Username change due to professional confidentiality.
It's all there in the title! Today, after another round of dealing with passive aggressive behaviour, I want to shout that it really isn't ok!
We seem to have come to a point in society where physical aggression is more than ever shamed and punished. What progress we have made to get to this point, with yet more to be made.
This however seems to have been exchanged by a more than ever growing level of retaliation using passive agression. Worse is that many seem to think that it's an absolutely appropriate and even commended substitute.
MN is a minefield of it. Some posters seem to have become experts in the matter as have some people in the real world....and they seem to carry the glory with pride, seeing themselves as the beholder as of a life skill mastery.
Right now I want to shout that it really is not okay and the damage of such behaviour is polluting our society.
Today, start of week, only 13:30 and I've already had to deal with it three times with three different people. My OH, who always self congratulate himself for always keeping a very low level tone of voice and appearing calm and in full control, yet will use strident words, manipulating memories to make me doubt myself, and refusing to listen to me because my voice happens to be an octave higher than his, which is clear evidence in his view that I am rude and nasty!
Then the big boss, known to be a bully and hated by everyone, but people are choosing self preservation and therefore telling her what she wants to hear in her face. However hard I try to express my differences in a calm, professional and collaborative manner, she can't help herself by sending yet another array of rude emails, full of demands and sarcasm. I won't even describe the third instance today!
I pride myself in always trying to be kind, thoughtful and empathetic. I might not always succeed, but these are the values I hold closest to me heart.
I believe in honesty and openness when you disagree with someone and the whole let's agree to disagree with no hard feelings. If this means voices going up a bit, speech speeding up, it's ok, as long as you leave matters without resentment.
The way I feel now is emotionally shattered. Exhausted by people who value themselves so highly for dealing with things with such control when what it really is is subtle aggressive manners thrown to cause as much emotional harm as possible whilst coming out of it with flying starts.
These people have nothing to be proud of. They are more interested in controlling and winning the argument than in finding a reasonable compromise. They really are not nice people!
Rant of the day 😁