What do people see when they look at me??

Yes every time I look at Tamsin Grieg I think how old she looks.

What absolute tosh. How can you actually write such bollocks.

Exactly. Something amiss with the whole thing.

The only way to get a truthful answer here is to post your photo. You can edit out your eyes that may help disguise who you are in RL.

My colleague is 27! But he does look like a kid. We always joke he looks like a kid!

Does he join in the "joke" that he looks like a kid? As someone who was the butt of these type of "jokes" for years, I can assure you I found them anything but funny and simply a sign that the joker had never learned any manners.

Did the neighbour thank YOU for the card as well? It would be strange if he only wanted to pass on his regards to your "son" if the card was from both of you.

And the young ones can absolutely hate being thought of as younger as well...

We went for our Christmas lunch at work few weeks back. I showed my daughter the photos and she asked whether one of my colleagues was part time working and studying at the same time. My colleague is 27! But he does look like a kid. We always joke he looks like a kid! But I was surprised my child who is 9 thought he was 16 without ever being aware of any of these conversations.

Do you have grey hair? That can be very ageing. It's difficult to say though OP. Need a photo really.

Like others, I find people's assumptions quite odd.

I am 57, people often think I am early forties, DP is 55 and easily looks 60+ but noone has ever assumed he's my dad!

This is why I write door numbers on the envelopes and just sign off inside (no “to such and such”

what might help is when you’re out together next, catch yourself and him in the shop mirror together. That initial look will tell you everything ime

Are you sure it’s about your looks and not about behaviour? May be you act like a grown up and your DH is particularly immature.

Is it possible that one of the neighbours has got it into their heads that you are his mum and has insisted this 'fact' to the others. Maybe the other neighbours reaction was "No way! I thought they were a couple? really? No way! Are you sure!?" I am going to blame it one (mad) individual on your street who has persuaded the others. x

Quite and telling op that someone said she looked like an old lady, he doesn’t sound like a nice person at all, he’s playing his own game here. He didn’t need to tell you anything negative that’s been said about you and personally I’d have binned the card before you saw it given he knows you feel a bit sensitive about your appearance. He’s either keeping you ‘in your place ’ or fucking with you trying to push you into ‘making more effort’

Honestly op, one if the many things I've learnt from a career taking witness statements is how terrible the general public are at observation -including guessing anything like age, height, distances, time of day, nationality, ethnicity, type of car.....

If you look at the "how old am I?" Threads on here you will see how far off some people are!

When I was 16 I was assumed to be my brother's mother twice in the space of a few months - I was only 2 years older than him and he was half a foot taller. One of the times was by a family friend who had met all of us!

Also a lot of people, particularly women, put a lot of effort into looking younger these days- including spending a lot of time and money on cosmetic procedures, skincare, flattering clothes. Therefore someone who has grown older naturally might be assumed to be a lot older if the observer's baseline of what an average 50 something is different. Like if you asked a team of basketball players what was an average height they'd probably estimate a few inches higher than normal - they know they are taller than average but their frame of reference is still a bit off.

I saw a thing on social media the other day of a group of women in their 40s from the 80s and they all looked so much older than what most people consider an average 40 year old to look like today.

In my opinion, it is partly to do with drawing the eye upward. You may have never heard of it, but people who work in that area, hairdressers and stylists and the like, do recommend drawing the eye upward once you are older. You don't have to agree with it, but it's a thing.

If you say so 🤷‍♀️ I mean knee length hair is pretty extreme - I’m not sure I’ve seen that on anyone and I’m sure it doesn’t flatter anyone either. However I reckon if your sister had a soft shoulder length style that would look better than a close crop. And most people with salt and pepper hair would look younger if they lost the salt part.

I was once mistaken for a friends mum! She was killing herself laughing, me, less so. I don’t look old for my age, my fiend even has more wrinkles, but she just has a young look about her. I wouldn’t worry.

This is why l said it’s about attitude. Nothing to do with drawing the eye upwards. Never heard of it.

What about load of crap.
Sorry.
But it depends on who you are, my sister had knee length hair and it aged her, she shaved it off number 2, and it suits her and took ten year of her.
Me i had a shaved head and I couldn't pull it off, I looked older and looked like a man.
I have long Cork screw curls salt and pepper.
And the grays have not aged me.

Okay. But we’re talking about things that are ageing and grey short hair is ageing on most women, dramatically so for many.

I didn’t say she looked young for her age. I said she looked amazing. They aren’t the same thing.

I disagree. Emma Thompson doesn’t look young for her age at all. One case in point is Miranda in And Just Like That. In series 1 she was grey, now she’s back to being a redhead and looks stunning and a lot younger with dyed hair.

Strange that the neighbour didn't just thank you, in that case.

They have sticky up hair though don't they, not the usual choice of style for women that age, but still conforming to the traditional theory that older women should have hair that draws the eye upwards rather than downwards.

It depends how close you are to the person. If you see someone from far away, you can't see things like wrinkles on the face. The most obvious thing is hair colour and grey and white hair are obviously associated with older people.

Similarly, I don't think clothes are very important for neighbours as they're probably seeing each other outside. They're mainly just seeing the coat.