Men going to thailand

Thank you. Based on OP’s first post, he is not the victim here.

This. Possibly of the same type that Tommy Robinson target, ironically, who hate brown male immigrants, will happily allow a subservient Asian lady look after all of their needs in old age. It's transactional obviously and there is unlikely to be any real love, but this doesn't mean he is being groomed when he has all of the power and money.

Yes, I'm sure looking for a route to a better life is often a huge motivator. I'm not sure whose position you think you are disagreeing with here.

The idea I was pushing back on was that it was racist for another poster to suggest she may have fallen in love. The supposed proof being the very odd claim that British women are incapable of falling in love with middle-aged lechers. It was such a weird argument.

If anything he is a groomer.

I was exposed to a poorer culture where marrying a rich older man from abroad it is genuinely seen as a route out of poverty. The women talk about it among themselves like the story of a handsome prince from children’s fairytales except they are typically unattractive, older, unmatchable at home with misogynistic and narcissistic tendencies so they are no one’s Prince Charming.

There is absolutely no way they would be choosing this life if they were not desperate. The men are the ones with the choices, the men are the groomers.

Anyone suggesting he is being groomed needs to give their head a shake and take a closer look at what that really means. Using the term in this scenario is an insult to anyone that actually has been groomed.

He went looking for this and has got exactly what he wanted. His life, his money, his choice. Not someone I would have any respect for personally but if the woman is an adult, she is free to make her own decisions. I’d have a lot more sympathy for her and her situation than for him though, he’s no more the ‘victim’ in all this than Fred West was.

Is he Mr Dudwey?

You’ve framed this very strangely- he is not the victim in this. And his family shouldn’t treat him as one.

They all need to acknowledge that their creepy relative exploits a woman they don’t know for cheap sex.

@Dontbenasty Can I suggest that you and your acquaintances watch Thailand: The Dark Side of Paradise. This man is not being groomed.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m002hysj

Yes it’s just sheer coincidence that these gross old men have far more success with much younger women in countries such as Thailand than they do in their home countries.

And equally sheer coincidence that they never manage to land the young attractive women from wealthy Thai families.

Only poor ones.

Yes - it’s all a coincidence - I am sure.

It's true that women from richer countries do engage in sexual exploitation of men from poorer countries, but on a much smaller scale than men exploiting women.
Here's an article about it from mumnet fave Julie Bindel.

It’s like those older women that get into romantic relationships with young waiters and ultimately are shocked that they end up with no money after handing it over to the young men. Serves them right

Yeah maybe so but it's their own business.

🤣

I don’t know why posters are saying it’s none of the sibling’s business. They’ve basically been left with all the responsibilities of an elderly parent because their sleaze of a brother wants to exploit third world women for sex. Men like this are sickening. The lengths they’ll go, and the people they’ll abandon just to get their dick wet.

Unfortunately the sibling hasn’t got any options other than to suck it up. I’d potentially be going NC and making life as hard for Mr Sexo as he’s making for the sibling.

It’s the children I feel sorry for. An embarrassment for a father and if he marries this women, left out of any potential financial legacy because the new bride will get it all.

Yes, it's eye-opening, that documentary - put me off Thailand I must say.

However, marrying for money is something both men and women across the world do.

This is none of the sibling's business and sibling should try to keep out of it. Brother may, or may not, be being used but all sibling can do is advise him to be careful. Sibling should not avoid family gatherings - why make more of a situation than needs be?

Or father 🙈

This

The previous poster’s argument starts with the claim that British women are “incapable of falling in love with middle-aged lechers”.

Is that true?

It then moves from that dodgy claim to a claim that becuase of that, to think it possible this woman might love him is racist.

Is it racist?

The world is messier and more varied than you seem willing to recognise.

He is a dirty old creep he is not being groomed he views these women as objects that can be purchased

I would feel ashamed is this was my brother

This.

This is gross. Totally sympathise with “the sibling” OP.

But do you want to ruin your relationship with your brother?

A “bar girl” is a prostitute. She’s not in love with him, she’s planning to fleece him. He’s a fool who will be parted from his money and to be fair she will have put in the hours to earn it. She will move on to the next mark.

I'm surprised so many people on here aren’t aware that this is really common and think she might be genuine.

I don’t have much sympathy for the type of man who is vulnerable to this scam.

I know of several older men who have visited the Philippines and Thailand. It’s sex tourism. It’s abusive, there’s an obvious power imbalance.
And a few have brought women back here.
the relationships haven’t lasted but I guess some do. It’s his choice, nothing you can do

He’s not the one being groomed. The poor woman who was being sexually exploited is.

He isn’t being groomed. He has chosen to go to Thailand alone for one reason only. There is a recent documentary on iplayer about Thailand, it’s worth watching.