Who else Is dreading the Christmas drive on Christmas day ?

Hate, hate, hate the drive but love who I'm going to see. Last year the said 6hr drive took 9hrs coming home. We had a three year old with us who was probably the best behaved of us all.

I’d assert myself and tell them I’m not coming. Or feign a stomach bug. Either/or

I'd definitely start vomiting on the 23rd. The whole family.

Say NO. My kids always have Christmas at home. I absolutely would not be going somewhere with a bratty child that made my child cry last year. I bet your family never come to you? Why are you a doormat? Why can your sister be a dick about it but you can’t just say no? Sounds like a shit time for your poor kids who have told you they want to stay home ffs.

You could simply inform your family that you are giving your kids their own family Christmas this year. End of. If you feel you can't do that without more of an excuse then recovering from shingles is perfectly valid.

You are being a big baby but it is because this problem is easily solved but you refuse to rock the boat. Just tell everyone you are staying home this Xmas. Problem solved. It really is that simple. Advocate for yourselves. Grow a backbone. All the stuff that said on numerous other threads on the same topic of people running themselves ragged to try to please everyone else.

I'm looking forwards to Christmas because we're spending it with our closest friends who live a 5m walkaway with a toddler the same age.

The toddlers can play together in the park after opening their presents and nap without getting side eye from grandparents wanting to wind them up. They can bumble off to play together, have an early evening dinner, then since all of us will have been up since 6am, we'll be happy slumping at home on the sofa in the evening when they're in their own beds instead of being badgered into games and a late night drinking sesh by retired boomers who don't have to get up in the morning.

One year I asked If we could do Christmas eve or boxing day, I've been told that wasn't an option and it caused a lot family upset.

So, you would rather your household has a really shit Christmas instead?

Honestly, stop being such a wet lettuce and man up. You don't have to do what your parents tell you any more-you have free will.

Wha a poor, feeble example you are setting for your daughter. Taking her to an environment where she was previously bullied by her cousin because you “can’t” say no.

You can say no, you’re just choosing not to.

I feel bad for you that you're dreading what should be a lovely time. I agree with others who said:

"Sorry guys, I'm really not well enough to visit Christmas Day, I hoped I would be but sadly not. Would love to try and catch up between Christmas and New Year if we can, let me know what works and if I'm feeling better I'd be happy to host. Lots of love xxx"

The sentence on Mumsnet that quite truthfully changed my life: if SOMEONE is going to be unhappy with a decision, why does it always have to be you? Went non contact with my family, changed my life for the better. Stopped some people pleasing at work and did fewer tasks for other people, completely life changing. I'm only 11 months into living this way and I'm planning to go hard 2026 the same way. People stopped being pleased, and that was a little hard to get used to, but the ceiling didn't fall in. So so much happier. Stay at home x

I would have strategic norovirus this year, starting Christmas Eve morning, if I felt as bad as you sound. Then next year, I’d get in early and say you’re popping up for an overnight stay in a hotel in early December and leave it at that.

You don’t need to please everyone - just ensure your children and you and your DH are happy with the decision.

You should be putting yourself first. Say you're really feeling unwell and won't be coming for Christmas. But you'll arrange something in the new year, when you're feeling better.

Fuck that. Stay at home. If they really want to see you they can do the travelling.

Just don't go.

Fuck that.

Best part of being an adult is doing what you want.

Come down with flu, or even better a tummy bug and stay at home.
Your family's needs ( and I mean your husband and children) along with your own wishes have to be primary at Christmas.
There is absolutely no way you and your husband should be using your precious rest and holiday time to do that journey. Your wider family are being selfish and are lacking in consideration expecting this of you every year.
Put yourself first. If you can't or won't no one else ever will ❤️🎄❤️

Bonkers. No way would I put my family through that, it’s bloody ridiculous to expect DC to spend over 3 hours in the car on Christmas Day.

Sorry OP but I put YABU. So many threads on gere recently with people moaning on about things they are perfectly capable of putting right. If your family are really that arsey then you haven't missed out on anything. Time to use your voice and say no.

This sounds like hell, It's making you and your kids sad and you are ill. Lots of food in the shops still stay home rest and recover and in the future just say no.

40 degrees, perfect???

Just don’t go. Do Christmas at home.

Or if you do go, book into a holiday inn or something the night before. Even if it’s half an hour away this would be better. Don’t even discuss with family, none of their business.

You’re a grown woman with options here.

I'm driving 250 miles on Christmas Day and 250 miles on Boxing Day, I refuse to drive on Christmas Eve as it takes twice as long. I'm sucking it up because it's the first time I've done it for 20 years but I'm not looking forward to it

Lots of tough love on this thread but I think you needed to hear it OP. I hope it’s given you the confidence to make a change and that you have a nice Christmas at home

I would phone and tell them
that you are too unwell to go, I used to be a chronic people pleaser and agree to plans that I would then fret over…
I hit 40 and just basically thought I needed to try and do what I wanted from then on…. In the last almost 2 years I’ve done exactly this, the sky has not fallen down , my family still speak to me although there is probably a lack of closeness now that I once thought was there….
Turns out unless I was the one doing the running around, people weren’t that bothered about altering their plans to accommodate me and my children/DH.
Its been liberating, if I’m asked to do something/go somewhere I don’t want to, I just say that I don’t want to, it isn’t going to work for me or I’ve got plans to do something else.
No one else is going to advocate for you, you need to start doing it for yourself and the fact you’ve been worrying/giving it headspace for days means it really isn’t worth it.
Cancel the trip, get your Christmas bits and have a lovely Christmas Day at home!

I do it most years to the inlaws although its about 50 miles each ways so not quite as bad but this year have decided we are doing christmas at home with just me, dh, the baby and the dog. I am honestly so excited for the babies first christmas. We will go in inlaws for new years day instead.