What do people see when they look at me??

I’d think it was more your husband looking young and a little you being perceived as older. Do you work? If not they may assume you retired and put you in an older bracket. I did the opposite with a much older colleague, way beyond retirement age but assumed he was 15 -20 years younger due to circumstances. Not reflecting how he looked really.

I’m mistaken for looking younger and people assumed I was my daughters’ sister when they were little. I wonder, now my husband is grey and balding, how we’re perceived. Although it’s usually more acceptable that way around…

Skincare and a little make up can be a big help. Make sure you wear sunscreen on those long walks, all year round.

I think as I do of all women there is so much more to you than what you look like..

I also think that these other peoples assumptions and opinions do not matter.

I thino you should invest some self care time to make you feel good about yourself.

Eat something nourishing , do some good quality age appropriate skin care and have a little wardrobe re vamp 🩷

.. & remember you are enough x

There you go then. Some people are stupid, some are just crapheads who get a kick out of being nasty. It's not worth worrying about.

Utterly wild to me how many people are suggesting expensive and intensive physical alterations. It's like a crappy tween glow up film but everyone's older... You can feel good about yourself without this crap. Other people don"t matter. Your health, relationships, how you feel does. People are weird. Let them be.

What’s this supposed to prove exactly? AI isn’t accurate and is just telling you what it thinks you want to hear.

I don’t like the assumption thrown around on this thread that a male and female out and about together must be romantically engaged. What a simple-minded assumption.

I’d hate it if anyone thinks I’m dating my brothers or my dad! It’s like some people forget platonic relationships exist and are the safer assumption to make if it’s random people you don’t actually know or care to know.

In any case, I wouldn’t assume people think OP’s relationship is family because of her face, but rather because of how they present in public. It’s obvious two people are in a relationship if you see signs of PDA, it’s obvious it’s parent/child if someone is being reprimanded or someone looks frail and is being cared for etc. in any case, it’s a simple misunderstanding to clear up. I agree that it’s your husband behind this, it would take him seconds to correct a misunderstanding and refer to you as his wife, he’s totally playing into it

Don't do botox/fillers for the sake of others. I would be bothered initially in these circs but then have a word with myself... Think about what you like, what makes you happy. If you can do one thing that fulfils that, do it. It doesn't need to be a new item of clothing or hair cut. You are more than your looks. You are more than a body that has let you down. You are more than others' opinions. Feed your self. And perhaps squint at OH and see whether he is kind to you, sees you as who you are. It's hard to tell from this. Equally if you have no energy for 'one thing' then leave it. Allow yourself to be.

There is something more going on here, I think. Why I think this:

'He once told me that one of his colleagues saw us out together and made a comment during workplace banter that DH lived with an old lady. I was offended that he just laughed it off and didn’t stick up for me.'

Why on earth did your husband tell you about that? It's a really rude and quite risky thing to say that to a man about his own wife?! It would be interesting to know more about this and the exact context. Your husband most definitely should have corrected the person and it was very strange and unkind to repeat it to you.

Regarding the Christmas cards. You sent your neighbours Christmas cards first, correct? So you have written 'from Shelley & Brad at no.17.' Why would your neighbours assume from that that you are mother and son and not a couple. I find that an unusual assumption to make - and 2 of them have made it. Even with a visibly large age gap, most people would naturally assume couple rather than mother and son.

I believe you when you write that you cannot see how they are seeing a person in their 70's when you look in the mirror. You would know if you looked 70+.

I would make a point of holding hands or having your arms around one another when you are out walking the dog. You need to correct people and stand up for yourself and end this ridiculous rumour/assumption whatever it is that these people have made.

@Imnotlaughing, I am the same. Look older than I am. I think it's a combination of never really bothering to do the skin care / focus on my self (it always bored me) and also having had a really hard life, including life threatening illness.

I can make myself look a bit better with a huge effort, but most of the time I can't be bothered.

Apart from the first one I don’t think you can blame neighbours for being ignorant, unless they are being deliberately insulting and it seems they’re not.

I was once mistaken for my ex’s daughter (there’s only five years difference). I thought it was hilarious, him not so much. He didn’t look old for his age, I looked younger than my age.

I once got mistaken for my dad's wife. However, I think that that's a lot to do with my dad having a thick head of dark hair and looking significantly younger as a result, whilst I'm gray. Could this be you and hubby?

Upload a picture and I will let you know x

I have seen a lot of drug addicts look particularly haggard - toothless, unkempt hair, terrible skin - and way older than their years but I am sure that you’re not like that OP. A makeover could help or a new hair do/session with a stylist.

Sure you don’t look anything like his mum, someone has misheard something and got their lines crossed. You mention walking the dogs, we often say to the dogs go to your mum or dad, bet it’s something as simple as that.

Its a shame the the OP says she doesn't see what they see and instead of encouraging a self-confident mindset, people are encouraging her towards cosmetic enhancements.

I think it's your partner that looks young , not you looking old.

Edited to say - I tried to quote OP here when she said older people are making the comments....
The age of people commenting jumped out at me too. I think there are certain things that they see as 'ageing' or 'youthful' and it clouds all judgement. ie: grey hair/bright colours.
Example, one of my nan's elderly mates asked my dad if he was her sister at her 85th birthday party 🤦 my dad was a fairly youthful looking 50 at the time, but with a bald head. It was ridiculous. And upsetting for him!
I got told I was a good girl for helping mum with the shopping by an older lady in Asda. I was 32, my 'mum' was my 32 year old friend. 😭 We look exactly the same age, but I was wearing (don't ask me why) pigtails and a tracksuit, she goes for goth glam and lots of tattoos. It was horrible because it offended my friend so much, whereas I could see it was clearly batshit and based on a snap judgement

Op, you can never underestimate how much people don’t really look closely at others. I used to bleach my hair and am a bit overweight and once got mistaken for my elderly mother by a new carer! It will be posture, hair style, clothing that people are glancing at and assessing. It’s easy to get into ruts, and not notice. Perhaps time for a glow up?

Yes! I'm going through this right now. I've always looked younger than my age, but going into peri its like someone destroyed the portrait of me in the attic and its all caught up and then some! Now, because DH is ageing gently, and I'm aging in sprints, there can be a bit of a gap. I noticed my middle aged spread, double chin, drooping eyelids, but the changes on him are almost imperceptible. Just another joy of being a woman i guess 🤣

OP, I am also 'prematurely aged' due to earlier lifestyle choices and chronic illnesses.
For about 20 years, I heavily abused drink and drugs. I've been abstinent from drugs for nigh on 8 years and mainly abstinent from alcohol.
But, my face definitely reflects the way I abused my body. And, in the past, people have thought I was my DDs' Granny. 😂
But, I'm at peace with it - and my ugly face - as I'm lucky to be alive (and I still have very good teeth, unlike most of my acquaintances in recovery).

🚩

Your husband is laughing at people saying this and also saw a card that said this and handed it to you in silence knowing that you’d be hurt, clearly waiting to see you be hurt.

I wouldn’t want to stay with someone who treated me like that no matter what anyone looked like.

@Imnotlaughing do you have grey hair and your husband not? That alone can put people decades apart.

If it makes you feel any better OP, my partner is nearly 7 years older than me. My mum when met him the first time asked if he was a toyboy, Last year a neighbour from around the corner asked if he was my son. Yes, was the cause of much laughter from my other half!!
Sometimes us ladies just hook up with blokes with good genes. To be fair, his dad didn't age or even go grey til after his 70th birthday, that's what I am blaming it on, lol.