Aibu to feel annoyed in laws have invited friends over on Christmas day

The changed dynamic of having non-family members there can make it a lot more relaxed and fun. I found this when I invited some non-family friends to join me and my kids for Christmas the first year after my divorce. It was a different vibe, yes, but in a nice way.

Takes some board games they can be played aswell. I feel like your kids are picking up on your negativity you need to to be positive about it and explain to them about going with an open mind you might all be surprised

Yep we’re definitely board games or charades. Karaoke would also be our idea of hell for Christmas Day but we’re all tone deaf!

YANBU to be slightly annoyed that the idea of what you thought was going to be your Christmas Day isn’t going to happen. However, sometimes it is a good thing that every once in a while things are shaken up. You may all enjoy it. Throw yourself into the day. You will have, I assume, other days around the main day which may be more like you envisioned.

Ha ha. And fetch the karaoke machine would be bedtime or another escape for me. We’re all different.

Have you considered that they feel the same about you and are hoping to “dilute” you a bit?🤣

This is such a British way of thinking. ‘How dare the people that we are going to stay with in another country invite friends to their house on a day of celebration’ 🤣

Whilst this would be my absolute nightmare they can do what they want in their own home. So I’ve had to vote YABU. Not necessarily for your feelings but expecting to change it. Can you all get out for a few hours in the day for a walk? Retire to another room for a different activities. Def get your DH to manage expectations before you arrive and explain your kids are unlikely to join in the karaoke etc.

YABU. It is their house, they can invite who they like.

Tbh I wouldn't like it. BUT I wouldn't say anything. Maybe the friends have just lost someone/are lonely for christmas so Pil are being kind inviting them. Anyway what's stopping you bringing board games and playing with your dc while they sing? I think you're bringing your dc into this while in fact it's you who don't like the setup. Just own it and then get on with it.

Some of you sound so unpleasant and churlish. It’s a party. Are you really going to sit around with a face like a smacked arse because you’re not controlling the show?

FGS have a drink and enjoy yourselves.

OP, perhaps this is an opportunity to teach your DCs to be sociable and get along with others rather than it all just being about THEM.

That’s fair enough, but it needs to be a two way street!

Take some board games for the teenagers, hace a few drinks and join in

Yabu

It’s not all about the teenagers though?

You've obviously planned this substantial-sounding (abroad, rural area, very long journey) trip for a reason; your hosts also hosting someone else for dinner one day that you're there shouldn't change that. Is it possible that you didn't want to go in the first place and are now looking for confirmation of your position? If the children have sensory issues around karaoke, could your husband mention that to his parents and prep them a little so there's no misunderstanding if the children don't participate? If you feel that the trip is overall unappealing, can you perhaps build in a day or two of more interesting activities - although PILs live rurally, you're likely travelling through a busier place to get to them and could break up the very long journey, perhaps on the way home?

How long is the whole visit, OP?

Well surely OP's family has been informed, otherwise they wouldn't know the friends were coming. What did they want, a year's notice? If my family decided they didn't want to come to my house for Christmas because someone else was going to be there it would be the last time I hosted them.

I completely agree with this. I usually agree with your house your rules, but it's the lack of priorities that makes me think YANBU. I know that my teens would hate it too - not that they are moody or rude, just that they can be a bit socially awkward and are exhausted from the last term at school/college.

Some of you really don't understand what Christmas is all about.

Your PILs can invite whoever they like to their house. Honestly, it's one day surely you can all suck it up and at least pretend to enjoy it.

Now that is rude.

Whatever happened to trying to make the most of a situation, teaching kids some social skills and resilience. It might be fun, you might just possibly enjoy yourself and if not, nothing bad will happen, its still an opportunity for kids to get to know grandparents and for your family to do something different for xmas this year.

YABU. Such a negative attitude. Why be so pessimistic?? Also - grumpy teen is grumpy. Shocking! Teens rarely think hanging out with relatives/older people for extended periods is fun. That doesn't mean they get to dictate what others do.

If someone invites you for Christmas, it would be polite to inform you who else was going to be there! Their home or not, it’s common decency. Everyone can then decide if they are happy with the dynamic or not.

YANBU it sounds dreadful. Think I’d be inclined to cancel the trip- if they only rarely see you all and can’t prioritise the chance to spend time with their GC over friends then I would not make the effort to travel there. Get a Sainsbury’s Christmas dinner in a box and enjoy yourselves!

It is beyond controlling to presume to control the guest list at someone else’s house. Who the hell do you think you are?

Also, your teenagers have obviously not learned how to be good guests yet, this is a good time to learn.

And as for those recommending you get flu to avoid interacting with random strangers: grow the fuck up and stop behaving with a complete dick.

YANBU - you are making the effort to travel abroad and were expecting to spend quality time with family, not some random people you've never met. They could presumably see these friends any other day of the year.

I’m surprised by the negative responses are negative. I would have thought the more the merrier, particularly under the circumstances where you and the teenagers aren’t that close with the PILs. Maybe the friends would otherwise be alone.