which suggests he didn't discuss it with OP. And if he is blaming his friends for twisting his arm to do this then he must know his wife won't be happy and that this is not considered a normal way to celebrate Christmas in their home.

Arranging stuff with your friends on Christmas day without discussing with your wife and going ahead and doing it even if she is not happy IS the attitude of a single man. He hasn't taken on the mindset of a partner and father.

And no matter how you look at things Christmas day is different from any other day of the year. Even for those who don't celebrate in the traditional way or those who are alone in that day it has a very different quality to any other day of the year.
And I think pp who are arguing that what OP's H is intending to do is in any way the norm for a married man with a very young child are being disingenuous.

When they're unmanned they are remotely monitored. So Puregym are paying people to sit in a room somewhere watching all the CCTV so people can get their gym fix on Christmas day it isn't totally unmanned or unmonitored (it's a safety issue more than anything).

My gym is open 24 hours and is remotely managed from 10pm to 6am. It's closed on Christmas Day and Boxing Day to give those who remotely monitor days off as well. I have a lot of respect for a company that does that. A gym isn't a life or death situation or even an important business need.

That's actually a super cool thing to do! Way better than just sitting on the couch watching telly and eating like we're usually doing 😂Why is that a problem? He would be absent for a 1,5 hours and it would be in the morning, there is plenty of time for him to spend with family and your parents still. Basically the rest of the day?

He’s going for 1.5 hours. That is absolutely not opting out of being a father and husband. What hysterical lunacy.

No his child will not be aware it’s Christmas at 1.5 years old.

No his wife isn’t “hosting guests” she’s having HER Mum and Dad round.

No he isn’t “more interested” in enjoying himself with his friends. He’s going to the gym…for 1.5 hours and the other 22.5 hours will be spent in devotional servitude to his wife and child he adores I’m sure.

In the 80s, I remember my mum and step dad prepping everything Christmas Eve -all the veggies in salted water in saucepans on the hob and the turkey cooked sitting in gravy overnight in the oven.

We all then went to the pub 11am -2pm Christmas Day.

Then came home and they cooked it all. Used to eat about 4pm.

So what you're describing certainly wasn't my norm and the norm of the other families we used to see in the very full pub.

There are 365 days in a year.
But he can't go for one day without going to the gym and meeting up with his pals?

If he didn't want to sign up for family life he shouldn't have married and had a child.

This wouldn't bother me, if it was in that fallow period between present-opening in the morning and dinner in the afternoon.