Who else Is dreading the Christmas drive on Christmas day ?

This is AIBU. It would be bizarre if it was flooded with threads about what a wonderful Christmas they anticipated having.

I hear you. Some families mine are really hard to say no to.

I love my in laws and my family, but my favourite ever Christmas was covid, as I didn’t have to rush to visit everyone ! Now I host a day over the holidays, where we get to have everyone come to ours if they’d like & it’s less stressful.

You sound like you need a rest make a decision today and enjoy a Christmas at home. Plan a teams in at say 5pm to wish everyone a happy Christmas.

You've got flu. Cough. What a shame, oh well!

You genuinely aren't well. Tell them you aren't coming because of that. If they kick off turn your phone off.

Host next year. I am the opposite to you. We have never been entertained over Christmas and I am already exhausted. Lots of shopping and battling the supermarkets, huge expense, and never ending cooking, cleaning and topping up as food runs out. The thought of someone else cooking dinner sounds like bliss….

I think this is why so many people hate Christmas. None of you enjoy doing this so why have you continued for so many years? You’re all burnt out, your children hate doing it and want to be home so stay home! Visit relatives during Twixmas or before the day.

Sorry OP I simply cannot empathise at all. It would be one thing if you truly loved it when you got there but it sounds miserable to me. And your family sounds awful having no flexibility about it. We keep to ourselves on Christmas Day and see family over the festive season. I would have no problem telling them to go stuff themselves.

Just don't. Be ill or make up a reason this year and never reestablish the tradition.
Ive done the big Xmas day drive twice. Once as DM forgot she didn't have beds for everyone staying over, no open hotels so we had an impromptu day trip in hideous weather with pissed off teens. And once 10 years before where FiL was so drunk when we arrived that we left again. At least the weather was nice that time.

I haven’t read the full thread but the fact that you are getting shingles to me means your immune system is depleted and you are probably living off the fumes of stress hormones. You really should take a break and get some rest. Coupled with the fact you don’t enjoy the day and your kids would prefer to be at home you need to cancel this year.

Honestly stay at home. Christmas is tricky and you’ll never please everyone. We made the decision from the moment we had two children that we’d prioritise keeping them (and us) happy. We now stay at home and just have my mum and dad over as they are lovely and easy we then see the rest of the family before and after Christmas. They’ll eventually get used to it and it’ll be so worth it. I always remind my family that Christmas is a period of time and we don’t have to cram everything into just Christmas Day.

FGS just don't do it.

You're exhausted. Put yourselves and your children and first and stay at home, if you want to. There's no rule that says you have to do this drive.

We used to do 1 year with my mum and sisters (they're still teenagers) and 1 year with DH's family. DH's family live about 1.5 hours away but they always expected us to be the ones driving there, they never bothered to do it. We all have kids who are a similar age but apparently it's 'too hard' for them to do that drive, while for us it's obviously extremely easy 🙄.

Anyway after doing that for 4 years we got sick of it and now just don't go. We're now always with my mum/sisters for Christmas, they live 10 minutes away. My kids prefer going to their house than them come to our house (they think it's more interesting) so we always go to my mum's, but they wouldn't mind coming to our house either.

I would just stop going there. Why should you be the one always driving there while they make no effort?

Why would you force your kids to do this every year?

Stay at home OP. I have the same except this year we have gone with your siggestion of an alternative day. Thankfully, none of my family mind!

Why are you putting your parents wishes above your children’s? It’s Christmas. Your children should come first

YAB incredibly U, do what you want. You are absolutely mad - no one wants to go yet you go every year…?

I saw your weather prediction! I’ve family in Bunbury who asked us to come visit, too hot for us!! Aiming for a top of 21 here in Vic.

You should have said no

You’re a grown adult! We have only done this a few times since our DC were small and if the experience was as you describe we would have not done it at all!!

Sr d s message now and send DH to the shops to get what you need. Answer no calls, just text and keep it brief. ‘We love you but we’re too ill to travel this year.’

How can people know whether they will have a nice Day, until it actually happens? Of course lots of people are planning to have a nice Day! I am hoping to have a nice Day, for sure.

It's bonkers isn't it? So many of these "issues" could be solved by people learning not to be so bloody wet.

She doesn't have to "invent" anything. She's not been well, she and her husband are exhausted and she doesn't want to go.

The U.K. is so overcrowded that EVERYTHING is much harder. When I visited Australia, I was struck by the calmness and friendliness of the people. But that’s because Australia isn’t overcrowded. There is more space. People aren’t all jammed on top of one another in overpriced rabbit hutch houses. The roads aren’t choked with traffic either.

Every car journey, every shopping trip, every jog around the block is more difficult and stressful than it should be because there are just too many people.

I voted YABU because you’ve unnecessarily put yourself and your family through this misery every year just because you can’t say no. Get a grip and live your own life instead of living under the expectations of people who don’t have your true wellbeing at heart.