Who else Is dreading the Christmas drive on Christmas day ?

There’s a lot of flu about and you wouldn’t want to pass it on to your family would you.

I could be there by Thursday!

I can’t believe people actually put themselves through this every year. Just say no???

The power of no. Your teenagers will be happier.
Please cancel. I'm 55 with teenagers single mum, there is no way I'd Subject them to what you describe here.
Our drive is 20 mins that's long enough. Your anxiety and cortisol levels don't need this....

When the kids were younger and everyone wanted to stay at home (different parts of the country) we got together the weekend before Christmas and either got takeaway or ate out. Now everyone's grown up we do it at new year when everyone's a bit more chilled.

YABU for being a total mug.

Just stop being so wet. Why do people do this????

We always travelled to family for Xmas.

Now we go the week before and have Xmas at home - I have had a lovely week seeing a lot of different family from all over, but we are now heading back to our own lovely low key christmas.

Put your kids first Op.

You or someone in the house needs to develop flu or norovirus. It's ridiculous to make yourself and the rest of your immediate family miserable in order to pacify your sister but if you can't actually tell them then illness it'll have to be. Flu is probably best excuse, spend the day on the couch and then the children don't have to lie to.
Then in January tell the family that you found Xmas at home best for your family, if they throw a hissy fit and say they don't want to work with suggested alternatives so be it. I don't know how your DH puts up with this every year

Is no-one on here actually looking forward to Christmas? We'll get up, open a few parcels, go for a walk, head to daughters for dinner with grandchildren, in-laws and granny. Eat some delicious food, play a few games, have a couple of drinks. A lovely day.
I appreciate that Christmas, for some, can be difficult for all sorts of reasons but it would be nice to hear that some people will have a nice day.

Do not go.

who cares if they get upset and sulk.

You really need to look out more for yourself.

Don’t go.

Don’t martyr yourself anymore.

You are NOT being a big baby OP! The time has come to say no, you’re staying home this year whether family like it or not. There’s no pleasure in feeling obliged to travel to salve someone else’s ego.
Your own family should be your priority. Stay home, and get some proper rest too.

This. It sounds like the OP asked for permission not to put herself and her family through this ordeal on Xmas Day.

Just TELL them. You're a grown-up with your own family, FFS!

I've voted YABU because you continue to put yourselves and your children through it. Just say no, this year we're staying put and you're welcome to come to us. And if they get upset well they can just get over it like you were expected to do when your daughter was excluded last year.

Juat don't go. If they can't be flexible you don't need to put yourself out.

Don’t be bullied by them,OP. What will actually happen if you say no? They might be a bit annoyed and upset but no actually harm will be done to anyone. If they don’t speak to you for a while, I’d call that a win! Give yourself permission to stay at home.

YABU. Why are you doing it?

I feel a bout of sick bug in your future OP.

You're knackered, shingles is no joke. You need to rest.

Pull a sickie and go visit at the weekend. Let them sulk.

Maybe they'll sulk so much, you'll.get next year as well.

One good thing about lockdown was how much I loved spending Christmas in the house. I'll never go visiting again.

It's pretty poor you are putting your own inability to say no above your children's feelings really.

Agree with this. Seriously (and this is meant kindly) I don't know why anyone puts themselves through this. Its OK to say no, it's too much at the best of times, but absolutely not happening at the minute after being ill. If people don't understand then that's on them not you.

I feel so sad at how much I've read on MN in the past few weeks about what folk put up with and put themselves through at Christmas. We really don't have to be martyrs.

Make this the year you think of yourself for once.

YABU for not putting yourself first for once. Do you actually want to get seriously ill?

Why are you putting other family members before your children?
Stop being a martyr and say you're having a small family Christmas at home and will see the others on another day.
Don't lie just be honest and say that you don't want to do a long drive on Christmas day.

I used to have to visit my grandparents on Christmas day as a child and hated it, I loved them but really didn't want to get dressed and leave my presents at home.
Since having my own children I've been honest and told people that we're at home on the day and make arrangements to visit on another day.

No one is the boss of you. You are the boss of you. Tell them you’re not coming and have a lovely Christmas Day at home.

We don't need to phase out the entire concept of Christmas because the OP has failed to develop a backbone!

It's a tad 'baby out with the bath water'.

Honestly longer term it’s time for big pants on and an honest conversation
this year I’d seriously consider developing D&V on Christmas Eve and staying at home. You still have time to get food in and can make it special for your kids.