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AIBU?

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Original poster

Aibu to feel annoyed in laws have invited friends over on Christmas day

186 replies

Indiaplain · 21/12/2025 22:08

We are visiting my PiL for Christmas - they live abroad so this happens rarely. My MiL was delighted we are going. However she called DH today and casually mentioned they had also invited some friends over for Christmas Day.

Im feeling annoyed as it changes the whole dynamic. My teenage DC were not looking forward to it anyway (very long journey, not much to do there, very rural plus they are not close to the PiL) - neither was I but thought maybe a good opportunity for them to spend together, and was trying to think positively. Aibu to feel so annoyed about this?

They’re big drinkers as are most of their friends so now I’m thinking it’s going to turn into a big drunken session (MiL has brought a karaoke machine - my DC’s nightmare tbh!).

OP posts:
notatinydancer · 21/12/2025 23:08

I would hate that but it’s their house.

Minniliscious · 21/12/2025 23:05

Can I go instead?

Bridesmaidorexfriend · 21/12/2025 23:03

I’d cancel

Katflapkit · 21/12/2025 22:59

doodleygirl · 21/12/2025 22:14

Maybe it will be fun

Sounds like it will be great fun.

AmyDuPlantier · 21/12/2025 22:57

Yikes, board games on Christmas Day would definitely be ‘fetch the karaoke machine’ territory for me

GalaxyJam · 21/12/2025 22:52

MCF86 · 21/12/2025 22:17

which is fine, but don't invite your grandchildren you hardly see at the same time, and only mention additional guests when all arrangements are made.

Show quote history

Were they actually invited though? The OP just said that they were going and the MIL was delighted about it. They may have invited themselves.

ComedyGuns · 21/12/2025 22:51

I think this sounds brilliant - surely the more the merrier! I don’t really understand your reservations. When there’s more people you can sort of dip in and out of proceedings and do more of your own thing.

Tryingatleast · 21/12/2025 22:51

It’s their home and they’re probably excited at spending it with family and friends and you all getting to see their life. It will probably go better than you think and your dc will have a laugh

Chinsupmeloves · 21/12/2025 22:49

It's their Christmas and this is what they do. Surely the more the merrier, especially for your DC to meet new people?

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 21/12/2025 22:46

Sounds really fun

Countduckula52 · 21/12/2025 22:46

So long as they don’t forget the red carpet you’ll all be fine. Have a great Christmas Karaoke. Even I would partake after a few wines and it being Christmas.

Lamentingalways · 21/12/2025 22:46

I think it’s rude of them. You accepted the invite based on the understanding that it would be you and them. If husband is on board then say one of you is ill and stay at home.

Original poster
Indiaplain · 21/12/2025 22:43

Thanks all. I think I am a bit controlling but wish I wasn’t! My DC are not particularly moody but a bit shy esp with people they don’t know - karaoke def not for them. Board games more so.

OP posts:
hattie43 · 21/12/2025 22:42

ResusciAnnie · 21/12/2025 22:16

YANBU I’d fucking hate that.

Me too

AppropriateAdult · 21/12/2025 22:40

MotherOfCrocodiles · 21/12/2025 22:17

Odd first comment, of course they can invite who they like to their house but it is rude to invite people and then, once they e committed to come (long way, expensive) change the plan

OP is it normal where they live to socialise on Christmas Day? Maybe they are wanting to show off the grandkids to their friends?

Id be horrified too but it might be that they want the friends to meet you rather than they are deprioritising your family

‘Horrified’? That seems a bit extreme, no? It’s Christmas, and they’re having guests over for dinner - this is not in any sense abnormal behaviour.

RawBloomers · 21/12/2025 22:35

That would annoy me too. But it's just one day (albeit Christmas day), and not everyone lives by the same social rules. I don't think there's anything you can do to improve the situation other than face it with as positive an attitude as you can muster.

KellyJonesLeatherTrousers · 21/12/2025 22:34

You didn’t want to go anyway and now you have another reason not to enjoy it.
Sounds like they just love a party atmosphere! God forbid the whole day isn't focused on moody teenagers.
You never know, it might even be ok.

bumptybum · 21/12/2025 22:31

PermanentTemporary · 21/12/2025 22:19

Your dc hate karaoke?? Why?

If, some day in the future I’m facing Christmas with two glum teenage grandchildren, I too might import some people who are fun and pleased to see me.

Because it’s some people’s idea of hell. Surely you know this.

RubieChewsDay · 21/12/2025 22:29

I think at Christmas it’s the more the merrier. It sounds like it could be fun and whoever said teens shouldn’t be made to feel uncomfortable is deluded. Stepping outside their comfort zone is exactly what all teens should be doing, it’s how you learn to cope with the world.

WimpoleHat · 21/12/2025 22:29

How long are you going there for? If it’s a very short visit, I can see why the changed dynamic might be an issue for you. If it’s a few days, though, you’ll have plenty of tome with them and I’d think it was nice that they wanted you to meet their friends.

RampantIvy · 21/12/2025 22:25

doodleygirl · 21/12/2025 22:14

Maybe it will be fun

Karaoke? Fun?
Are you on glue?

I would be sloping off to my bedroom.

I initially thought the OP was being unreasonable, but as soon as I read that there would be karaoke I'm not surprised she is pissed off. I loathe karaoke.

mugglewump · 21/12/2025 22:22

If you are staying with them in another country, I am sure you are there for more than one day, so lots of time to spend together. Your children are teens, so it's not a child-centred Christmas. Some jollility and karaoke may well be good fun, and if the kids don't want to do it they can retire to their room.

IndigoIsMyFavouriteColour · 21/12/2025 22:20

Maybe it will be fun but YANBU for wondering how it’s going to go.

PermanentTemporary · 21/12/2025 22:19

Your dc hate karaoke?? Why?

If, some day in the future I’m facing Christmas with two glum teenage grandchildren, I too might import some people who are fun and pleased to see me.

Tourmalines · 21/12/2025 22:19

Maybe they know your kids and yourself don’t really want to go so they would rather inject some fun into it !

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