Who else Is dreading the Christmas drive on Christmas day ?

I'd consider making 'growing a backbone' your new year's resolution OP!

It's quite ridiculous.

Even if not for your sake, think about the message you're sending to your daughters.

Yabu for not getting a back bone and doing what’s right for your family.

Back out now with illness and have a lovely Christmas with your own family

Another reason why Christmas should be phased out.
Another example of the pressure and expectations.
There's 364 other days of the year to see people.

This sounds dire. 180 miles of driving on Christmas day taking about 4hrs, what an awful way to spend a day that comes once a year.

What a shame you've started this horrid flu..

YABU not to realise that saying no is always an option.

I'm with the others, seriously why?

Why is your families happiness less important?

YANBU
We never traveled to see relatives on Christmas day when I was young. That was always done on the days surrounding Christmas - or with my grandmother, my dad would pick her up Christmas Eve and she'd stay a couple of nights with us.
Now I'm an adult with a family of my own, we are lucky that all family live close by. We do go to see my mum and my siblings gather there too, but we are all in the same town or very close by.

I suppose this is why Tenerife looks so attractive at this time of year!

I'd might be inclined to suck it up if the kids enjoyed it but they don't. Sack it off, there's still time to grab some food if you want to sack it off this year but if not seriously think about sacking it off next year. They'll probably tantrum but you can just treat them like toddlers and not react to it.

Every time I have driven on Christmas day the roads have been completely quiet.

It really is beyond me why people put up with this shit. We have always srayed in our own home at Christmas.
We used to see in laws on christmas eve and my parents on boxing day. No one ever got offended.
Our adult kids come to us but none of them have partners, if they did it would be up to them how they choose to do the day. No guilt tripping from us.
I think it's awful that kids get new toys and are then dragged round various relatives.

Posts like this at Christmas do my absolute head in.

I pressed YABU. Because you are U to put your family through this every year.

It’s crazy, unnecessary and smacks of being a total mug tbh.

You really don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, but I’m sure you already know this and have some kind of Christmas martyr complex going on. You like moaning about it and feeling like you flagellate yourself and your family every Christmas in order to please others - a kind of Christmas virtue signalling.

”We’re spending the day at home this year as all the driving is exhausting” will suffice - and anyone who complains is a selfish arsehole whom you shouldn’t be entertaining - why do they expect you to do what they themselves won’t do?

You honestly need to give yourself a mental slap across the face and wise up.

Agree with everyone else, you shouldn't feel like you have to do this every year, it's not fair on you or your children. If you really feel like you can't cancel this year I would wait until you're about to leave and then mention that next year you will be staying at home for Christmas and stick to it.

YABU for bowing down to whoever tells you you have to drive that far for Christmas, and not doing what's best for your family.

Do you ever do Christmas Day with your DH'S family, at yours or theirs?

Seriously you shouldn't feel you have to do EVERY Christmas Day with your family. Most people don't, for all sorts of reasons (also wanting to see partner's family, work, long journeys etc).

We are hosting this year and my husband has been taken out with a cold yesterday (which he insists is the flu but which I had before him and is definitely just a cold 🤣) and we don’t want to cancel but wondering if we should.

Anyway, I freely share our reason as your fake excuse - you have unfortunately been taken out with the new strain of flu called the “K flu”, you have a fever and due to the sickness now being in your household you simply can’t risk exposing your family to it.

You need to acknowledge that you are an adult. You don’t have to travel on Christmas Day.

Just stay home. Let them know you won’t be coming as you are exhausted. Offer visiting a different day/ neutral place/them visiting you. They won’t have any difficulty telling you what doesn’t work for them, so why do you?

Stand up for yourself woman!!

Why do you do it then? I never do. My family got used to it and they know Ill see them in the summer. They weren't happy but I have a job that drains me and I need the 4 days off to myself.
Nobody is forcing you to do this every year.

That sounds perfect ..I am beyond jealous. Have an amazing time x

Not me. Will be spending the 40 degree day (Western Australia) in the pool with frozen daiquiris, with my 3 kids and my best friend and her kids. I can't wait!

Why do people do this to themselves? Just, don’t.

If we were as exhausted as you, my dad would ask me not to drive to them.

Just don't do it.
Or, I have a similar journey and drive to my mother's on Christmas day. We stay at the local Holiday Inn on Christmas night, have a quick.coffee on Boxing morning and home by three.
The hotels are usually very good value on Christmas day - why not make things easier for yourself.

Votes you were unreasonable as you can say no! You are an adult with kids do what works for you