Disappointed Dh finishing at lunch on xmas eve

Instead of guessing, why didn't you just ask? Would he prioritise his work mates and having a drink over his dd?

Maybe they can think of better ways to spend their time than traipsing round a packed Christmas market? It sounds like utter hell to me.

I will offer up my DH. Actually not the whole family as I hate Christmas markets, so he took the DC on his own, while I had a lovely day to myself.

I also know several other men who are equally or more involved in Christmas activity planning than their partners.

Some men are clearly useless, but a lot are not, and there is still a lot of couples like the OP's where the woman "works less and finishes earlier" so it's natural for them to pick up more of the organising.

Surely you haven't got to your age without realising that a lot of people have to work on Christmas Eve, many of us didn't get to finish at lunchtime either.

Normal to work on Xmas Eve, but from decades of observation, Christmas simply wouldn't happen without women. I mean how many men have you known, ever, who have arranged for the whole family to visit Xmas market-no input from their wife?

We've had to include anything that's on in November, or we wouldn't necessarily get to do a Christmas day out because the youngest GC is always ill over December. Going forward you'd have to see if he's bothered and a late panto on Christmas eve might be an option.

What do you want him to do? Take a day leave? Call in sick?. Maybe switch roles, he can work in a school and you can work full time..

Dear OP, it's totally normal to feel a bit disappointed. I have found that because I do virtually everything for Christmas, and certainly everything for DD, I am far more invested in and excited for Christmas activities than my DH.
He is cheerful when he comes along, and if we need to drive somewhere he's happy to do it, but if I didn't book the Santa visit, the GLOW light visit, etc. it just wouldn't happen and he wouldn't mind. I try not to take it personally and just enjoy the planning/time with DD. Xx

Winter wonderland and light experiences near here are still on after Christmas which are still nice if he can’t come on that day. Personally I’d just take dd myself and he can meet you there if he has time., He can’t help working or the fact that everyone has been ill.

Then he doesn't have a choice, does he?

How is he actively avoiding it if his boss has told him he has to work?

I start night shifts tonight looking after the children that can’t go home for Christmas. Lots of us work Christmas Eve. And Christmas.

There is so much pressure to be together and to do Christmassey things and relationships having pressure piled on them. I’m working until 5:30 on Xmas Eve as that’s when the office closes. My family is aware. I spent this weekend food shopping and sorting things out so we can have an easier time later this week. Hopefully my family members aren’t harbouring any secret resentments.

it is beyond ridiculous how much enforced nonsense there is for one day of the year.

I would say working till x time on Christmas Eve is pretty standard for most jobs though tbh. I’ve always worked up until and also over Christmas even when the kids were little

I’d also say it makes a difference as to when annual leave runs out - mine runs Jan to Dec, DPs runs April to April. So I had annual leave I had to take by the end of December otherwise id lose it. My job now also do have a full Christmas shutdown. So I’ve literally got over 2 weeks off work

My DP could have took annual leave but has chosen to not do. His kids aren’t here until Christmas Eve so it’s just mine and we’ve made the most of our evenings together doing Christmas things - movies etc

Also agreeing with others that things like Christmas markets are completely naff, packed and other Christmas activities are just generally massively overpriced. I wouldn’t take annual leave for any of those specifically so I don’t blame him!

When we both worked full time, Christmas began when we had both finished work for the holidays. For DH that was usually Christmas Eve lunchtime.
Most Christmas markets finish before Christmas Eve. You’ve got lots of time from Thursday to do Christmas stuff.

Just accept this festive season as slightly underwhelming. Next year may be different! I wouldn't get annoyed.

You will have Xmas eve evening together and Xmas day/boxing day. Surely that's all that matters.

Like previous posters have mentioned, many professions have to work the Xmas period so you just make of it what you can.

I’m working until 5 christmas eve and so is everyone else unless they’ve booked AL. You’ve got 2wks together, chill.

You are lucky to have until 5th January off - many people (eg me) have to work Xmas Eve and the in betweens. Sorry OP, I think you’re sounding a bit entitled.

Christmas Eve is a normal working day. Not a bank holiday. I wouldn’t assume someone has taken an extra day holiday. Especially if they’ve been unwell recently, so need to be as productive as possible.
I’ve done all the Christmas stuff, prepped the house, done the shopping and wrapped the gifts. OH hasn’t done anything.
im on call until 6pm on Xmas eve

Does he actually like Christmas markets? Personally I find them hideously overpriced stalls, mainly selling mass-produced tat disguised as handicrafts or very average food at inflated prices (no, I'm not paying £5 for a Costco muffin, even if you have stuck a handful of cheap sweets on top of it). I'm also recovering from flu, and the thought of hauling sugar-fuelled children round one of these and being expected to pay for the privilege sounds absolute hell to me.

It's normal in families for at least one parent to work full time, which generally means working up to Christmas Eve.
If they want to do "Christmassy things" during the week, they talk about it and organise a day.
It's unfortunate he was ill at the weekend, which has scuppered some plans.

But if he's off until the 5th, you have loads of time to do things together as a family.

He'll still be about from the late afternoon/evening on Christmas Eve which is plenty early enough for children young enough to believe in Santa, and leaves hours of time with older children.

Communication between you seems poor on this.

After contributing little to organising it and having spent little time together recently him going to the pub after work seems crap. Assuming he knows you’re into doing these kinds of things.

If there is a general issue in your relationship, eg not doing things as a couple or family, him being disengaged, him not doing a fair share of things, you could discuss that with him, perhaps after Christmas day.

Christmas Eve IS magical imo so I can see why you're disappointed. I'm working Christmas Eve but should be home before 6pm.
I personally wouldn't choose drinks with colleagues on 24/12 since having children though.

Christmas is time for joy, for rest and to enjoy with family and friends not to get stressed. You all have been felling unwell, just do something without him or plan a afternoon of games at home. There is no rush to see markets etc.
The activities are not the main dish, the main dish is rest and have a good time.
Give yourself a break and relax.
It doesn't matter if you are fuming he still has to work.

I get the working til lunch time, -:what I struggle with is the need to go to the pub!