What do people see when they look at me??

My dad got mistaken for my grandad from his late 30s because he went grey early, had John Major specs, and a big white beard. He's actually looked the same for as long as I can remember because of that, he's not quite 70 yet but people didn't realise he was 10y younger than my mum.

She stayed looking younger until all of a sudden her terrible diet caught up with her (undereater), and she has incredibly deep wrinkles.

I understand that it's embarrassing, but as PP have said, try to separate out the "you" feelings from the "other people" feelings, and have a word with your husband about his tactless sharing of rude comments.

"I think most of us can usually tell a parent and adult child together from a married couple together. "

Not really. If I just see people out shopping and there's a 20 year age gap, my first impression is parent and child.
Obviously, as you get to know people you see how they interact and you might get a better idea.

Is your hair grey? That’s massively aging. I wouldn’t take the opinion of AI as truth.

Op you sound like you just need to love yourself more.
Like what you see own it.

Skin care tbh is crap dont spend out on something that, says it can turn back time.
Fillers botox crap will age you.

Cold water baby soap and vaseline and e45 or anyother good moisturiser.
I only use sensitive baby wash and baby lotions my sink is very sensitive.
And i I will be honest only using the above things I've aged less and saved me money.

From her post it sounded fairly neutral, but this mainly just points to the fact that what we call AI is a large language model. It copies words. It does it really well. I use it sometimes in learning (coding related) and it really isn't built for much else than copying language... Best avoided for most things. Someone I know recently used one for drafting a letter to their solicitor to tell them to stop fucking around so they could actually finish buying a house. It worked. It does words. It doesn't "think". So I kind of agree that it's a red herring... Somebody might come by and correct me on this, though.

Tbf op you seem to be happy with yourself as you are.

You don’t think you look as old as these people assumed, you like your comfortable clothing, you are active, you have not mentioned that you are unhappy with your skin or your hair or your teeth or your weight and you are not asking for any tips on how to look younger or change yourself in any way. I would not take a lot of notice as you accept yourself as you are.

There's something fishy going on here OP, but I'm not sure what.

My DH has always looked younger than me, he's actually 3+ years older. No one has ever assumed I'm his mother though, that would be very strange...and rude.

Sorry its though less of the neighbours. My MIL did look a lot older than my FIL. She smoked a lot and was quite wrinkly, she looked about 70 a good 15 years older than she was. My FIL was upset when an ambulance man asked him questions about his mum when they were called (she did have some health issues related to smoking). There's not much you can do really, as long as your husband loves you it's inside that counts. If you are really concerned there might be some makeup ideas that can help it botox maybe but you shouldn't really have to.

I haven't read all the thread.
A new colleague started in my team, I and a few others were trying to guess her age. I thought 30's to 40's. Turns out she is mid 20's! She does have youthful skin. I think trendy glasses would make such a difference.
I think some people just look and act older.

Do you have a name that sounds remotely like any variation of mum when your DH says it?

Could it be your posture? Mine is very bad, and in recent photos I thought I looked like a little old lady (only 57). My husband is older than me by five years and also looks younger than me.

This OP
Alot of people look older if they don't address the above.
If I let my hair go grey and stopped colouring it, I would look significantly older.
I'm not suggesting that people shouldn't embrace going grey if they want to but that is just one example.
Take care OP, small steps

Do your own research. it’s hard coded to be flattering, conciliatory and tell you what you want to hear. I guarantee if OP goes back to the model and challenges the comments made, the bot will agree and change opinion.

Could your husband be implying you are his Mum as some kind of poor 'joke'?

I would use names in neighbour cards when I didnt know relationships so that's odd in itself

Solidarity OP 💐🌷💐

Hi OP, I bet you look fine but I do understand how hurtful remarks and assumptions about age and appearance can really sting as it can cut to the core of our self esteem. The worst thing somebody ( a man) once said to me was this "You must have been really good looking once, have you thought about gettng a face lift?" this was a random stranger! I laughed it off but it really hurt me and I still wince when I think about it. The people who have made daft assumptions about you and your husband will not have thought things through and not have considered that they are wrong. Do pamper yourself with some nice skin care if that appeals, I love my weekly face mask not only for looking after my skin but because I always lie on my bed and read while using it. Makes it a double treat . I like using skin creams and while they won't wipe years off your face it can be a way of spoiling yourself. You sound lovely, kind, reflective and perceptive and that is what really matters about a person.

Also finding it hard to get a read on the OH behaviour

'another neighbour put a card through our door addressed to DH & ‘Mum’. He saw it first and handed it to me in silence knowing what I’d think.'

Something about this feels 'off'. Why hand it to you at all? Why silence rather than 'I am going to go out and correct our neighbours on this mistake today'?

How does ai know what age she wants to hear?

👏👏👏👏

Doing my best by not giving a fuck over here 😎

😡 Don't fill your face with plastic because some idiots don't know what a 50 something woman should look like, as some have suggested.
Some of us should fight the rising trend to look like a melted waxwork.

Exactly

Pp thinking dh told them that he's your son realise he has a cruel streak. He was cruel telling you someone called you an old lady. My dh wouldn't dream of it. That's if they even did say it.

There's lots of things you can do to make yourself look better/younger without botox. I had my eyebrows microbladed. And hair colour/style makes a big difference. Gentle face massage to stop puffiness and face yoga to help it firm. A decent skincare regime. Doesn't have to be expensive.

Some light make up especially mascara and blusher.

I like this ❤️