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AIBU?

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Original poster

Friend sending Girlfrend topless gym selfies...

36 replies

Monbig · 22/12/2025 12:14

Man here. Ive recently seen a picture on my girlfriends phone from a friend of ours. He is a lot younger than us.

Now the pic is of him striking a pose with no top on. It was sent via social media DM.

She didn't shut it down, she said "looking good"

There is general chat, how's work, what are you doing this week and us. He then repeats things to me about the "us" conversations but doesnt directly mention them. Its almost like hes playing with me as only my GF and I know this info. I didnt look too far back so unsure if there are others.

I asked her about it and she just said its just ": being himself and she cant help what he sends her. Ive said she should've shut it down which she agrees however I cant help but feel hurt as she didnt tell me about it and didnt shut it down. She has previously enjoyed the attention of a man who kept staring at her on a night out. She denied noticing but it was obvious she did. Maybe she enjoys the attention.

AIBU to consider finishing things with her?

OP posts:
JudgeBread · 22/12/2025 12:32

I have male friends. My best friend is male. The most important thing about maintaining opposite sex friendships is having titanium boundaries, and respecting your partner and putting their feelings first.

Entertaining the gym selfies and then brushing you off when you express discomfort is the opposite of both of the above.

Having someone stare at her on a night out isn't her fault though.

Original poster
Monbig · 22/12/2025 12:31

JLou08 · 22/12/2025 12:30

Will be you be cutting the friendship too? If anyone overstepped here, it's the person who sent the picture.
I'd feel pretty awkward if a man sent me a topples photo, I wouldn't be sure if it was a come on or just sharing gym progress. I'd avoid jumping to conclusions and telling my boyfriend.
You will know your friend, is he the type to go after a woman who's taken?

Yes he is unfortunately

OP posts:
JLou08 · 22/12/2025 12:30

Will be you be cutting the friendship too? If anyone overstepped here, it's the person who sent the picture.
I'd feel pretty awkward if a man sent me a topples photo, I wouldn't be sure if it was a come on or just sharing gym progress. I'd avoid jumping to conclusions and telling my boyfriend.
You will know your friend, is he the type to go after a woman who's taken?

MerryAndBrightLaLaLa · 22/12/2025 12:30

She can’t help it if random men stare at her! Ffs. Don’t be so bloody insecure OP.

Original poster
Monbig · 22/12/2025 12:29

toomuchfaff · 22/12/2025 12:26

In all fairness if the picture was innocent validation picture that he'd also sent to 20 others - her responding with "I've got a boyfriend" sounds a bit psycho.

She has previously enjoyed the attention of a man who kept staring at her on a night out.
This statement.... tells me you're being very OTT to know that or bring it up..

Does she strive for attention and the validation of others? Is she always posting selfie pics inviting "you look amazing" comments?

edit to add - 2 years! goddamit I thought you were 2 weeks in...

Edited

Problem is she said she would kick off it wad the other way around so im all confused

OP posts:
Original poster
Monbig · 22/12/2025 12:28

greenwithglee · 22/12/2025 12:26

I vaguely was on your side until you complained about someone noticing her on a night out. Poor girl did nothing apart from look nice and you took issue with her because of another mans behaviour. End it and give the girl some peace.

Tbf she gave him more attention that night than me. She couldnt take her eyes off him. She denied it and said I was seeing things that weren't there but when she was constantly look around to look at him, I dont think I was.

OP posts:
toomuchfaff · 22/12/2025 12:26

In all fairness if the picture was innocent validation picture that he'd also sent to 20 others - her responding with "I've got a boyfriend" sounds a bit psycho.

She has previously enjoyed the attention of a man who kept staring at her on a night out.
This statement.... tells me you're being very OTT to know that or bring it up..

Does she strive for attention and the validation of others? Is she always posting selfie pics inviting "you look amazing" comments?

edit to add - 2 years! goddamit I thought you were 2 weeks in...

greenwithglee · 22/12/2025 12:26

I vaguely was on your side until you complained about someone noticing her on a night out. Poor girl did nothing apart from look nice and you took issue with her because of another mans behaviour. End it and give the girl some peace.

GoldsolesLugs · 22/12/2025 12:24

Listen to your gut. I think you know what you need to do.

Original poster
Monbig · 22/12/2025 12:22

Laiste · 22/12/2025 12:20

Have you been together long?

My advice would be to tell her again you're uncomfortable with the messages from him (muscle pics), and you'd like it shut down.

Give it till after xmas then if it's still going on just leave.

It doesn't sound as if you're in very deep emotionally with her. Prob best by the sound of it!

We have been together 2 years

OP posts:
Laiste · 22/12/2025 12:20

Have you been together long?

My advice would be to tell her again you're uncomfortable with the messages from him (muscle pics), and you'd like it shut down.

Give it till after xmas then if it's still going on just leave.

It doesn't sound as if you're in very deep emotionally with her. Prob best by the sound of it!

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