What do people see when they look at me??

Is your hairstyle aging you op?

I saw a video with the golden girls with longer/modern hairstyles and it was amazing how much younger they looked with exactly the same faces!

It certianly made me rethink chopping my hair off for an easier old age!

Also:

'One of those neighbours approached me last week to ask me to thank my son for the Christmas card.'

Did you ask your husband why he sent a Christmas card to this neighbour only from himself? Not from you, too?

Yeah her. I think white/ grey hair is much less ageing. It takes a certain attitude to wear it. And that’s what makes it seem younger.

Although people are ova free to do their hair how they want!

Totally agree. You are thinking of Tamsin Greig. Both she and Emma look fabulous with either minimal or no Botox and fillers. But they also look their age, just great.
I think it's because they are toned and athletic.

Emma Thompson looks amazing. So did that actress in Riot Wonen with the short grey hair.

Tinted blonde layers are much more ageing.

I was mistaken for my dad's wife twice. Seriously creeped me out for a variety of reasons and still does 🫣

👆Yes.

Yep. Short hair and grey hair are very ageing.

It’s your husband. As the above poster said I don’t believe that anyone called you an “old lady” to his face. I suspect that he’s saying and implying things to people because he wants you to change your appearance or “put more effort in” (clothes/makeup/hair/whatever) and is too chickenshit to say that to you.

Understandable, OP.

I would approach one of these neighbours and thank them for the card, correct them nicely and ask them honestly why they thought you were mother and son.

Because the reason for this does not appear to be due to your appearance.

My mum says the opposite- she thinks that ageing hairstyle for women is shorter hair, and that women over a certain age seem to go for short styles.

I’m hoping chat gpt is accurate 😂 I’ve just uploaded three photos of me and my mate

• Woman on the left: likely in her late 30s to early 40s - I’m 52
• Woman on the right: likely in her late 50s to mid-60s - she’s 58

My first thought is that dh may be referring to you in a particular way when out and about and not correcting people who think he means his mum; or worse, is having an affair with a younger woman and letting people think you are his mother. Or even worse he is gaslighting you. I know it may sound unlikely, but i also can't understand why he would tell you something hurtful that someone at work said. Also why did the neighbour say to thank your son (dh) for the xmas card - did your dh write one coming just from him? Why didn't he write it from both of you? He doesn't sound very sensitive or supportive and something pretty weird is happening if you definitely look roughly your age.

In my opinion, the incident with the card has probably caused you to spiral. It would to me too. This woman is in her 70s, her eyesight is probably not 100% and she doesn't know you properly. I've thought that people were older also but then they obviously aren't once you get to know them. And to be honest, once I get to know them and like them, their appearance and personality merge into one. It is just them. And we all have our life experiences. If you want to though, then ya, you could take the opportunity to hit the sales, get make up advice/makeover at a make up counter (Christmas is the ideal time for that) and make yourself look awesome. A little effort goes a long way, I think it's easy to forget in the everyday grind

They didn't look so much older when the programme was on though as their hair was in fashion then. It's only by our standards now that they look older than their age.

I am exactly your age, btw, and DH is 57.
The one thing I am.focusing on is staying slim- ish and active. Which you are already doing.( I walk a lot too).

Also your DH needs to shut up.

I agree it can look great, but it does tend to be aging anyway.

'One of those neighbours approached me last week to ask me to thank my son for the Christmas card. I didn’t know what to say so just politely acknowledged their gratitude without correcting them.'

See, I find this odd, also. Why didn't you correct them, OP?

You need to correct these people and you should be bloody furious about your husband repeating what his colleague said to him about living with an 'old lady.' Quite honestly, I don't believe it was said. I don't believe anyone would say that to a man about his wife (he would be VERY brave to). And it was so weird and unkind that your husband repeated it to you.

You know you don't look like an 'old lady' (and so what if you did?). Just put the neighbours straight.

@Imnotlaughing

Well I took the plunge and uploaded a picture and asked ChatGPT to guess how old I looked. It gave two different answers. Both guesses were around 55 years old. So even AI doesn’t think I look like Mrs Doubtfire!

So it could be what you’re wearing if your face comes up as your real age (near enough).

Dh once dropped something off for me at my workplace.

He overheard someone says ‘Arse’s dad has just something off for her’

He still talks about it now 20 years later.

I dont agree that gray hair is ageing.
Most just need to style it.
Some ive seen look fabulous.

I think the most important thing about this scenario is that it’s really bothered you. Which implies you aren’t happy with how you look and do think you look older than your husband (even tho you keep insisting you don’t)

If 3 different people have said this then my guess is you look 20 years older than your husband if not more.

ask a friend what you could do to improve things

Genetics. I was a reyt bonny lass, looked young for my age. 35 hit and I aged overnight. It was a bit of a shock, but I have stopped worrying about it. Waste of energy. Which I also have way less of now, ha!