Aibu to feel annoyed in laws have invited friends over on Christmas day

It’s not too late to say that you’ve decided to have Christmas at home this year and you’ll see them on another day. The shops are still open for food shopping. It’s sounds like you in-laws have plenty of company and will have a lovely day regardless.

God I dont blame them . You sound deadly.

I disagree with this. To me it sounds more like they can’t be bothered to spend quality time with their grandchildren. Why invite the OP and her family if they wanted to spend the day drinking and doing karaoke with their friends? It’s the height of bad manners to invite people over to stay and then not think about your responsibilities as a host.

I would raise this with them before I committed to going-it’s not too late to back out.

If I knew there would be karaoke somewhere I'd develop the flu or noro

It won't be just a day though will it?

Me too. 😄

I think it’s sounds fun. I love a party vibe at Christmas. But each to their own and I can understand people want different things from the day.

They can do Christmas Day how they wish however so you might just have to suck it up this year and make sure you plan exactly what you want next year where you aren’t involved with others.

YANBU and neither are they. You're different people. I would feel the same, karaoke is such a marmite thing. I agree with the poster above, take a board game.. in fact buy a couple of board games as Xmas gifts if you haven't already (the traitors one looks good).. tell them clearly your kids are not into karaoke at all (who really is at that age).. different room with your games and be firm. Keep repeating... "Oh karaoke just isn't for them at all, but you have fun"... don't let them force it on you.

I only ever see the "my little family" trope trotted out on mumsnet.
We had a non family member with us last Christmas, and have a friend of DD's coming to stay this Christmas.

I wish I lived nearer the rest of my family as I love big family get togethers at Christmas.

Then I think you need to take a couple of their favorite board games that they can play in another room.

Indeed. It’s their house they can invite who they want. For all you know they always invite friends over at Xmas. Are they supposed to stop because OP turns up? Maybe they are just nice friendly people who like to open their house and share Xmas far and wide - you know, the opposite of the miserable Brit attitude.

It’s not about you

I would be a bit miffed - it’s not the fact she’s invited other people, it’s the fact she’s done so after you’ve arranged to go and booked travel etc - basically changing the goalposts of what you’ve been invited to.

That said, I do agree with the pp that this might actually turn out to be an improvement. If your DC aren’t that comfortable around PIL then having some extra people around to take up their time and attention might help.

Agree with taking some puzzles or board games or cards so there is an alternative activity to karaoke and make sure nobody’s arm gets twisted into joining in if they really don’t want to.

This would defo annoy me too, I don't mind friends on Christmas eve or Boxing Day but for me, I just want to be us on Christmas Day unless it was a friend who would be on their own otherwise

You’re a negative nancy (and it seems your. children are a bit too. They know this so they’re inviting other people to make the day more bearable for them.

They sound like selfish people who are only focused on their own fun. Could you change plans at the last minute and not go due to someone in your household getting flu?

I don't think it's even particularly British. I think it's quite a new thing - a precious 'my little family' attitude rejecting all 'outsiders'.

Totally in agreement with this.
Is it possible the PIL have thought ahead & realise OP’s family need to be encouraged to go out & do something else?

Sounds like it’ll become a story in the future. And your kids may find they enjoy that kind of thing. Chill and have a migraine excuse ready if needed,…

maybe the in laws were worried it would be a bit dull otherwise….

Yes I’d love it, would reduce the inevitable tension! Suppose whether you are keen on it or not very much depends on what each poster thinks when they project their own family dynamics onto it.

I've been told by friends I have from different European countries that we're peculiar for our habit of being primarily family centered at Christmas. I only have one friend who spends it on her own and have invited her to ours, but she has so many zoom calls with her extended family her day us already pretty full.

Given that mumsnet seems to be largely populated by socially awkward introverts who never answer the door or the phone and hate socialising, this thread has been quite a revelation to me.

I'm a "more the merrier" type as well, just not a karaoke type.

My guess is that they know you’re not keen on them. They might also find you and your judgey children a little bit boring so have invited friends who will liven things up. Just try to enjoy it.

If you are rarely there they will have developed their own way of celebrating, rather than sitting round glumy waiting for the next time the GC visit. And next year they will also want friends round, given their family won't be there.

Be glad they have people to celebrate with.

Teenagers react better to people who are kind, pleased to see them and want to spend time getting to know them, as we all do. Rather than dismissing them as glum and boring and ignoring them for the visit while the relatives get drunk with friends.