Neighbour just told Dd Father Christmas doesn’t exist

Not days before Christmas, that's for sure. I'd do what I could to try and salvage it for this year and see what leading up to next year brings.

Gosh why go to such great lengths to lie? Its meant to be a bit of fun. Lying so much just isnt setting a good example and it ruins christmas for them when they do find out if you push it too far.

YANBU to be sad that she knows now. But at the same time, I feel 7/8 is a reasonable time to find out. I’m always very surprised at the number of 10 year olds people claim still believe, and do kind of wonder if they’re unusually credulous or not that bright (or pretending to believe and their parents are the credulous ones)

My son just turned 4 and he’s already asked why he’s seen Santas that look different from each other and why everywhere seems to have a Santa when we go out. The magic explanation works at his age, but I’d be surprised if he made it to 7 believing.

Isn't this just a normal part of childhood?

If you find yourself calling an 8 year old a fucker or a shitbag or are thinking about telling your child that another kid is naughty so santa doesn't come to him you might want to ask yourself what actually IS the magic of christmas.

Sorry OP this is a rubbish thing to happen just before Christmas.

You've already said that he is real so just leave it for now. If they ask again go with some of the suggestions on this thread.

The magic of Christmas is so much more than Father Christmas. You should focus on other elements. Kids find out - that’s life.

My parents never really done FC properly for me and my siblings growing up and I’m so glad they didn’t. I only do it vaguely for my kids and they adore Christmas for so many other reasons. Start making it exciting and special in new ways and you’ll have many more brilliant Christmases ahead.

We’re talking about a 7 year old, not a 4 year old. They were already at the end of the line. There’s a difference between ‘keeping the magic going’ and bare-faced lies that are far more about the parent being unable to accept that their child is growing up than the interests of said child.

When my ds was 7 a friend told him Santa isn’t real. He came home from school and said to me that his friend was really stupid and that Santa is real because he told him how lazy I was sleeping all days (I was working nights at the time!) and there’s no way I’d have been able to sort all those presents out !!!

Just say they must be very naughty then!

You cannot stop your child from hearing that FC doesn’t exist from other children. That has happened to every child for as long as parents in this country have been doing FC. And if your child has readily accepted what this other child has told them, it’s a sign that they were already on the verge.

This happened to me at a similar age, older friend spilt the beans. My parents were way more upset about it than I was.

People who want to keep the magic going when their kid has been told - at what point do you accept they know the truth?
When you tell them?

At some point it’s going to come out as made up, so how do you decide when is ok? Surely this is just life deciding that moment?

The alternative is convincing your children that loads of people out in the world are liars, until they discover that actually it’s their own parent keeping the lie going and telling them everyone else are liars!!
🤯

Ah well.

I've reported OP for making up stories that Father Christmas isn't real.
Of course he's real.

Does he have older siblings?

I think it’s likely that she’ll have heard that suggestion before. Most children find out from other children.

You can still keep up the pretence. Just say “well, he might think that but how does he know?” and carry on as you were. I think as kids get older there’s generally a bit of make-believe involved. It’s different but it’s still lovely.

I think it's entirely unreasonable to call a child a 'shitbag' because they tell the truth. I know that wasn't you OP.

And I strongly suspect your DD has already heard this at school, or read it in a book. However, I reckon your best bet is the Santa tracker.

Well, he probably doesn’t come for him. He doesn’t bother turning up if you don’t believe/are a little shite.

Also they do have to figure it out sometime. I actually think it's weird when parents take it to 10/11 etc - how much crushing reality do we want them to have to absorb in the short teenage years?

Tell her that nobody knows for sure, but that you don't want to risk him not coming, so let's still do stockings anyway

This happened to me when I was little, and it's actually one of my earliest memories. I think I must have been about 4, and neighbour child (about 7) ganged up on me with my older sibling (6) and they were asking me if I believed in Father Christmas. It was obvious from the context that the answer was supposed to be 'no', or I'd be teased for being babyish, and as I said 'no', I realised that actually was what I thought. So it was the act of saying it that made me realise I didn't believe.

Anyway, if it's any comfort, what I remember is a sort of hot feeling of embarrassment at being put in that position, or at being caught out possibly believing something that everyone else knew wasn't true, but I don't think I actually minded the Santa-not-being-real part and certainly didn't enjoy Christmas any less as a result. I don't think I ever believed in the tooth fairy.

I'm honestly surprised nobody has ever said that to her before now.

I'd say that he's naughty and that's why he thinks Santa isn't real. Or Santa only comes if you believe so if he doesn't believe, of course he won't come and his parents will have to do it instead.

It's a situation that can be saved, especially when she's only 7.

My DS6 says there's been lots of debate amongst the kids in his class (year 1) with some saying he doesn't exist. He however believes Santa is real. Kids will always talk about this, I don't think you can stop it, I'm sure this is not the first time she's heard it questioned. I'd go with a 'well he might believe that' type answer myself.

Ok granted he might have just discovered and parents are/were unaware he no longer believes.

My 9 year old still believes but maybe starting to suspect. I am very tuned into this. Once she no longer believes we will be sitting down and having a chat about how she becomes the magic. She has a much younger sibling and other family members too.

On the other hand we also have friends/family members with older children/teens that carry on the magic. It’s wonderful to see them doing that! I have brought my children up to be considerate of others and I think she will do a great job! She will love doing to Elf and help setting up presents on Christmas Eve.

Parents that don’t teach their children to be considerate of others and quite happily let them go around telling younger children Santa isn’t real, let’s face it are a holes!