DH going to the gym on Christmas Day!

OP's child is 19 months old and has absolutely no concept of Christmas.

And you can think it's "sad" all you want. I personally think it's very narrow minded to assume your way of doing things is the only correct way.

Because those things need doing as well as numerous other things. I’d have thought it was obvious why.

This is so narrow-minded it's unreal.

You don't need to be tied together all day to prove your commitment.

I think it is sad that you actually equate spending Christmas day at home with your family as being " joined at the hip".
Especially when one of the family is a very young child.

You really know families who only focus on them for one day a year? Or do you genuinely think christmas is the only day you can do that? What about all the families who don’t celebrate christmas?

I have no idea whether he has an exercise addiction or not. But I do know that is a very real thing. And the fact he can't give up his gym visit for one day would suggest that is at least a possibility.

Similarly perhaps some of you on this thread have " moved on" from.the concept of Christmas day being about the family and children. But the fact OP has started this thread because she sees him prioritising his gym and friends over his family indicates that she hasn't "moved on".

Most parents lead very very busy lives juggling work commitments, family organisation, social life, friends and hobbies. It is exceedingly sad that some pp on this thread think that actually having one day of the year dedicated to family time too much to ask of a man who is supposed to be a husband and father.

And taking 90 minutes to yourself doesn't prevent that.

I am so, so glad I don't live in a household where we're expected to spend the day attached at the hip "because it's Christmas". I'm also glad I wasn't raised like that either. It all sounds very claustrophobic.

It's the fact it's Christmas day that is the issue.
You know: that day of the year when people who are lucky enough to have families, and particularly young children, actually make their families the focus of their attention.

But he can go to the gym any day of the year. Christmas Day is just one day, and to me he should want to spend it with his family. It isn't about whether a child knows what Christmas is or not - there's still joy to be had spending time as a family (well, once the stressy preps are out of the way, anyway). This does make me wonder if there's something in the mix that he's not telling OP about, although I hope I'm wrong.

To me, the main issue is the time he's going to the gym. Mid-morning on Christmas Day is often peak busyness in many (most?) households. People are prepping Christmas lunch, or tidying the house for guests, or entertaining/greeting guests who have already arrived, or still opening gifts. I think there's a strong chance the OP's husband will be leaving her to take care of everything when he's away.

If he was planning on going early in the morning (say, before 8am), or later in the afternoon, I'd say the OP was being unreasonable. But mid-morning? Not unreasonable to ask he stays home to pitch in, or goes to the gym at a different time.

Oh - and I know about 10-15 female friends/acquaintances off the top of my head who have husbands and young kids. I cannot picture any of those women swanning off to enjoy their hobby for 90 minutes mid-morning on Christmas Day. Not one. It would simply be unheard of.

I'm off to the pool for an hour swim early on Christmas Day. My local council pool is open until 1pm and plan to be back at home by 10am at the latest.

I have 10 guests for Christmas lunch with the earliest arriving at 12pm. Easily doable. 😁

Same as when men would all go down to the pub on Christmas morning...

Why wouldn't she?

Exactly this and I’d be willing to bet a lot that the OP will not get this; so it’s not ok.

It depends whether or not it leaves you in the lurch, or gets in the way of planned things with the children, but in principle exercise is fine on Christmas Day - some people really need it, e.g. exercise is very important for me as it helps to keep my anxiety in check and is often the difference between a good and bad day (especially currently with a new baby and all the challenges that brings). I’ll either run or sea swim on the day, and myself or my husband will run with the dog - between us that means at least a couple of hours exercising as one needs to be with the baby, but it’s the norm for us and means we both have a significantly better day and we will get it done early. It just depends on your circumstances. I’m surprised a gym is open, though, but guess things are different if you’re in a city! The poor gym workers!!

It's a short period - Christmas Day is a full 24 hours. I think everyone is entitled to a bit of headspace, whether that's the gym, running or just sitting in bed reading a book. My husband will probably go out on his bike for an hour, which he'll enjoy and making him better to be around (he can get a bit "caged lion" 😂).
It's supposed to be a day for people to enjoy, after all..... let him enjoy it, OP.

And this is how so many women end up burned out and martyring themselves on the altar of Christmas thinking they have to abide by old fashioned notions of perfection. Get off the treadmill (pun intended per thread topic), stop playing games you are not interested in. If my parents or in-laws dared to have an attitude about things not being traditional enough, they can vote with their feet and not come in future.

I just don't accept that her H can't give the gym a miss for one day of the year. If he can't do that I would suggest he actually has either an unhealthy addiction to exercise - which is " a thing" - or he is opting out of family life in Christmas day.

Do you genuinely, honestly believe it's "opting out of family life" to go to the gym for 90 minutes?

I am joking yes but I think for some people they really think a bit like this! Like every hour of the day if not at work has to be “family time” and that something like going to the gym is immature, selfish, self indulgent and vain. It’s crazy!

I think that was a joke.

You surely can't be serious?

Parents should NOT go the gym. If they want to do that kind of thing they shouldn’t have had kids.

@Dollybantree

whats weird about someone going for a walk by themselves? Time to themselves, clear their head etc. it’s nice. You don’t have to be joined to the hip when you have a family.

Please. Youre now suggesting that he has an exercise addiction. Do his friends as well? Does everyone who trains at a gym on Christmas day have an exercise addiction?

Don't you think it's time we moved on from the ridiculous scenario that people have to do certain things or they are bad parents? He has to stay at home prepping and chopping potatoes and be glued to his wife and daughter all day or he's acting like a single man?

Going to the gym for 90 minutes is not opting out of family life. On any level

Would you be saying this if the OP posted saying she was going for a walk with her daughter alone or going to the pub with a friend on Christmas day?

I used to go, very early in the morning as it’s a 24/7 gym. Nobody else in the house was awake either so it was the perfect time to go.