Neighbour just told Dd Father Christmas doesn’t exist

Kids all talk about this all the time! The opening premise of most xmas films usually involves someone who doesn't believe in father christmas (and who then gets convinced by the end of the film). Loads of kids don't even celebrate Christmas at all 🤷‍♀️

I look at it as him telling her he doesn't believe. It's up to her what she believes.

I think that in general, when a child listens to the doubters and expresses doubt themselves, they are ready to stop believing. A true believer would just refuse to accept what the other child said. "What do you mean? Of course he's real!" I understand wanting to keep the magic alive, but if a seed of doubt has been sown (which was bound to happen) I don't see it as a terrible thing.

As an aside, I hope you don't tell your child that the neighbour boy is on the naughty list. Of course, it's up to you how you handle the situation, I'm just expressing my thoughts. We have adopted children in our family. They have clear memories of not receiving any presents at Christmas when they were still in their first home. They honestly have enough to cope with from an emotional standpoint without hearing that the reason Santa didn't bring them anything was because of their bad behaviour. And yes, some charming children have told them exactly that.

Tell her that Santa doesn't come to his house because he's bad, so he's just bitter!

And then they come back.

“Well I got a brand new Xbox what did you get!?? “

Runs of list of not an Xbox sized gift. Ponders was I the naughty one?

I'm having a vision of all these lovely 'innocent' children going back to the "little shitbags" and saying, "my mum says you're horrible and naughty and Santa isn't going to bring you any presents". Charming.

Season of goodwill, everyone.

Someone was going to tell her pretty soon. Most children half know by this age anyway. I mean a strange old man coming into their room at night would be pretty scary if they completely believed in it.

Superb parenting of an obviously intelligent child.

Well done!

I’ve joked with friends before what if we are all just sims in someone else’s computer 😂

I genuinely lol'd at your son's quotes and calling him a little arsehole hahaha absolutely brilliant.

OP, I'm so sorry you didn't get to tell her the truth yourself. I remember reading once that the kids who get told The Truth are enlisted as "special Christmas helpers" or something? They then have to pick a neighbour's house and secretly leave a present outside "from Father Christmas/Santa Claus" to help keep the magic alive for other kids who don't know yet. If you Google it, I'm sure the proper story will come up as it seems like a really sweet way to handle it and keep the magic going for kids even if they no longer believe. I can only partly remember it so have probably done a terrible job of explaining!

I’ll never forget the moment my brother told me. Ruinous little bastard. He hasn’t changed either. I’m sorry for your DD.

Don't label him as naughty, because he hasn't been. He's excited to discover the truth, and wants to share - he's far too young to understand the implications of what he's done.

Look, 7 is peak age for some kid saying Santa isn't real. If it wasn't your NDN it would be someone else. You've had lots of suggestions on how to handle it. When DD1 came home from school bearing the news, I said, "Hmm yes, I've heard people say that. Truth is, like all magic nobody knows for sure. I reckon he still comes to kids who believe in him. What do you think?". She said, "Well, I'm going to believe in him" and that was that for a couple of years. She chose to believe until it became the minority view among her peers.

Dd2 seemed to be disabused very early on. Presumably by her sister. Remember when you are slagging other children off for telling yours, that in time your child too will be telling others that there's no Santa.

I know how you feel. My only just turned 7 year old has been told by a couple of friends. Right now she's claiming she believes anyway but I dont really believe her and this is clearly the last year we'll even get away with the pretence.

He would have told his younger brother for sure. Not capable to keep a secret to this day (he's 15)

I just say “Oh did he/she say that. What do you think?” In these circumstances and then remain very non committal.

Kids say all sorts all the time and unless you generally argue about it then making a big thing of this will just make your own kids super suspicious.

No one is being a “shit bag” or trying to wreck things for other kids they are just behaving like perfectly normal kids. I do a cubs group and by then (8-10) they are always pretty dubious about the whole thing so probably she’d have picked it up soon. If she mainly still thinks it’s real then the presents in a few days will convince her. If she mainly thinks it isn’t then it’s likely not really this kid that’s caused it but a build up of lots of little observations.

When I was in school there were always kids in my class who didn't believe. I think it's because they were jealous, as they knew Santa wouldn't come to children who didn't believe in him.

Your kids ask Santa for presents and they get them. How do they explain that? Honestly, some people...

@Grinchisbackbackagain The last Christmas I believed was the Christmas I was 9. By the year I was 10, I knew (this was the late 1980s so pre-internet).

But crucially, by the age of 9, I had already run the gamut of every smart arsed little know-it-all at school telling believe there was no such thing as Santa. I had heard it all. Even when I was wavering, I just recalibrated. I didn't stop believing until I was ready to. Maybe your daughter will be the same.

My 4 year old isn't sure if we're real. He thinks someone might just be imagining us.

I find this such a strange concept. Im not a parent but I do teach infants and the amount of made up bollocks they come out with is insane. An accountant dad was apparently in fact a fireman, a spayed family dog had puppies last night, one child went on holiday to Spain after school and was back in time for breakfast club the next day. The only reason this is annoying is because you know the kid is actually telling truth so YOU feel let down. Otherwise it's surely just part of the shite kids speak.

My 8yo is autistic, he semi believes in Santa but Jesus he's like no it's illogical it isn't real 😂😂

Yeah, Muslims, Jews, critical thinkers, children with a basic understanding of science. Horrible people. Not the mad women who insist on talking shit to their kids, and police other people's thoughts. They aren't the horrid ones at all.

You can save this. My stock response to kids in my class when they come up to me saying someone doesn't believe in Santa is, "Sure some people don't believe in God!" (Catholic school)
Another good one is to say to her that Santa doesn't exist for your neighbour because they don't believe so their parents have to get the presents.

This is batshit

Definitely being unreasonable to text the mum. What are you going to say? Your shitbag son told my daughter the truth about Father Christmas. Please ensure you teach your son to lie in future.

if you are going to lie to your own child that’s up to you but you can’t coerce others into doing the same.

As a teacher, we have the yearly arguments about whether Father Christmas is real. I think by the time they are in KS2, all children who have been lied to should be told it’s make believe.

But why was it so important to you that he continued to believe?

My son had it sussed out by the time he was 5. He wasn't upset, I wasn't upset. He still enjoyed the anticipation of Christmas.

Tell his mum so she knows to tell him not to tell anyone else. She might he unaware he knows. Even if she is aware she needs to tell him to pack it in.

We had kids in my DD's class blabbing about this, and their parents were unaware and recounting to us the lengths they were going to to keep the magic going because little Tommy still believes. Like hiding the new bike round a neighbour's house, unaware their kids not only knew but was making sure other people's did too. I am a coward though and didn't spoil it for the parents, but you don't know if your neighbour thinks her kid still believes so you are freed of that guilt.